Ohio State's Columbus campus can seem like a monster to a new student.
I would know. I arrived in Columbus from the University of Montana (think the size of Bowling Green) in 2008. I was 22, had been "living" on my own for four years, and even then, Ohio State's Columbus campus, which is basically a city sewed into the intestines of America's 15th largest city, seemed like a tall glass of water.
But because 2008 was the Stone Age — Seriously, back then it wasn't sociopathic to type "Facebook.com" into your browser — I didn't have Twitter as sense-heading device. In retrospect, it could have served me well... but it could've also earned me a free ride to jail.
Though it was of no planning of my own, I've now arrived at a point in my life where I can discern good #OSUtips from the bad.
*zips up Hazmat suit and steps into The Twitter Machine*
#osutips dont be afraid to speak
— A$AP Queen (@_AllThtGlitters) July 9, 2015
This is a good advice. If you go through college without speaking... there's a 5% chance you're a genius that won't be understood for hundreds, maybe thousands of years. The other 95% chance is that you'll be branded as creepy and will fail to develop the necessary social skills required to survive in 21st century America.
#osutips #osu19 Plaza Margs get you right
— MARINA. (@aqua_marineee) July 9, 2015
Good advice: Plaza Margs — or any margs, actually — will get you right. Raw tequila, however, is bad. You will never wake up and say, "I'm glad I drank tequila last night."
#osutips do a shot in front of your RA to assert dominance
— Ryan (@RyDonn) July 9, 2015
#osutips PAD is the best pizza on campus
— Ryan (@RyDonn) July 9, 2015
#osutips Joey Bosa and Zeke love when you try to talk to them on campus and ask for autographs
— Ryan (@RyDonn) July 9, 2015
Poor Ryan is (intentionally) a rolling bowling ball of bad takes. Outside of my writing, it's wise to avoid people who intentionally poison the well of intelligent discourse.
(For the record: Adriatico's is the best pizza on campus.)
#OsuTips Cs may get degrees but not internships. Strive for better.
— The Miseducation of (@littl_jimmy) July 9, 2015
Counterpoint: Cs are not Ds, which are only a passing grade for non-major classes.
Have a couple older friends. They'll look out for you. #OSUtips
— Esquire (@SquireJay) July 9, 2015
#osutips don't share any currency OSU provided you to buy food for the semester. These upperclassmen got you fucked up.
— Lil K (@wristofer) July 9, 2015
The one exception to the rule.
#OSUtips when buying a textbook for class try to buy it off of a student who has previously taken the class. Barnes and Nobles will wax you.
— Mana Kassa (@ManaKassa) July 9, 2015
Only correction: Any "official" textbook store will wax you. College textbook trafficking is legalized drug dealing.
#OSUtips go upstairs at Midway to a magical place called Dance Land
— Aaron (@aphilly02) July 9, 2015
This only applies to people with rhythm. If I tried this I would be immediately tased and rung up on disorderly conduct charges.
Load up on free everything during welcome week #OSUtips #OSU19
— Anthony (@ShadohAK) July 9, 2015
#OSUtips no, you are not seeing things, that is a man with a bagpipe. Except he is not a man. He is a gift. #osu19
— Quentin (@qbrown_2) July 9, 2015
#OsuTips make the gym and studying a part of your day everyday, even if just for an hour.
— michael (@GucciFlexxx) July 9, 2015
#OsuTips DONT signal for the cabs bus to stop ...they automatically stop at every stop
— MARINA. (@aqua_marineee) July 9, 2015
#OSUtips Man just go to fucking class!
— Mama Mira (@AMirrorMurders) July 9, 2015
If you're from the south, wait til you get to Ohio to buy winter clothes. The jacket you brought from home won't keep you warm. #osutips
— #IDHT (@gracibeaucoup) July 9, 2015
#osutips office hours saves lives
— A$AP Queen (@_AllThtGlitters) July 9, 2015
All solid advice here. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to crack quantum physics so I can get these messages back to myself when I was #new2osu.
