Monday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on May 4, 2015 at 4:59 am
King Cardale
via @CJ12_
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ICYMI: Urban flipped another one; Baltimore's Kareem Felder, a three-star CB, flipped from Virginia Tech to the good guys last night.

LAX OFF TO FIGHT EVIL POWERS. Both the men's and women's teams came up short in the Big Ten championships this weekend, but they did dump Maryland, which is nice.

Beating the respected Terps may have been the final bit of business the Bucks needed to fall on the right side of the NCAA Tournament chopping block.

People say sports aren't connected to morality — and they're right — but damn if I don't see two battles of good vs. evil:

  • Women play Notre Dame (in Evanston) this weekend, time and date TBA.
  • Men play at Duke on Saturday at 7:30 p.m.

I also like this video of the women's team, sans television, reacting to the news they made the big tournament:

Is this the happiest video to ever come out of an American rest stop? I vote yes.

2016 COULD BE KINDER TO THE BUCKEYES. It was weird to see teams like Miami — 2014 record: 6-7 — produce  a stream of draft picks while a guy like Mike Bennett was waiting by his phone.

(According to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, two NFL reps called Bennett "undersized" and "overhyped." Unless Bennett killed a man, or there was an unknown medical issue, other teams must've agreed. Let's just say, as a Browns fan, I'm glad he at least didn't land in the AFC North.) 

It's almost inevitable that the 2016 NFL Draft will be kinder to Ohio State's #brand and more reflective of the talent Urban Meyer cultivated in the short time since his arrival.

One of those "Way Too Early" hustles — this one by SB Nation's Dan Kadar — lists Joey Bosa as the No. 1 overall pick.

PICK TEAM PLAYER
No. 1 TITANS JOEY BOSA
No. 6  BROWNS KING CARDALE
No. 11 BEARS EZEKIEL ELLIOTT
No. 12 CHIEFS TAYLOR DECKER

I am going to go back and forth on the Browns drafting Cardale about 100 times between now and next year's draft. On one hand, Cardale to Cleveland is the stuff dreams of which dreams are made.

On the other, it's a thin line between Heaven and Hell. I cringe to think of how the bitterly fanatic wing of #BrownsKingdom would treat Cardale if he, you know, didn't win them six straight Super Bowls.

I will, however, be shocked if Michael Thomas isn't taken in the first round. 

LONG LIVE THE TROLL SULTAN. Speaking of the Iron King, Cardale Jones, First of His Name, Poacher of Badgers, Controller of Tides, Slayer of Ducks, Troll Sultan, and 12th Son of Ohio: Cardale reminded everyone last Friday why he earned the title "the Troll Sultan."

Now, there were two way to react to this harmless, five-minute-long prank: 1) like a person with a semblance of a sense of humor or 2) like a troglodyte.  

From Tony Gerdeman of TheOzone.net:

But not everybody found the joke funny. Some went back to the first time they read a Cardale Jones tweet and assumed no lessons had been learned. As if having a bit of fun here has done some harm to anybody in any way.

Sports are supposed to be fun and if we are so against professionalizing college athletes, we should support a little bit of personality shining through every now and again.

Jones has made headlines a few times with his tweets now, but shouldn't his play on the field be the real news? While fans applaud him for what he does as a college football player, I will applaud him for what he does as a college student.

This is the worst feature of Cardale's gallant return to Columbus. Real Serious People© critiquing the King's every move like he's on trial for embezzling from a charity.

(Judging from the header pic, Cardale's Chipotle-based diet seems to be serving him well. Plus, Internet Man, I think Ohio State pays guys to worry about things like that.)

PSA: Since September 2009, I've made over 50,000 tweets. They're all terrible, and I regret every one of them. Don't tweet, ever. Just don't do it. 

 YIKES. The federal government investigated Ohio State for Title IX violations, but they were cleared. And then...

From Collin Binkley and John Futty of Dispatch.com:

In an April 15 letter to the U.S. Department of Education, leaders at Ohio State University said they were making strides in preventing sexual assaults in the OSU marching band.

Two days later, a student reported to police that she had been raped by the band’s drum-major instructor.

[...]

Experts said the new allegation could renew attention from the federal government, too.

My official take:

life.gif


(No, my mentioning of a real life news story doesn't give you the right to dispense a political hot take in the comments.)

BUCKEYES ARE LEGION. I don't really mess with New York City because it's overcrowded, overpriced, and I've never felt the need to tell strangers "I live in the Big Apple." (Besides: "I'm from the City of Kings." > "I live in a Park Slope closet and eat soil.")

But people with Ohio State connections choose that life, and that's fine. That's what the New York Yankees are banking on, after all.

From Jesse Lawrence of Forbes.com:

While some might wonder why the Yankees are doing this in the first place, they can look no further than “The Boss” himself, the late, great George Steinbrenner, who had a lot of ties to the Buckeyes. Steinbrenner grew up in Rocky River, Ohio, and he, along with his sons who currently reside over the team, were big OSU fans over the years. In addition, Steinbrenner attended Ohio State, where he earned his Masters of Arts degree, and was stationed in Columbus while in the Air Force. Furthermore, he also served as a graduate assistant under legendary football head coach Woody Hayes.

It’s also a very wise idea initiated by the Yankees, who apparently realize the rooting interests of the significantly large Buckeyes fan base from within the tri-state area. According to the New York Times’ “College Football Fan Map,” in the majority of areas hovering around the Bronx, the Buckeyes are consistently ranked amongst the three most popular collegiate teams. For instance, in zip codes 10452 and 10456 surrounding Yankee Stadium, Ohio State football accounts for six and seven percent of the overall college football fan base, respectively. By comparison, the only two colleges ahead of them in these geographic fandom rankings are the Florida Gators and Syracuse Orange, who each draw approximately eight and nine percent, respectively

TIL: George Steinbrenner served as a graduate assistant under Woody Hayes. It all makes sense now, but Derek Jeter was still overrated as hell.

#PHENOMENALSWAG. Shoutout to this remix on an old classic:

THOSE WMDs. Uh oh, Bulls... Meet the PPV cops... Tony Allen is too real... First cast photo from 2016's Suicide Squad... Chipotle reveals its guacamole secrets... Death, Lawrence Phillips, and the unbeatable Huskers squad... How long until we get the Horseshoe cracking like this?

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