BuckeyePoetLaureate's picture


Member since 06 July 2013 | Blog

Fellow Buckeyes, I didn't particularly care for college sports until the beautiful day in 2007 when I learned that I had been accepted to Ohio State's stellar Creative Writing MFA Program. From that moment, I have found great happiness in succumbing to the benign tribalism that comes with being a fan of Buckeye sports. (I don't REALLY think that the Wolverines are evil subhumans, but it's fun to engage in good-natured taunting.) Ohio State has a stellar history of nurturing both great writers and great athletes. I hope to contribute poems that will continue both traditions and reinforce that Buckeye sports are really a long and wonderfully complicated narrative.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: 2008 Michigan Game. At the Shoe. We win. (Of course.)
  • COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Current: Kenny Guiton. Past: Brandon Saine.
  • COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER: Current: Aaron Craft. Past: William Buford.
  • MLB TEAM: Detroit Tigers

Recent Activity

Comment 28 Nov 2015

Their branding is also messed up.  Compare the letter on Hairball's hat to the one behind him.  Totally different font.  The thick letter is much more imposing, but he is wearing the teensy-weensy version.

Comment 28 Nov 2015

TTUN fan 1 

All Michigan has is talking about "the good old days" and spouting tired excuses. There will be the same excuses after the loss next year and so on and so on. Not sure even Harbaugh can turn this program around.

TTUN fan 2 

Uh, let's give him some time. Plenty of teams have turned things around with fewer resources than Michigan. (MSU comes to mind...) 

What is that guy talking about?  How many teams have MORE resources than they do?

Comment 26 Nov 2015

I'm sorry to say that all of the alternatives to the Mirror Lake Jump sound like how your parents let you soap your own living room window on Halloween.  A mildly transgressive act is not fun when your mother is standing three feet away, saying, "Excellent job, dear.  Your father is going to have a tough time getting that soap off of the window."

Comment 26 Nov 2015

Or...now hear me out.  We could stop having such a litigious culture and put everything in proper perspective, even very, very sad accidents.

Comment 25 Nov 2015

A bonfire sounds extremely dangerous.  Not only is there an inherent risk of causing damage to surrounding property and structures, but fires release smoke that can be extremely hazardous for those who have respiratory ailments.  

Comment 21 Nov 2015

I consider myself the clickbait police and this was not clickbait.  First of all, the quote from EZE is a big story in itself and deserves to be reported.  11W staff didn't lie or exaggerate about what it said.  Second, 11W is a news site...but the commentariat is a big part of why we all come here.  On a Saturday evening after a depressing loss, we all want to talk about what happened.  (Or we want to cry about what happened.)  

Not to mention that the overworked and underpaid 11W staff updates with things like the video of EZE all the time.  You don't see that on ntertainment4u.com, where all they do is report that someone else reported that someone else reported that Kylie Jenner tweeted about Tyga hugging her on her birthday.

Comment 12 Nov 2015

That was my thought, too.  Definitely a "what a crazy stop" tone.  Neither of the officers seems to have done anything wrong and I am fine with everything JT did, too.  His swearing in the cruiser is very sad...we've all had a moment when we realized we screwed up big time.

Comment 01 Nov 2015

Yes, someone mentioned Weird Al earlier.  He does his literal parodies where he re-records the music and sings his new lyrics with the same melody.

But he also does his style parodies.  For example, "Pancreas" is a 100% original Weird Al composition, but it's clearly done in the style of late 1960s Beach Boys.

Weird Al wrote every note and word of "Dare to Be Stupid," which is in the style of Devo.

And thanks for the kind words about my site!  Everyone "steals" in the way we're talking about.  Urban looks at what is happening in other games and borrows some ideas here and there and other people borrow from him.
Comment 01 Nov 2015

I'm not sure this is a derivative work.  A derivative work might be if I wrote Harry Potter fan fiction and tried to sell it; my story would be derived from the Harry Potter universe.

This song seems more like a style parody to me.  The riffs are different.  The melody is different.  The chorus is different.  The structure is different.

AC/DC rocks, but they don't have a copyright on songs that begin with just the guitar, then the bass comes in then the whole band starts playing.

Comment 24 Oct 2015

No one cares what I think, but the "don't run up the score" thing is BS.  If you respect your opponent, you try your best.  You never, ever know what will happen in the rest of the game.  It's a matter of respect for your opponent.  Were this T-Ball played by five-year-olds, I might feel differently.  Instead, these are D-I college football players.

Further, I want us to keep scoring because of those darn "style points" we need.  Some of those voters don't think we're number one for some reason.  

Comment 24 Oct 2015

The offense is humming so well.  I love feeling as though the game is in control in the third quarter.  I'm not sure what the difference is between this week and most others this season.

Comment 24 Oct 2015

I'm thrilled about that beautiful touchdown, but...

Is there a reason J.T. has literally been stopped by his fellow Buckeyes twice tonight?