Happy Birthday, America!!! You don't look a day over 200.
Today's NSFW ANTI-WORK #BANGER is an American motion picture classic [sic]: "Waffle House fight Between Hoodrats on brice in columbus ohio"
Take a bow, George Washington. Take. A. Bow.
MR. ELLIOT IS A STRAIGHT BOSS. Ezekiel Elliot is a player expected to do big things next season, but did you know his father, Stacy, is putting in work for the set as well? Apparently he was present at Justin Hilliard's commitment ceremony, and it wasn't by coincidence.
From Ari Wasserman of The Cleveland Plain Dealer:
If it were any other player's parent, it may have been strange to see them at another prospect's commitment ceremony. But this is Elliott, who is everywhere when it comes to Buckeyes recruiting.
Because Elliott has been appointed by Urban Meyer and his staff as a helper, someone they bring in when they host big-time recruits to talk to parents and give testimonials about Ohio State and how it handled the recruiting process.
"I didn't know that when I came to Columbus that coach Urban Meyer would ask me and my family to help," Stacy said. "It was not something I brought to him, but Coach Meyer and I have a developing relationship and that relationship is based on that I saw how much he cares about his student athletes."
I've bookmarked this story for the next time some idiot hack tries to pull another hatchet job on Urban Meyer.
JAMAL MARCUS FINDS A NEW HOME. Jamal Marcus went from "one of the most disruptive players on defense" to getting booted from the team (seemingly) overnight.
It appears, however, Jamal has found a new home:
Everything in life wether good or bad I feel are life lessons that god places on us to help us become better and wiser men and women. This fall I will be attending and playing football for The University of Akron. Blessed and thankful for the opportunity. Can't wait to give my all to this team and help get Akron football back on top. #Akronfootball #pissedoffforgreatness #onlymecanstopme
I was really looking forward to Jamal building on his monster Orange Bowl, but such is how the cookie crumbles. Best of luck to an obviously talented young man.
BRAXTON IS COMING Y'ALL. Please don't let Jameis Winston steal Archie Griffin's thunder, Braxton!
From Cameron Moon of The Cleveland Plain Dealer:
"If he makes the same strides he made year one to year two, year two to year three and this year, year four, he could have a great year," Meyer said. "He's not 100 percent, but he's close. Young quarterbacks want to look at everything but the coverage because it's so chaotic back there, but he's getting better and better at that."
Man, I hope Braxton can stay healthy this year. I think that's the only thing stopping him from shattering some single-season quarterback records.
EAST LANSING STAND UP. Do you know how stupid you have to be to call in a bomb threat, let alone get caught doing it? Allow me to demonstrate.
EAST LANSING, Mich. (WOOD) — Two people face charges in connection to a bomb threat at Spartan Stadium Wednesday, according to the Michigan State University Police Department.
Cynthia Marie Spade, 30, and Anthony Robert Shearer, 31, were charged Thursday with one felony count each of false report of a bomb threat.
[...]
Shearer’s bond was set at $75,000 and Spade’s at $50,000. Both were taken to the Ingham County Jail.
I have no problem believing this dynamic duo hails from Michigan:
The real bomb threat against Spartan Stadium won't come until November 8th.
URBZ AS A STRAPPING YOUNG STUD. via u/RebelNutt18, here's Ohio State's frontman as a lad at Cincinnati:
And yes, you could say his current tenure was prophesied long ago:
Maybe it's just me, but I think Urban needs to bring back that bitchin' mustache. When did he decide to get rid of it? Why? These are the questions that will keep me up even later than 3:38 AM.
(If old pictures of Big Ten coaches amuse you like they do me, here's a good source.)
THOSE WMDs. On July 29th, Warren G. Harding's love letters to his mistresses will hit these streets... Has a misplaced period in the transcription of the Declaration of Independence led to years of misunderstanding?... The perils of growing poppy for personal consumption... The Submarine Mechanic Who Blew Himself Up Then Surfaced as a Secret Agent... The Last American Man: He moved into the woods at 17 and hasn’t compromised since...
