Game Day Skull Session: Get Dumped Then, Maryland

By D.J. Byrnes on November 12, 2016 at 4:59 am
November 12th 2016 is a bad day to be a Maryland Terrapin.
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Ah, it's the annual Saturday traditionalist Ohio State fans love to know: The one where their school's football team faces off against a four-loss team with a turtle as a mascot.

The only turtles I recognize live in a sewer, fight crime, and train in karate under a sensei who is also a rat. 

There are only five positive things to say about Maryland on a day:

  • It's not Rutgers.
  • The Wire.
  • It gave Penn State a natural rival.
  • It hosts the Naval Academy.
  • Its government was smart enough not to secede during the Civil War despite large swaths of its population thinking slavery was actually cool and good and demanding it join a rebellion doomed to failure.

If you think eating crabs scraped from the disgusting-ass Atlantic Ocean is good, please move to Maryland and never talk to me or my mediocre son ever again.

Maryland may not be Rutgers, but its elders still watched Urban Meyer napalm Michigan's defense in 2015 and said, "We gotta get the guy who masterminded that disaster!"

The Terrapins will never be elite, but at least those Big Ten checks cashed and rescued them from bankruptcy. They did bring valuable East Coast TVs, though, which is grand until the sports-cable bubble bursts.

At least their players get to play in front of a sold-out stadium for the first time since 2014.

Today's slate is bad. USC at Washington should be fun, though.

11/12 SLATE
TIME (ET) MATCHUP FAVORITE TELEVISION
12:00 BAYLOR at No. 11 OKLAHOMA OU (-18) ESPN2
12:00 MISSISSIPPI STATE at No. 1 ALABAMA BAMA (-28½) ESPN
12:00 No. 16 WEST VIRGINIA at TEXAS UT (-1½) FS1
12:00 No. 10 PENN STATE at INDIANA PSU (-7½) ABC
3:30 No. 9 AUBURN at GEORGIA AUB (-10) CBS
3:30 PITTSBURGH at No. 2 CLEMSON CLEM (-21½) ABC
3:30 GEORGIA TECH at No. 14 VIRGINIA TECH TECH (-14½) ESPNU
3:30 ILLINOIS at No. 7 WISCONSIN UW (-25) ESPN2
3:30 TEXAS TECH at No. 13 OKLAHOMA STATE OSU (-12½) FS1
7:00 No. 24 LOUISIANA STATE at No. 25 ARKANSAS LSU (-6½) ESPN
7:00 WAKE FOREST at No. 6 LOUISVILLE UL (-35½) ESPN2
7:30 No. 20 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA at No. 4 WASHINGTON UW (-8½) FOX
8:00 No. 3 MICHIGAN at IOWA UM (-22½) ABC
10:00 No. 12 COLORADO at ARIZONA UC (-16) FS1
10:30 CALIFORNIA at No. 23 WASHINGTON STATE WSU (-15½) ESPN

Would be hilarious to see Iowa dump Michigan, but I'm not betting on it. I think the Wolverines put a clown suit on the Hawkeyes. 

 THE TERRAPIN DOSSIER. Here's everything you need to know about Maryland:

Also be sure to follow @11W, @EricSeger33, @TimShoemaker, @AndrewMLind and @Edge11W on Twitter for up-to-the-minute analysis.

 #PERTINENTWIRE. Sorry, Maryland fans, it's a new age in Baltimore. You just don't know it yet.

SCORE PREDICTION: 42-10, Buckeyes.

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