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November 10, 2011 at 11:56 pm
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There we stood on the precipice, looking into the abyss and we could clearly see Darkest Day III.  Thankfully, Travis Howard stepped front of an Indiana pass and rescued us from the nightmare which could have ended the 2011 season and doomed Luke Fickell’s tenure as OSU head coach.  Braxton Miller showed speed and elusiveness all afternoon in rushing for over 100 yards.  Boom and Carlos Hyde, remember him, also both racked up over 100 yards rushing.  The passing attack….well never mind.  You remember what Woody used to say about the  three things that could happen when you threw the ball and most of them were bad.  The defense looked about as bad as I can remember an OSU defense looking since Tim Biamawhatshisname made us cancel Christmas back in the 1990’s. Finally we inserted Ryan Shazier as a spy and slowed down the vaunted IU attack.  I still think our defensive backs drop into their zones and watch…instead of attack the ball and/or  receiver.  If you watched the LSU-Bama game later that night you saw a marked contrast.  Maybe it is youth, maybe it is my vision, maybe it is the Bushmills, but I am not used to watching the Silver Bullets get pushed around; certainly not by players wearing Indiana uniforms.   I guess a win is a win.  We still more or less control our own Big Ten destiny, but this struggle has undermined my swagger.  Our Buckeyes really need to improve this week and run downhill at our last two opponents.

This week we continue our tour of Indiana by visiting the Purdue Boilermakers in West Lafayette.  The last time our Buckeyes stopped by Ross Aide stadium I happened to be in Vegas.  There I endured the wrath of the local gamblers who, with the Buckeye loss, had just watched their parlays get blown up at 9:00 AM local time.  They were not a happy group.  The OSU offense had more turnovers than a French bakery.  Terrelle Pryor went into panic mode and played his worst game as a Buckeye.  A bad day all the way around.  It helped the Boiler cause that they had a defensive lineman, Ryan Kerrigan , now in the NFL, who we simply could not block.  Purdue coach Danny Hope had some choice words for Buckeye fans after his big win over the Bucks as to how we should “get used to it”.  Hmmm…Really,  Danny???  We are not even going to get used to your stupid mustache before you become the next coach at Wabash College.  Still we can look forward to the trip to West Lafayette to see the little train thing, the world’s 2nd largest drum and, if she makes bail, the Purdue Golden Girl.  That and a 24-13 victory makes for a fun weekend.

Last week Oklahoma escaped, barely an upset-minded Kansas State team, Nebraska gagged away the Limp Division lead by handing one to Northwestern. Iowa beat the visiting Weasels when Denurd had some trouble in the red zone.  Why is it whenever Denurd struggles, I just giggle uncontrollably?

Of course most eyes were focused on the battle in Tuscaloosa between top ranked LSU and #2 Alabama.  It was a classic battle of stone-age, or depending upon your opinion, great defensive football. The Tigers won in OT mostly because they had a decent kicker and Bama did not.  In a game with world class athletes and NFL talent strewn all over the field, this month’s Game of the Century, was decided by kickers.  That is like having a MMA bout won by Richard Simmons.

We are fortunate to have a report from our Conference Bubba Correspndant:

