Folks, we start with the most somber correction I've ever issued:
@marion_ohio I don't mean to rain on your parade but that is Curtis Grant giving that speech I'm pretty sure
— Jakob Thais (@jakobthais) February 12, 2015
You see how Jakob did me there? He ruined not only my parade, but my entire day. (Alas, my man is correct.) While I regret the error, I stand by fealty to King Dolodale.
As you start your day today: Keep Ohio State football players in your thoughts and prayers. Today is apparently Mickey Marotti's famed "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" workout. (If there's anybody that could make me wish I were an executed Chicago gangster, it's Mickey Marotti.)
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS: Drake's newest mixtape, If You're Reading This It's Too Late, which he dropped (unexpectedly!?) last night.
[ED NOTE: They removed the mixtape!!!!!]
Here's a #Drake #take from a man who hasn't trimmed his beard in a month: This mixtape gets a mere two-and-a-half Posh Meeches (h/t Cinserious) from me, but keep in mind Drake's never been my cup of malt liquor. (And no, I ain't hating on the man.)
URBAN MEYER CHATS WITH OHIO HIGH SCHOOL COACHES. One of my favorite Urban things is when he interjects moments of deep candor between bits of coach-speak.
Here's Urban speaking at the Ohio High School Football Coaches' clinic, via Steve Helwagen of OhioState.247Sports.com:
“In 2013, we start out 12-0. But then we go against (Michigan State), which was either equal or had a little bit more talent than we had. “I knew for a fact we were going to have to go do something to try and win this game because we were not operating at maximum capacity. There were units on that team that weren’t good enough. We lost the last two games of the 2013 season, and we had to go and fix that.
“You can say we lost that (MSU) game because I made a bad call and ran the quarterback on fourth down. That’s what everybody said. That’s not why we lost that game. We lost that game because when I put my arm up and said, ‘1-2-3, showtime!’ I only felt six hands on my arm (symbolically). That means three units on our team weren’t operating at full capacity.
“We had go, rip open the hood and find out why these units weren’t operating at full capacity.”
No, the notion Ohio State's defense wasn't up to snuff isn't ground-breaking news. (I assume Meyer was referencing the play of the linebackers, the cornerbacks, and safeties.)
But I think a lot of coaches struggle with self-assessment — look at Brady Hoke bleating, "This is fine, actually" as his Vespa toppled to the earth — and Urban's honesty with himself (and his staff) is one of his greatest management talents.
It'd have been easy to be satisfied with 24-2. Hell, 24-2 might get you a statue at a place like Michigan these days.
But, I suppose it's like patriot Cardale Jones declared in 1776, "Anything easy ain't worth a damn."
COOMBS COLLECTS 'CROOTIN TITLE . Speaking of 2013 when Ohio State's defense sprang some leaks down the stretch, does anyone else remember the small but vocal minority of fans who grumbled Kerry Coombs was all hat and no cattle?
Those were amusing days, short as they were. Anyway, Rivals named Kerry Coombs its Big Ten Recruiter of the Year yesterday.
From Josh Helmholdt of Rivals.com:
It may sound like an easy task to recruit to the defending national champions, but Coombs did most of his work in the 2015 class before the Buckeyes made their run through the postseason and hoisted the national championship trophy. Coombs, Ohio State's cornerbacks coach, did his most impressive work in the Buckeyes' archrival's backyard, landing three-star defensive lineman Joshua Alabi and Rivals100 running back Mike Weber from Detroit Cass Tech. He landed another Rivals100 prospect in linebacker Justin Hilliardfrom familiar territory in Cincinnati -- where he spent 16 years as a head coach at Colerain High. Of course, Coombs also had a hand in the majority of Ohio State's defensive back signings, most notably playing a part in three-star Damon Arnette flipping from South Carolina two days before National Signing Day.
That's quite the diamond mining by Coombs, but it's unsurprising productivity for a man whose heart pumps 0-calorie Red Bull.
ACCUSATIONS OF OVERSIGNING IN COLUMBUS. One Reddit man (redundant, I know) is convinced Ohio State is oversigning.
Again: Unless Ohio State has a fleet of doctors misdiagnosing injuries as career-ending — which I highly highly highly highly highly doubt — then I don't have a problem with Meyer's roster management. If this means I now support "oversigning," then whatever, throw a lil' hot sauce on that bullet, and I'll dine on it without protest.
WELL, $15 IS LESS THAN $20. Remember last year when Ohio State charged $20 for spring game tickets and everybody went ballistic and Ohio State caved? Well, BuckeyeSports.com's Ryan Ginn pointed this out last night:
Now listed on Ticketmaster... looks like Ohio State spring game tickets will be $5/15. #Buckeyes pic.twitter.com/5yz1yw9JVl
— Ryan Ginn (@RyanGinnBSB) February 13, 2015
Makes you think, for sure. (The spring game, by the way, is on April 18th.)
LIL DAMON WEBB WASN'T ONE FOR A SMILE. The one benefit to being born in 1986 — other than living through the greatest decade in human history, the 1990s — is that 98% of my "lil kid" photos aren't posted online. (I think it'd be creepy if I could watch myself grow up over an Instagram feed. After all, being a baby/toddler is my life's biggest regret.)
Thankfully for us (and Damon Webb), however, Damon Webb is much younger than me.
#tbt It was always a struggle getting him to smile. I had to threaten him for this photo. This the outcome @DameWebb pic.twitter.com/YEQvdW0SAy
— Stephanie Webb (@ProfessorSWebb) February 12, 2015
God bless lil' Damon Webb.
THOSE WMDs. It's like Omar Little said: You come at King Dolodale, you best not miss... Ohio reaches $949 million in liquor sales... The Miseducation of Deion Sanders... Gucci Mane is inspiration... New Instagram celebrates basic literacy in men... Dan Gilbert didn't like a blog post, so Yahoo! removed it... How a woman ruined her life with one dumb tweet... Man uses Oompa Loompas and Beyonce to troll strangers... Why do male lions have manes?
