Thanksgiving Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on November 26, 2015 at 4:59 am
Ezekiel Elliott ends Michigan. #BeatMichigan
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It goes without saying, but I'm going to say it anyway: Condolences to the family of Austin Singletary. I cannot fathom suffering such a loss, let alone at this time of year.

Ohio State says it will "work to end" Mirror Lake, and that's hard to argue. I'm a three-time Mirror Lake veteran, but the writing was always on the wall, and it's unfortunate it ultimately took a death to do what probably should've been done a long time ago.

11Wer NeilWoodgables said a fitting tribute to Austin, a site leader for Social Change OSU at Eastgate Elementary, would be to replace the jump with an event in his honor centered around community service and philanthropy.

If you're looking for an argument to that, it won't come from me.

 MEET BENEDICT ARNOLD. Let Michigan fans tell it, and Ohio is the "worst state ever." It's an interesting thesis considering Ohio produces the lifeblood that fuels Michigan football.

We all know the lists of usual suspects — Charles Woodson being the most notorious — but treachery has an origin.

And for that, we go back to the year of Dankey Kang, 1890.

From bcsn.tv:

Prettyman not only endures as the only three-time captain in Michigan history. The son of a farmer born in Stryker and raised in Bryan was the first Ohioan to play for the Wolverines. 

He would hardly be the last. 

In fact, the next border-crossing lettermen also hailed from northwest Ohio — Tiffin lineman Alex Kiskadden (1886) and Toledo halfback Lawrence Grosh (1890) — as did the first Ohioan to play for Michigan against Ohio State. On Oct. 16, 1897, William Baker, a tackle from Woodville, helped Michigan beat the Buckeyes 34-0. 

Jokes aside: How do Michigan fans deal what must be crippling cognitive dissonance of hating Ohio but literally needing the state's talent to be good? It explains a lot when you ponder on it. 

 IS MICHIGAN BEING GOOD, WELL, GOOD? For the first time since Jim Tressel crushed the Wolverines like a 60-hour-a-week factory worker bonging a Busch Light on a Browns game day, Michigan football can't be described as a laughing stock. It's bizarre, but ultimately, is it good?

From wsj.com:

But some Ohio State fans have been waiting for Michigan’s ascendance. David Schultz, a local UPS driver, thought about whether he would root for the Wolverines against any team but Ohio State while standing in his usual spot on Woody Hayes Drive that morning. Surrounded by the bare necessities for a daylong tailgate here—miniature Big Ten helmets, handcrafted wooden dolls for every Ohio State coach, enough beer to sedate a hippopotamus—Schultz came to a wildly different conclusion from Blackburn’s. He couldn’t understand why Buckeyes fans would ever want their rival to be irrelevant.

“I think those people are stupid,” he said.

What makes this split even more perplexing is how extreme the opinions are. The diehards on one side of the argument believe the other half is dead wrong. “It seems right down the middle,” said Jason Priestas, the founder and publisher of the Ohio State website Eleven Warriors. “Half the people want Michigan to be terrible, go 0-12 every year and have Ohio State beat them 100 straight years. The other half wants Michigan to do well, add spice to the rivalry and have Ohio State still beat them.”

When your boss is out here randomly dropping quotes in The Wall Street Journal, that automatically qualifies you for a 7% raise, right? Asking for me, specifically.

As for Michigan being respectable again: It's refreshing.

 ON CURRENT CRITICISM. There are two ways to react to Ohio State losing. One is to realize while it sucks it's ultimately one minor step back in your lifelong journey as an Ohio State fan.

The other is to get mad online and call for the offensive coordinator to be arrested by sunrise. 

Unfortunately for Tim Beck's family, its beloved patriarch became Buckeye fans' scapegoat when Cardale Jones got benched.

Beck is a co-coordinator (though the one without a still-glistening championship ring); the offensive is comprised of 11 players, and all other offensive assistants (and Urban) have a hand in producing the ultimate product.

So I'll never be one of those guys peddling cheap Tim Beck jokes for RTs whenever Ohio State suffers a three and out.

This isn't to say Beck is without blame, however.

From omaha.com:

When Tim Beck was offensive coordinator at Nebraska, criticism noticeably bothered him. The flak he took last year — and rightfully so — after the Huskers barely escaped an upset by McNeese State sent him into hiding.

His offensive players dutifully did interviews after games and practices in his absence, but the $750,000-a-year coach couldn’t take it. A full month passed after the McNeese game before he took another question.

Beck was nowhere to be found after Ohio State's offensive goose egg, and on one hand I understand it. These guys work insane hours to craft elaborate game plans only to have it go up in flames in front of millions of people (that think they know better than them). 

Hell, there are days I don't read comments because I don't feel like risking a commenter kicking me in the dick over an elementary-level grammar gaffe in an article on which I worked three hours.

But Tim Beck makes a lot more money than me. A lot more people are interested in his thoughts and decisions.

He could end a lot of criticism by just being open with the media.

And for all the criticism of Ezekiel Elliott this past week, nobody said Tim Beck – salaried unit leader – should've been out there taking bullets. Makes you think, for sure.

Fans can and will take their cheap shots, but at the end of the day there's a reason Urban hired him. Maybe Meyer made a mistake (it wouldn't be the first), but something flashed in that interview.

My advice to Beck (lol) would be to open up to the media. Not speaking in times of turbulence compounds the problem and the headaches.

 #BEATMICHIGANMEMORIES. When I think of the most refreshing victory over Michigan, I harken back to 2006. No. 1 vs. No 2! Does it get any better, baby? 

The answer is yes, but not when it comes to sports.

Closing thought: You know what'd be a game-changer? If a game of football only took an hour and a half.

 THOSE WMDs. A great spiciness scale...  Walmart keeps an eye on its massive workforce... Indestructible water bears have a weird genome... Barcelona isn't playing... Macy's Thanksgiving parade balloons used to be creepy... Ancient Chinese ginkgo tree drops golden leaves.

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