Howdy Friend of Brutus,

 Let me start by saying that it was quite easy to slip out of Tuscaloosa early this past Sunday morning. Apparently, "shock and awe" leaves quite the permanent mark on their impressionable emotional states. By the time Dumbo and the boys had dried their eyes and stopped tearing their hair out, we Coonasses were long gone. Actually, they're STILL whining. Not all of them, though. Some of them are extremely, shall we say, "upset". Others have still not spoken as of today. Dis Ole Cajun thinks that they talked so much crap for 2 solid weeks, they can't swallow it fast enough to keep from drowning in their own "juices". I gotta admit, it's kinda nice to hear the silence for a change. It's deafening, but I think I can acclimate to that.
  Whatta a football game!!! The "Best Coach in the Country" got out coached by our "Dumb-Ass MF who can't read a clock" (Dumbo words of wisdom). Not by much, but Bama stumbled, and that was the difference. Missed 2 FG's? Couldn't get any closer, could ya? Blocked another FG, didn't we? Intercepted your passes? The last one could have been called a completion and it wouldn't have been reversed on a review. One question, Dumbo ... What in the hell were y'all thinking during the OT? Honestly, Cuz, my Bayou Bengals were on your 2 yard line and driving when we ran out of clock at halftime. Our 2nd string QB throws that pass better, it's 7 - 3, not 3 - 3 at the half. The closest y'all got all night was our 17 yard line. Trent is one hellava RB. However, he had 169 of your 295 yards. And his last 2 runs lost 10 yards AND he was solo tackled on both. 23 rushes for 89 yards. 3 rushes accounted for 61 of those, and 15 of the remaining 20 rushes were negative yards. 80 yards on 5 receptions. 2 of 'em covered 60 yards. Ain't that "Best Coach in the Country" playing anybody else in a game?
  Your Defense is great, but you allowed 3.6 yards per carry, which is just a tad above your season average of 1.7 yards a pop. Y'all know EXACTLY why this Correspondent is telling y'all all this. Y'all spent a lot of time telling anyone who couldn't help but hear y'all crowing about how bad y'all were gonna beat our "asses". Well, our "Impossible to win a National Championship" 2 QB system outscored your "Impossible to beat us at home" team. Trent Richardson was very effective, but he ended up being all you had. So, he didn't run all over us for 200 yards and 5 TD's like y'all loudly predicted.
  The great thing about this one was that the Defenses were so good, they forced the Offenses to make mistakes. The Offenses were scouted so well that the plays they were used to practicing and running all season long just didn't work against these Defenses. So, in order to move the ball, both Offenses had to run plays they rarely practiced or used in games. That caused them to make mistakes. Bama stumbled ... end of story.
  So, cheer up, Dumbo. Y'all can limp on over to Starkville and "whip up" on them Mississippi State Bulldogs. But be careful. They ain't listening to big talk either these days. You'll have a hard time convincing the Dawgs that the "the best team didn't win" last weekend, as y'all have stated all this week. I guess you'll have to "bring it" one more time, cuz you sure ain't gonna talk them into surrendering either. And I guarantee y'all that Tennessee-Martin didn't make them Dawgs nearly as sore as y'all feel this week.
This team has something special going on right now. It's just a marvel to watch. We haven't been 9 - 0 since 1973. We haven't been 10 - 0 since 1958, when we won the National Championship and went 11 - 0 with Billy Cannon as a junior. We've never been 12 - 0.
  God, ... it's just great to be a Tiger!!!

  Go Bucks!!! Hope y'all make Purdue purr-don't.

  Geaux Tigers!!

Sadly, I am old enough to remember Billy Cannon, when the Tigers were coached by Paul Dietzel and gave us the politically incorrect, Chinese Bandit defense.  Supposedly, when Cannon returned a punt for a TD against (I think Ole Miss) the noise out of Tiger Stadium registered on some local Richter scales. 

This week:
Oregon at Stanford:  Luck vs the Ducks.  I think the Ducks have too much speed and Stanford runs out of Luck.  Sorry, that was just too easy.

Nebraska at Penn State:  No comment, even a wiseass like me knows when step away.

Oklahoma State at Texas Tech – Remember friends, this is the Tech team which went into Norman and whipped the Sooners a few weeks ago.  I think the Pokes will be ready and get out of Lubbock with their title dreams intact.

Weasel at Illinois:  Is Ron Zook ready to contribute to Western Civilization by beating the Weasels?  Though this is sort of like betting on the French army I think the Zookers get it done.

Michigan State after having the green stuff scared out of them by Minnesota last week, travels to Iowa.  I think the Spartans prevail, but we must issue the Hawks a word of thanks for the Weasel whipping they performed last week.

Bama visits Mississippi State:  If Dan Mullin can pull off this upset he gets an interview for the OSU job, should it become open and if Urban turns us down.

LSU plays a women’s rugby team.


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