Here's how we did it, Nick:
Mickey Marotti in the offseason.
Then we used Mickey Marotti to take out your All-American safety and starting linebacker.
Then we used Mickey Marotti to lay out your newly inserted freshman linebacker in addition to your other overweight starting linebacker.
Then we used Mickey Marotti to outrun your ass to the endzone.
Oh, we also used Cardale Jones to torch your ass on third downs. You know, when Mickey couldn't quite get it done on first and second downs.