"It's these absurd punishments that are driving everyone away from amateurism."
Who is being driven away? TV ratings have never been higher. If you are talking about the O'bannon case, the decision had nothing to do with amatuerism. The issue was whether or not it was an unfair restraint on trade/anti-trust violation.
"The NCAA is the 4th grade bully who doesn't really scare anyone but kicks around the kindergarteners when no one's looking. They don't have any real enforcement power so they can't investigate real crimes or compel anyone to actually cooperate."
The NCAA is like MVD or the IRS. They have a necessary job to do, but when they do it, everyone hates them for it. Without them, there would be even more rampant cheating. You are right they don't have the power of the subpoena, but this really doesn't matter that much because it isn't a legal proceeding and they don't have to follow Due Process (just ask USC or Penn State). So this is a red herring that gets repeated over and over but misses the point.
The rest of it, I sort of agree with. Too many rules and many of them are silly. But keep in mind the purpose is to keep schools from using whatever they can to pay players and funnel them to their school. When you break this down, you see how hard it is to draw a line, which is why there are so many rules. I have asked others that, if players could sign autographs and keep that money, do you think for one minute schools wouldn't get involved in this by setting up autograph sessions for recruits and using this in the recruiting process? Wouldn't this favor the bigger schools who could then throw their brand behind this to make it work? That is what really is at stake here and why the NCAA is reluctant to voluntarily open those flood gates.