TheHannimal's picture


Columbus (via Toledo)

Member since 19 November 2011 | Blog

Where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: Student > Student Tix > South Stands > For the entire 2002 title run AND TITLE.
  • NFL TEAM: Lions
  • NHL TEAM: Wings...CBJ are growing on me after 10 years here.
  • NBA TEAM: Pistons
  • MLB TEAM: Tigers

Recent Activity

Comment 19 Jan 2014

I don't post much anymore but this deserves a +1. 

Having played at and graduated from St Johns...and as an OSU Loving and the St Johns connection. I am a fan of Toledo products overall but really support the St Johns guys. Neshaun was amazing in his days at SJJ. Good to see him get a nod. 

Pretty cool to watch games, like against Sparty, and have Dakich give shout outs to SJJ and Heintschel (Dakich coached a couple SJJ players while at BG). 

Loving is a great kid and off to a solid start. Hopefully he bulks up a little and pounds in the B1G for years to come...he certainly has the skills, height and length. 

Go Titans and Go Bucks. 

Comment 22 Jan 2013

What is happening to the B1G right now in hoops on a macro level, is similar to what Sparty goes through on a micro level every year (hopefully).  Start off the year with some major matchups in tough environments.  Losing some, winning some.  Then come tourney time and when it matters most, they are battle hardened.  They can draw from experience and climb out of adverse holes.  Hoping the B1G plays this way in the tourney because we could sure use a title.

Comment 21 Jan 2013

Harbaugh's are both Toledo born.

I dont remember the source but I recall reading Jim had a falling out with Mich and was not going to coach there regardless.  The Superbowl, however, is certainly the nail in the coffin for his college hopefuls.

Comment 21 Jan 2013

No clear #2 scorer (or #3).  Why not just run the Princeton offense when stopped into half court sets.  Transition and running game is solid with our athletes, just nobody is wired to fill it up outside of Deshaun.


Waiting for Mark Loving to come in and torch.

Comment 20 Jan 2013

Perfect opportunity to start a Tucker Max style book.  

Comment 14 Jan 2013

With the defense Urban is assembling, unless the B1G gets it's act together real soon, I don't think we are going to give up a single point in conference from 2014 - 2018!  Kidding...kind of.

Comment 14 Jan 2013

Lazy Sunday yesterday and I went behind enemy lines and was cruising through MGoBlog...there was quite a bit of sky is falling talk with the poaching of Webb piggy backed on the hoops win.  The only shred of optimism out of their camp is that they have over a year to try and flip him...

I love it.  Damn its great to be a Buckeye.

Comment 11 Jan 2013

419 - Where the real pizza is! None of this thin crust BS that C-Bus loves.  

I was pumped beyond belief that they opened a Marco's here in C-Bus not too far from me!

Comment 11 Jan 2013

Congrats to Rob Chudzinski, a proud graduate of Toledo St John's Jesuit.


Comment 08 Jan 2013

3 cheers for Al Rocker taking a dump in his pants IN THE WHITE HOUSE and then leaving his soiled underwear in the bathroom...and then living to talk about it.

Well done sir!


Comment 07 Jan 2013

I will say that Alabama is pretty much the only school in the SEC that I respect.  LSU gets some props from me but from as far as an all time seat at the big boy table, Alabama is the only school in the SEC that has sustained a historic tradition of winning.  

HOWEVER, I am so sick of the entirety of the SEC riding the coat tails of the few teams really carrying all the weight recently. Just like my ancestors, I want to crush the south and put them back in their place.  

There is no way to knock Notre Dame's history and the way they operate.  Certainly there are annoying fans on both sides of this match up...but there are also horrible Buckeye fans as well so you can make an argument against anyone really.  

When you boil it all down the enemy of our enemy is our friend.  I have to route for our neighbors and Catholic brotherhood to shut up an entire region of the country.  MIDWEST FOOTBALL RULES.

Comment 03 Jan 2013

Had a real solid couch tour this new years catching 3 nights of Phish and then a shred-fest of a NYE show from Panic.

Comment 29 Dec 2012
Holy schnikes that was great. No wonder those guys won em all this year. I could easily rush for 250yds a game if coach Coombs spoke to me...and I'm a 6'-1", 200lb, 31yr old who runs a 7.4 forty and shows up to games hammered drunk. Also, I am a builder. And every day I am training as hard as i can to destroy all Alabama builders.
Comment 28 Dec 2012

I too am from Toledo and can corrobarate this...

I am 31 and have not lived in Toledo since I was 18 and still answer to where I went to highschool.  It's cool though because St. John's ROOOOLZ!

Comment 19 Dec 2012

Class act.  Great message and I totally agree with him.

I will be routing for that guy moving forward and way to carpe diem.