Skull Session: Damon Webb's Development Bodes Well for Silver Bullets, Mike Conley Buys 500 Playoff Tickets, and Cardale Jones Hurts Joe Burrow's Feelings

By D.J. Byrnes on April 20, 2017 at 4:59a
Billy Price awaits the dawn of the April 20th 2017 Skull Session
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Another day for the gentle laborer. My goal today is not to get fired at the company lunch at a Short North establishment with an ampersand in its name.

ICYMI:

Programming Note: The disgusting Pittsburgh Penguins, holding the ominous 3-1 position, host the Columbus Blue Jackets in Game 5 at 7 p.m. ET on NHL and FSOH. Follow @1stOhioBattery on Twitter for up-to-the-minute updates and check out our sister site.

Word of the Day: Perfidy.

 WHAT WEBBS WE WEAVE. Ohio State is losing three defensive backs to the NFL Draft. Kerry Coombs remains unconcerned with cornerback depth, saying Wednesday they have the most depth since he's been here. I DIG THE BOLD FLAVORS, KERRY.

Safety is a different equation. Gone is Malik Hooker, while Damon Webb, Erick Smith, and Jordan Fuller vie to fill two positions.

Webb wasn't as bad as his detractors made him out to be, but there's no question he looked like a liability at times. Despite the seniority, I wouldn't have been surprised if Smith or Fuller replaced him.

But Webb apparently locked down his position this spring.

From Eric Seger of Eleven Warriors, whom you should follow on Twitter:

That's big news for the Silver Bullets. Erick Smith flashed during limited playing time, and Jordan Fuller is a fluid athlete who makes an intriguing "Next Malik Hooker" prediction. They were both capable before a former NFL head coach took over the reins of the defense.

Couple that with the defensive line and I'm almost starting to feel bad for guys who get paid millions of dollars to score on the local defense.

 LET ME HOLD A TICKET, MIKEY. The San Antonio Spurs lead the Memphis Grizzlies 2-0 in the opening round of the NBA playoffs. Pivotal Game 3 tips off tonight in the Grindhouse at 9:30 p.m. ET on TNT.

Thanks to the philanthropy of Mike Conley, there will be 500 Grizzlies fans who will attend the game for free.

From nba.com:

Memphis Grizzlies guard Mike Conley has purchased 500 tickets to Game 3 vs. San Antonio on Thursday, April 20 at FedExForum as a way to thank Grizz Nation for their tremendous support throughout the 2016-17 season that saw the franchise’s seventh straight postseason appearance. The tickets will be given away by Conley immediately after practice, starting at approximately 12:30 p.m. on Wednesday, April 19 in the Grand Lobby at FedExForum on a first-come, first-served basis (limit two tickets per person).

Only thing for Conley left to do now is mess around and get a triple-double.

 BURROW HURT BY BOMB. ICYMI: Large human Cardale Jones can still chuck the ol' pigskin. Here he is effortlessly winning the longest throw contest flat-footed during halftime of the spring game:


Trying your hardest to master your craft only to watch somebody nonchalantly shit on you is basically every day at the office for me. Joe Burrow, low key one of the funniest guys on the team, now knows those feels.

From 247sports.com:

"It kind of hurt my feelings," Burrow said in jest following the game. "He’s probably 50 pounds heavier than I am and probably could have thrown it further if he wanted to, but I don’t think he wanted to embarrass me too bad. I don’t think he warmed up either."

Jones tosses the ball 66 yards from the end zone with ease, while Burrow managed an announced 64 yards and Haskins 63.

"It’s not too shabby," Burrow said of his attempt, "but Cardale probably could have thrown it 80."

Hey, at least Burrow won't have to compete with him until the Buffalo Bills draft him in the first half of the 2018 NFL Draft.

 KIFFIN FED UP. Nick Saban reaming Lane Kiffin was the apotheosis of hilarity during the Saban-Kiffin marriage destined for divorce court.

Because Kiffin is somehow easier to dislike than Saban, we laughed despite that 90% of us would fake our own deaths if our bosses ever flexed on us in public like that.

As it turns out, Kiffin didn't enjoy it, and he makes a point not to operate that way with his coaches.

From coachingsearch.com:

But Kiffin joined SiriusXM College Sports Nation on Tuesday and was asked if he plans to blow up on his assistants like what would happen to him.

“No, that’s not really how I do it. Greg (McElroy) knows about those,” Kiffin said, laughing. “Those things come up, and everybody has different ways of dealing with them. It’s just not really how I do it. I’m not really big on humiliating assistant coaches in front of everybody. I write down notes. In the staff meeting, I explain what we want to get done.”

Saban would describe those situations as “an ass-chewing.”

As it turns out, even Kiffin's players laughed at his misery. Here's future NFL and former Tide linebacker Jonathan Allen detailing the defense's main goal of practice: trolling Saban into yelling at Kiffin.

From cbssports.com:

"Coach Kiffin, he gets real competitive so he tries to scheme us a little bit, but feel like we do a good job," Allen said. "As a defense, you try to get Coach Saban mad at him and try to get him yelled at in practice."

[...]

“It was just during (drills),” Allen responded. “We would just try to blow it up and just destroy it and kill the offense and then you would know Kiffin’s just…gonna get it, after you just blow it up in the backfield. That’s probably the most fun we had at Alabama during practice this year, just watching Coach Saban lay into Kiffin.”

Hard to see why a team with that kind of camaraderie fell short of a championship.

 BUDDA SMASH. Louis Riddick of ESPN did that thing pundits do where the give an opinion. He prefers LSU safety Jamal Adams over Malik Hooker.

This amused Hooker: 

Washington safety Budda Baker then came through with some pertinent advice for us all:

If Budda is Malik's boy, then he's my boy too. Hooker and Baker to the Browns, please: 

Looks like the start of a Super Bowl run to me.

 THOSE WMDs. In Las Vegas, the drinks flow less freely... Thousands of Massachusetts drug cases to be dismissed after lab scandal... I'm a victim of tax season cybercrime... The blood of the crab... YouTube has a fake Peppa Pig problem... Covering and consuming the NFL.

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