BuckeyePoetLaureate's picture


Member since 06 July 2013 | Blog

Fellow Buckeyes, I didn't particularly care for college sports until the beautiful day in 2007 when I learned that I had been accepted to Ohio State's stellar Creative Writing MFA Program. From that moment, I have found great happiness in succumbing to the benign tribalism that comes with being a fan of Buckeye sports. (I don't REALLY think that the Wolverines are evil subhumans, but it's fun to engage in good-natured taunting.) Ohio State has a stellar history of nurturing both great writers and great athletes. I hope to contribute poems that will continue both traditions and reinforce that Buckeye sports are really a long and wonderfully complicated narrative.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: 2008 Michigan Game. At the Shoe. We win. (Of course.)
  • COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Current: Kenny Guiton. Past: Brandon Saine.
  • COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER: Current: Aaron Craft. Past: William Buford.
  • MLB TEAM: Detroit Tigers

Recent Activity

Comment 29 Apr 2016

Urban's players are more than welcome to enter the job market instead of playing football at Ohio State.  Nothing is stopping college football players from getting a paying job instead of playing college football.

Urban's players are also more than welcome to do what they can to get a job coaching college football at a top D-I school instead of playing college football, just like you, just like me.  We are all eligible to put our hats in the ring for those extremely exclusive jobs.

Comment 27 Apr 2016

I'm always late to threads on 11W, but this seems very much like a salary dump to me.  They let Bayless and Tirico go because they spent 12 trillion dollars on rights for live sports.  They're making the classic silly move to dump pennies because they spent dollars.

Comment 08 Apr 2016
The USWNT doesn't have that reputation because their domestic abuser was protected by the media and by the leagues. And it is sexist, I assure you, to treat abusers differently or grant victims different justice based on gender. That is literally the definition of sexism. Let us remember this as the USWNT sues to make more money than the men even though they bring in far less money. Equality is not a thing, but it should be.
Comment 06 Apr 2016
I am as upset as all of you; violence is not the way to solve domestic problems. I just can't help but be confused as to why Hope Solo suffered zero consequences for assaulting two family members. ESPN released those pictures and the police reports...crickets.
Comment 31 Mar 2016

The DWI was stupid and harmed no one, thankfully.

I do worry that you are blaming the victim with the domestic violence problem.  If you review the 911 tapes, it's clear that Barrett is responding to an abusive aggressor and wants the situation resolved without violence (or press, I'm sure), but the aggressor knows that they have the power in the situation.


Comment 19 Feb 2016
If you gents don't believe that we were ever on the moon, then you must explain all of the footprints on the moon, among other things. Yes, much of our technology has advanced, but we no longer had a reason to go to the moon and was focusing its attention on the Shuttle and other efforts to commercialize space.
Comment 08 Feb 2016

Oops.  I meant to include a link or two to the phenomenon that is not made up.


Comment 08 Feb 2016

Yes, I agree.  I thought that was implied, but I would like Billy to be in some sort of rehab where he gets 24/7 attention and he's not allowed to see his ex or anyone else who could cause him to cause problems.

Comment 08 Feb 2016

The fallout on this will be interesting.  The Hope Solo police reports are much worse, but she was never punished.

At the very, very least, Billy needs to go to a real rehab for a year and figure out his life.

Comment 08 Feb 2016

One of the beautiful things about living in a country in which the arts are supported and respected is that we can understand both sides of humanity, the science and the magic.  Here's an example.  The reason OP heard "cell phone" is a phenomenon called "pareidolia."  It's a psychological phenomenon in which we pay tribute to our lowly animal beginnings.  When we were on the African plain, we would hear branches cracking.  Those of us who assumed it was a panther and ran tended to survive (and pass down their genes) because they ran when there really was a panther on their heels.  For better and worse, we still make patterns out of randomness.  That is why we mishear song lyrics so often. 

Here is a fun example.  "Stairway to Heaven" played backwards is gibberish.  But when someone "primes" you with suggested lyrics, you would swear that's what Robert Plant is really singing.  (For additional fun, listen to a section without priming yourself, then listen again with the lyrics.)


The middle ground is the personal meaning and our personal understanding of art and the world around us.  This is why we pay for high school sports and arts programs alike. 

Comment 08 Feb 2016
As a guy who is primarily a baseball fan, I am very much disappointed in the steroid era. McGwire was a problem, yes, but guys like Bonds still haven't come clean. I am open to proof against Manning and will apply the same criteria I did against ballplayers. Cam stole a laptop.
Comment 14 Dec 2015

I will agree that the Abrams films have better special effects.  But The Phantom Menace had a completely CG character and we all know what happened with that.  The direction was terrible.  The camera doesn't stop moving and the edits are too quick; you can't figure out what is going on.  The stories were slight (in the first one) and stolen and needlessly complicated to avoid claims of theft (the second one).  If there hadn't been 45 years of Trek, no one would have cared about Kirk (who is now a dirt biker who loves music from the 1970s) or Spock, who has no emotions except for he's in love with Uhura now.  The main problem with the second one was that everyone in the audience knew what was going on at least 45 minutes before the characters did.

And don't get me started on the deus ex machina of NuKhan's blood.

I understand why the first film made money and the second film made a little bit of money.  It's Kirk! And Spock! And Bones!  But none of the previous ten movies or 700 TV episodes ever happened.  And there's no time for thought or character development or big themes because something just blowed up and the camera whip-panned and Bones just said, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an LG 4G Smartphone with dual cameras!" because he had to say it at some point and LG kicked in two million dollars for product placement.