BuckeyePoetLaureate's picture


Member since 06 July 2013 | Blog

Helmet Stickers: 612 | Leaderboard

Fellow Buckeyes, I didn't particularly care for college sports until the beautiful day in 2007 when I learned that I had been accepted to Ohio State's stellar Creative Writing MFA Program. From that moment, I have found great happiness in succumbing to the benign tribalism that comes with being a fan of Buckeye sports. (I don't REALLY think that the Wolverines are evil subhumans, but it's fun to engage in good-natured taunting.) Ohio State has a stellar history of nurturing both great writers and great athletes. I hope to contribute poems that will continue both traditions and reinforce that Buckeye sports are really a long and wonderfully complicated narrative.


  • SPORTS MOMENT: 2008 Michigan Game. At the Shoe. We win. (Of course.)
  • COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER: Current: Kenny Guiton. Past: Brandon Saine.
  • COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYER: Current: Aaron Craft. Past: William Buford.
  • MLB TEAM: Detroit Tigers

Recent Activity

Comment 9 hours ago

What a fantastic point, friend.  I agree; JT and Cardale are as prepared as any backups can possibly be.  (And are probably BETTER prepared than many.  Not just because they are Buckeyes and we rule, but because Miller has been out for so long.  Things would be VERY different if Miller went down five games in or something.)  

The injury to Braxton Miller can't be seen as a good thing by anyone, really, but there are a few positives in our favor.  Our backups have had time to prepare.  JT is from a place where it's hot, hot, hot.  Ohio State has a history of world-class backup QBs (I'm a Kenny G fan).  Urban Meyer is a great coach and he employs top-notch position coaches.  

So no one is happy about what's happened, but I guess it could be worse.  And thanks for making a good point to help reassure me.

Comment 20 Aug 2014

You would be hard-pressed to find someone who loves science and engineering more than I do, but these kinds of things always creep me out.  I guess I don't like thinking that we're so fragile and that we sometimes need to be held together with bolts and screws.

My hat's off to the surgeons who perform these operations and the engineers who design these implements and the workers who make them.

Comment 20 Aug 2014

Thanks for "calling in," Little Dan!  You already know you love the place, so I hope you comment a bunch.

I agree with you; Urban and the other coaches know what they're doing, so we should, to some extent, trust what they're doing.  I think we should just be grateful that we have coaches who are so good at recruiting.

Comment 18 Aug 2014

Absolutely.  I love seeing that a walk-on lost his stripe. 

Comment 18 Aug 2014

Welcome!  This is indeed, in my opinion, the best Buckeye site around.  You do seem to have the GIF thing down.  Remember that Jennifer Lawrence seems to be a favorite.

Oh, did another freshman just lose the black stripe on his helmet?  Oh yeah...

Comment 18 Aug 2014

I actually feel a bit bad because of how unpleasant those forums can be.  I thought "Michigan Men" held themselves to a higher standard.  Turns out that's just a phrase they put in brochures.

Comment 16 Aug 2014

You guys, we really shouldn't laugh at the attendance figures.  Fire codes are there to make sure that those people are protected; each spectator needs at least five empty rows around them to ensure they can exit the stadium safely if anything bad happens.

Comment 16 Aug 2014

I can see your point a little when the goalpost breaks.  But that doesn't happen often.  (And it shouldn't happen at all.  We put over a dozen men on the Moon!)  I don't think there's a penalty when a basketball player smashes the backboard glass.

I would be fine with a you-breaks-the-goalpost-you-gets-a-penalty policy, but not a penalty for a one-second expression of joy.

Comment 16 Aug 2014

I actually LOVED following along with the 11W live chat when I could last year.  It's so great to connect in (relative) real time with other people who are hanging on every play.  Do some people get fired up and say some...interesting things when bad things happen to our Bucks?  Sure.  I really like reading those things and I don't hold them against the commenter because those are honest reactions and they are inspired by a deep love for our team.  I'd much rather sit in the bleachers with a bunch of foul-mouthed Buckeye rooters than in a quiet luxury box with people who would rather play on their phones and don't check the score until the end of the game.

I won't get too specific, but I was bummed when participating in a real-time forum for my baseball team during the playoffs a couple years ago.  Instead of cheering the strikes and lamenting the balls, half of the people on the forum were hypernagging the other half for using "naughty" words or for saying mean things about the opposing teams' players.  Sorry, but that's how sports fans work.  ("Fan" comes from "fanatic," after all.)  I hasten to point out that I don't condone libelous or extremely violent statements, but come on.  I don't want to watch The Game and be limited to, "Gracious, that Wolverine running back certainly fought his way to a respectable gain, but I wish he had been tackled in the backfield instead.  But not so violently that he became injured, of course."

