BuckeyePoetLaureate's picture


Member since 06 July 2013 | Blog

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Fellow Buckeyes, I didn't particularly care for college sports until the beautiful day in 2007 when I learned that I had been accepted to Ohio State's stellar Creative Writing MFA Program. From that moment, I have found great happiness in succumbing to the benign tribalism that comes with being a fan of Buckeye sports. (I don't REALLY think that the Wolverines are evil subhumans, but it's fun to engage in good-natured taunting.) Ohio State has a stellar history of nurturing both great writers and great athletes. I hope to contribute poems that will continue both traditions and reinforce that Buckeye sports are really a long and wonderfully complicated narrative.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: 2008 Michigan Game. At the Shoe. We win. (Of course.)
  • COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Current: Kenny Guiton. Past: Brandon Saine.
  • COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER: Current: Aaron Craft. Past: William Buford.
  • MLB TEAM: Detroit Tigers

Recent Activity

Comment 04 Oct 2014

Ouch.  Here's their remaining schedule:

Oct 11 Penn St. 7:00 pm  
Oct 25 @Michigan St. #10    
Nov 1 Indiana 3:30 pm  
Nov 8 @Northwestern    
Nov 22 Maryland    
Nov 29 @Ohio St. #20

They're now 2-4...is there really a way they can have a winning season?

Comment 02 Oct 2014

I'm guessing that people like Harbaugh, who preach accountability and taking responsibility for your huge mistakes, understand why students are protesting the lack of accountability for Brandon and Hoke's big mistakes.

Do you really think that a big-time coach is going to be scared off because the fan base is angry about Hoke's four mediocre-to-bad teams?  You don't think these kinds of guys EXPECT student protests if they're as bad as Michigan has been for so long?

Comment 01 Oct 2014

Sigh.  You seem to think you made no statements that made plain you denied the kid had a concussion.

OSUUndergrad: "How the fuck do you not think he's concussed?..."

You: "Well because I was there, sitting 25 rows behind the Michigan bench, and six rows behind Joe Bolden's and Ben Gedeon's parents."

Jkrk: "Are they neurologists with 19-row CAT Scan capabilities?"

You: "Well no.  But am I arguing with a guy who saw the game on tv in Ohio?  And do you think a CT would rule in or rule out a concussion in any event?

Nota bene:  One of Brian Cook's regular content writers over at MGoBlog rips Hoke over what he describes as, "an almost certainly concussed Shane Morris..."  I disagree.  Not about Hoke's terminal status; certainly not about Shane Morris being clearly injured and it would be hard for me to argue that Morris was not in a compromised position on the field due to his ankle.

I just think that "clearly concussed" is wrong, it's a stretch, and it's based on... what?  What the tv announcers said?

I had better seats than Ace, if I recall correctly where Ace sits.  (I know where Brian Cook sits; on the opposite sideline where I usually sit; today was a rare exception for me when I was behind the Michigan bench.) "

In response to DustinCCC, you write: "Did you notice that he had the conscious wherewithal to take out his mouthguard and tuck it into the upper bar of his facemask?  What you saw as a concussive wobble, I saw in real time as him stepping awkwardly on his ankle.  I can't swear to it, but Shane might have stepped on the edge of one of Ben Braden's shoes."

Lemme guess...you have a law degree from TTUN.

Comment 30 Sep 2014

Why would there be an "unreasonable level of media hysteria?"  After all, as you pointed out over the weekend, there was no chance that Shane Morris had a concussion and you could tell because you had awesome seats at the Big House that allowed you to see what was happening "without the filter of a tv broadcast."


Comment 30 Sep 2014

Our coaches and trainers did everything correctly.  There were no problems at all.  Anyone who claims that we have serious institutional problems doesn't understand the situation.

Comment 29 Sep 2014

That's actually not a bad idea.  When TTUN keeps losing all their games, their fan base will realize they have no chance in heck of beating us.  If you offer one of their alumni twenty bucks and a handshake, you could probably get them to buy tickets for you for the price of a Domino's Artisan Flatcrust pizza.

Comment 29 Sep 2014

Fuke Lickell?

Bearl Eruce?

Tim Jressel?

Con Jooper?

Warroll Ciddoes?

M'rban U'eyer?  Nah, that one doesn't work.

Comment 29 Sep 2014

I'm sure that TTUN could stop the bloodletting if they hire the right coach.  Maybe Vince Lombardi.  Don Shula?  They need someone like those guys to balance out what's happened in AA the past few years.

Comment 29 Sep 2014

Ha ha ha.  Look what's trending on the main page of Twitter:



LOTS of good stuff there:

They're all HILARIOUS.

Comment 28 Sep 2014

You really have to think that all of the discord in AA is going to have an effect on their team.  They don't know who their quarterback is, the press and fans are even ANGRIER at Hoke, the fan base hates Brandon, too.

Maybe TTUN is lucky it's an away game.

Comment 28 Sep 2014

Yes, I agree that Ms. Lawrence doesn't deserve the comparison.  On the other hand, I didn't want to be a jerk to a real human being by, in effect, saying she's ugly. 

And while I like to think I'm a guy of peace, I shudder to think at the fight we'd have over Ms. Strahovski.

Comment 28 Sep 2014

At first, I was thinking that I would forgive the kid.  After all, he's young and young people say and do things they regret.  Young people don't understand adult rules of civility and the like.  Fine. 

But let's think of this in another way. 

Just imagine, regardless of your gender and preferences, that Yvonne Strahovski recruits you to date her.  She really likes you and imagines that you could have four, maybe even five great years together. 

Yvonne begs you to go out with her, but you turn her down.  Why?  Because you're deeply in love with Jennifer Lawrence.  Yvonne calls you a hundred times, sends a thousand texts, and you finally put your foot down and make a commitment: you don't want to spend all of those years with her. 

In fact, you and Jennifer go out on several dates.  Things start out okay; you're impressed by her facilities and history of good acting performances.  You even send out several tweets in which you point out that Jennifer Lawrence's movies out-gross those of Yvonne Strahovski.  You are quoted in the news as saying that Yvonne is not as hot as Jennifer.

But then Jennifer loses a bunch of games, no one will go to her movies, even when tickets are given away with the purchase of a couple Cokes, and she leaves a quarterback in the game when he really needed to be tested for a concussion.

Can you really give Yvonne a call and ask her out?  It might be different if you had kept your mouth shut about Yvonne, but you didn't.