The Dry Goods' latest product — the "That's Ohio's Moon" t-shirt — is my favorite 11W product yet. If you want in, you better order sooner than later, because my friends are gobbling them up like a drunken freshman gobbles a Caniac.
This week's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGERS:
- Marlo dismantles The Co-Op.
- John Oliver on corporations on Twitter.
- One of my favorite Wire scenes: Slim Charles executes Cheese.
RUTGERS' EBOLA FEARS. So, you may have heard about Ebola... a disease that has yet to kill as many Americans this year as vending machines. People are freaking out, because people love freaking out about stupid stuff that will never affect them. (Sorry, people freaking out about Ebola, your lives are not interesting enough to include Ebola.)
But it appears Rutgers coach Kyle Flood is one of those people spending part of their life worrying about Ebola, because of course.
From Keith Sargeant of NJ.com:
"What I did is, I went online and did some of my own research just to see how it spreads and to educate the team, so we did a little bit of that this morning. I assured [the team] that the plane, when we get on it, will be sanitized and cleaned. From all the information I have, it's transferable through bodily fluids. It's not something you can get just by standing next to somebody.
"You gotta be careful. You gotta make sure your hands are clean, can't share drinks. We'll take all the necessary precautions. But it's not something that will distract us, either.''
I love the idea of a college coach sitting down at his computer and googling "Ebola facts." And not to nitpick, coach, but it looks like it's already distracted you.
I just hope Kyle Flood also googled "leprosy facts," because that's made a comeback in Ohio as well.
But hey, why risk it, Rutgers? Why stop at cleansing your plane and not sharing drinks? Just take a page out of this 100% sane woman's book:
Lady just chilling at Dulles in her homemade Hazmat suit pic.twitter.com/Ljlny8t4pr
— Joe Henchman (@jdhenchman) October 15, 2014
BUCKEYE FOOTBALL PAYS IT FORWARD. Paying it forward was one of Woody's commandments. It's something I've tried to apply in even the small ways my income allows, because when people do it for me — BuckeyeVet inspecting and fixing up my adopted stray cat at cost, for example — it's humbling. (And that's a good thing.)
So, as I get older, I'm learning to truly appreciate things like Ohio State's football team raising $10,000 for the fight against Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy:
It was an honor to present a check to our captain Jacob to raise awareness for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy pic.twitter.com/lRPFrNtF30
— Urban Meyer (@OSUCoachMeyer) October 16, 2014
You can read more about 14-year-old Jacob, an honorary captain for the Cincinnati game, at OhioStateBuckeyes.com.
And because it's Friday, and it's my "column," and I'M DARING SOMEBODY TO PICK A BONE WITH IT: here's Woody Hayes demanding that you (yes, YOU!) pay it forward:
SLAM THOMPSON IS A YOUNG PICASSO. Honestly, I would (maybe) kill a man for the ability to draw (or even use Illustrator like Walt the Boss). Sadly, there's an eternal disconnect between my hand and my brain when it comes to drawing.
Slam Thompson, however, looks to have a future in the art game once he's done dunking on fools:
This is awesome: @OhioStateHoops Sam Thompson drew, and autographed, this while I talked to Shannon Scott. pic.twitter.com/XMrutsobcb
— Brent Yarina (@BTNBrentYarina) October 16, 2014
Not sure why Shannon Scott is trying to block Slam Thompson, but then again I'm the same guy who thinks the Mona Lisa is a boring painting of a boring-looking woman. (Thanks to LWitters, I'm now paranoid about using hyphens. Pay attention in school, kids; I can't stress this enough.)
REAL LIFE WEDNESDAYS. Kyle Rowland (peace be upon him) wrote about Urban Meyer's "Real Life Wednesdays" last summer, but Ohio State's crack video team put together a nice diddy:
Love seeing this stuff from the team, because even for a team as stacked with talent as Ohio State, most of these guys won't play professionally. (And it's like Tom Herman said: a lot of teams only talk about it.)
LONG LIVE THE OL' BALL COACH. I know when I'm dying — when my last breaths are upon me — and my insignificant life is flashing before me that one of my life's biggest regrets will be failing to get hammered in some shitheel, smoke-filled bar with the Ol' Ball Coach:
Spurrier on Vandy: "They gave Charleston Southern fits. Beat them by one point."
— Heath Cline (@heathradio) October 16, 2014
Nobody slings that thunder like the OBC, and this is a guy who is coaching a midtable SEC team. Lord only knows how hilarious he'd be if his teams were winning something other than the Outback Bowl.
THOSE WMDs. Getting to know CBJ fan "Dancing Kevin," the NHL's best fan... Theory: NYC is a landing spot for many of the world's worst people... Michael Jordan being Michael Jordan... Eagles' Mark Sanchez gets paid to ride pine and eat chicken tenders... The bungled theft of a $6,000,000 violin... Ex-Gamecock QB Stephen Garcia on players taking cash: "I saw it every day."
