Skull Sesssion: Ohio State's All-Century Team, Urban Meyer's Versatile Y-Cross, and Nick Bosa Wants a Snake

By D.J. Byrnes on July 15, 2016 at 4:59 am
Kerry Coombs is on patrol for the July 15th Skull Session
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Hang on tight, folks! One more week of #offseason before Big Ten Media Days, which marks the beginning of the 2016 season. We're almost there, so let's bong a FourLoko to solidify our constitution for this final stretch of hellscape.

This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:

 AHOY, TALENT. The great thing about being an Ohio State fan is the Buckeyes drip talent. This has been true as long as I remember, even during the "lean" years of John Cooper. (Michigan fans would crawl over 300 yards of broken glass for such bliss.)

Eligibility limits are fickle, but what if they didn't exist after 2000? Well, Ohio State's team might look like this.

From ESPN.com:

POSITION OFFENSE POSITION DEFENSE POSITION SPECIAL TEAMS
QB TROY SMITH DL JOEY BOSA K MIKE NUGENT
RB EZEKIEL ELLIOTT DL WILL SMITH CAMERON JOHNSTON
RB BEANIE WELLS DL VERNON GHOLSTON KR TED GINN JR.
WR MICHAEL JENKINS DL JOHNATHAN HANKINS    
WR SANTONIO HOLMES LB A.J. HAWK    
TE BEN HARTSOCK LB JAMES LAURINAITIS    
OL LeCHARLES BENTLEY LB RYAN SHAZIER    
OL TAYLOR DECKER DB MIKE DOSS    
OL JACK MEWHORT DB MALCOLM JENKINS    
OL PAT ELFLEIN DB CHRIS GAMBLE    
OL NICK MANGOLD DB BRADLEY ROBY    
AP BRAXTON MILLER        

It's... Hold on, I need a minute to collect myself... It's... It's... It's beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At first, the number of Jim Tressel recruits surprised me. That was before I remembered Tressel was at Ohio State twice as long as Urban Meyer.

And the only swap I might make is Cameron Johnston with Andy Groom, despite my bigotry against non-Australian punters. I remember fretting about replacing Groom, which may have been the peak experience of the Tressel era (outside, you know, Tresselizing the 2002 Miami team).

 THE Y-CROSS. Here is a simple, effective play Urban Meyer runs that he lifted from me during my time as a renowned offensive coordinator on the NCAA Football franchise.

From coachescollaborate.com:

The Y Cross has been a staple of the air raid offense developed by Hal Mumme and Mike Leach. Today, many spread teams have used this concept as a staple of their offense. The great thing about this play is it has options for every possible defense and can be run from mostly any formation or personnel group. Ohio State has been very successful with the Y cross play since Urban Meyer has been the head coach. Here are a few examples of Y Cross that Ohio State used again Hawaii:

 

This first clip is from a Flex Formation. The QB's first read is to take a peak at the skinny post run by the #1 WR. If Safety plays low, the QB can take a shot over his head or if it's a single safety he can peak at the post. Once he is off the post, the QB then looks for the slot coming across the field. His aiming point is 22 yards on the opposite sideline but he can settle in a window between LB's. QB does a great job of delivering the ball right into the open window. If the Slot was covered because of LB's getting depth and closing the window, the QB would then come back to the RB in the flat here. The option fake does a great job of pulling the LB into the run game to allow the slot behind him.

I look forward to this season when Meyer runs this play 1,000 times in a row against Michigan, causing their coach to unplug the modem.

 BOSA LAUGHS IN THE FACE OF DEATH. We all know the Bosas' idea of a balanced breakfast is a bowl of nails washed down with a protein shake. 

Nick Bosa's latest idea, however, is insane even for a Bosa:

There is no reason to own a snake unless you live in a rat-infested crack house. Even if you're on that rung of life (which I've been, so I'm not judging), just go and get a cat or five like I did. They will at least pretend to love you and only think about killing you.

Perhaps this is a psychological ploy from Bosa. In a blind test of strength, I'd rather fight the man who doesn't own a snake than the man that does.

A man that owns a snake? You have no idea what's going on in a head like that. (This is the logic of my home defense system. If a man owns three cats, there's no telling what else is inside that castle. I have suffered zero home invasions.)

 TWO SLUGS. Apparently, there's a paternity dispute in the Harbaugh family, and Jim is consulting a powerful sperm shaman residing in Disneyland:

I know that Harbaugh look. It's the same look I had when I woke up shirtless from a nap on a Montréal park bench with a lovely Vietnamese couple next to me enjoying cigarettes next.

 NAH, BRO. Are the pee wee leagues hiring or something?

Just kidding. Art Briles should never coach again, and any team that hires him is a joke.

 THOSE WMDs. Pokémon Go connects us to our city and neighbors... The Takeover: How police ended up running a pedophile site... Larry the Cat remains calm among British political upheaval... More than one million OxyContin pills ended up in the hands of addicts and criminals.

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