The point, Tater_Schroeder, is that the 11W chat is an awful lot of fun and is filled with big fans above the age of 18. 

Comment 15 Aug 2014

Here's the conundrum: Some student-athletes just aren't all that interested in being students.  Even though I love learning and teaching, I have to acknowledge that those things are just not important to some people. 

I certainly don't have any solutions, but these kinds of scandals will happen until there is a real minor league farm system for football and basketball.  (Not that I necessarily want Ohio State and other colleges to miss out on top recruits for whom education isn't a top priority.)

Comment 15 Aug 2014

The comments from what I consider to be the equivalent of 11W for TTUN are pretty revolting.  So many people making excuses.  So many people comparing obvious assault captured of an unarmed person to the stupid volleyball-player-hanging-out-the-window joyride TTUN had earlier this year.

I didn't link because I'm paranoid and don't want to run afoul of a policy, but come on.  York should already have been booted from the team.  The fact that he hasn't been booted has Bo spinning around in his grave.

Comment 14 Aug 2014

That's a good point and a good parallel. 

In 1947, there were unpleasant people who felt that African-Americans didn't believe in baseball.  You could read their editorials in newspapers and hear their awful opinions in the neighborhood bar.

Today, there are unpleasant people who believe that homosexuals shouldn't play football or have other rights that are otherwise afforded to them by the status of being human.  You can read such editorials in newspapers and on countless web sites.

It was a big deal when Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and endured a lot of terrible hardship.  Firsts are always going to grab more attention because they represent a change in our culture.  Can you name the second African-American ballplayer (Larry Doby)?  Can you name the last man to have walked on the moon?  (Gene Cernan)

In time, folks will no longer even hear about players who are gay, just as we Buckeye fans don't even think about race when we look at our recruits, etc.

Comment 10 Aug 2014

Think of it this way.  If a person is rooting for Manziel to fail spectacularly, everyone needs to pay a TON of attention to him now so his fall will be more satisfying to them.

Comment 09 Aug 2014

Seeing as how Ohio State is one of the handful of profitable ADs, this is good for us.  Other ADs will cut sports and focus on football and basketball, but they won't be able to keep up with the pay that we can offer.  We'll really only be competing with a few other schools--a dozen at most--for top employment recruits.

Comment 02 Aug 2014

"Soccer," also known as "football" elsewhere in the world, is an activity that was created to tire children out.  An official places a ball in the middle of a patch of ground (or "pitch") and the children subsequently run around for ninety minutes straight, rendering them tired and calm and ready for bed.  On some occasions, the children are not tired enough at the end of ninety minutes, so the official forces the children to run around for several more minutes.  (Also known as "stoppage time.")

Comment 28 Jul 2014

I don't have HBO, so I can't watch the show.  I will say that the program is based on a novel written by my favorite contemporary author, Tom Perrotta.  (I've met him a couple times, so that makes us close, personal friends, right?)  Perrotta is also heavily involved with the show, although I'm sure Lindelof is the Head Cheese.

I would urge everyone to check out the original The Leftovers book as well as Perrotta's earlier efforts:

Election: a great allegory on the 1992 election. Later made into a STELLAR film starring Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon.

Joe College: An absolutely hilarious and touching coming-of-age novel about a young man named Danny, a lower-middle class kid who is attending Yale...while causing himself a lot of personal problems.

The Wishbones: A 35-year-old wedding band guitarist has been dating his girlfriend for 15 years.  An elderly colleague dies during a wedding band showcase and the protagonist stumbles home in a daze...and unintentionally asks the woman to marry him.  Through the rest of the novel, he learns what he wants in life and love.  Also hilarious.

Bad Haircut: A collection of the gentleman's stories.  Fun and meaningful.

Little Children: A dark look at suburbia.  Made into a film with Kate Winslet.  You'll recall the washing machine scene.

The Abstinence Teacher: Perrotta enjoys examining suburbia.  This time, it's a woman who is a dealing with a wave of Puritanism infecting her town.

Honestly, Perrotta is great because he's "literary" (meaning the books are "good" and well-written and acclaimed), but they're also a ton of fun.  Some "literary" books are really hard to read and...well...boring.  These are not. =)

Comment 26 Jul 2014

I was at the 2008 Penn State game and that loss was pretty bad.  We really should have won that game. 

USC 2008 and 2009 were painful, too.

Here's how I felt those days: