BuckeyePoetLaureate's picture


Member since 06 July 2013 | Blog

Fellow Buckeyes, I didn't particularly care for college sports until the beautiful day in 2007 when I learned that I had been accepted to Ohio State's stellar Creative Writing MFA Program. From that moment, I have found great happiness in succumbing to the benign tribalism that comes with being a fan of Buckeye sports. (I don't REALLY think that the Wolverines are evil subhumans, but it's fun to engage in good-natured taunting.) Ohio State has a stellar history of nurturing both great writers and great athletes. I hope to contribute poems that will continue both traditions and reinforce that Buckeye sports are really a long and wonderfully complicated narrative.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: 2008 Michigan Game. At the Shoe. We win. (Of course.)
  • COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Current: Kenny Guiton. Past: Brandon Saine.
  • COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER: Current: Aaron Craft. Past: William Buford.
  • MLB TEAM: Detroit Tigers

Recent Activity

Comment 14 Dec 2015

I will agree that the Abrams films have better special effects.  But The Phantom Menace had a completely CG character and we all know what happened with that.  The direction was terrible.  The camera doesn't stop moving and the edits are too quick; you can't figure out what is going on.  The stories were slight (in the first one) and stolen and needlessly complicated to avoid claims of theft (the second one).  If there hadn't been 45 years of Trek, no one would have cared about Kirk (who is now a dirt biker who loves music from the 1970s) or Spock, who has no emotions except for he's in love with Uhura now.  The main problem with the second one was that everyone in the audience knew what was going on at least 45 minutes before the characters did.

And don't get me started on the deus ex machina of NuKhan's blood.

I understand why the first film made money and the second film made a little bit of money.  It's Kirk! And Spock! And Bones!  But none of the previous ten movies or 700 TV episodes ever happened.  And there's no time for thought or character development or big themes because something just blowed up and the camera whip-panned and Bones just said, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an LG 4G Smartphone with dual cameras!" because he had to say it at some point and LG kicked in two million dollars for product placement.

Comment 14 Dec 2015

I am sure that many will disagree with me, and that's okay.  This is the United States.

But I didn't like the Abrams Trek movies and this looks even worse.  Instead of Star Trek, the Abrams movies were Generic Space Blowup Lens Flare Nauseating Shakicam Movies #2491 and #3891.  How can you tell?  None of these movies have to be "Star Trek" aside from the fact that Abrams called Benedict Cumberbatch "Khan" solely because it reminds Star Trek fans and casual moviegoers of Star Trek II.

Comment 28 Nov 2015

Their branding is also messed up.  Compare the letter on Hairball's hat to the one behind him.  Totally different font.  The thick letter is much more imposing, but he is wearing the teensy-weensy version.

Comment 28 Nov 2015

TTUN fan 1 

All Michigan has is talking about "the good old days" and spouting tired excuses. There will be the same excuses after the loss next year and so on and so on. Not sure even Harbaugh can turn this program around.

TTUN fan 2 

Uh, let's give him some time. Plenty of teams have turned things around with fewer resources than Michigan. (MSU comes to mind...) 

What is that guy talking about?  How many teams have MORE resources than they do?

Comment 26 Nov 2015

I'm sorry to say that all of the alternatives to the Mirror Lake Jump sound like how your parents let you soap your own living room window on Halloween.  A mildly transgressive act is not fun when your mother is standing three feet away, saying, "Excellent job, dear.  Your father is going to have a tough time getting that soap off of the window."

Comment 26 Nov 2015

Or...now hear me out.  We could stop having such a litigious culture and put everything in proper perspective, even very, very sad accidents.

Comment 25 Nov 2015

A bonfire sounds extremely dangerous.  Not only is there an inherent risk of causing damage to surrounding property and structures, but fires release smoke that can be extremely hazardous for those who have respiratory ailments.  

Comment 21 Nov 2015

I consider myself the clickbait police and this was not clickbait.  First of all, the quote from EZE is a big story in itself and deserves to be reported.  11W staff didn't lie or exaggerate about what it said.  Second, 11W is a news site...but the commentariat is a big part of why we all come here.  On a Saturday evening after a depressing loss, we all want to talk about what happened.  (Or we want to cry about what happened.)  

Not to mention that the overworked and underpaid 11W staff updates with things like the video of EZE all the time.  You don't see that on ntertainment4u.com, where all they do is report that someone else reported that someone else reported that Kylie Jenner tweeted about Tyga hugging her on her birthday.

Comment 12 Nov 2015

That was my thought, too.  Definitely a "what a crazy stop" tone.  Neither of the officers seems to have done anything wrong and I am fine with everything JT did, too.  His swearing in the cruiser is very sad...we've all had a moment when we realized we screwed up big time.