Tuesday Skull Session

By D.J. Byrnes on May 27, 2014 at 6:00 am
University Hall, 1897 via The Ohio State Library
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My Memorial Day was spent reading Kingpin, the story about masterclass hacker Max Butler. Greed and ego are fickle mistresses, my friends.

That's why I start every day by looking in the mirror and reminding myself, "You ain't shit." (It also helps I'm not a criminal kingpin.)

BUCKEYES DISMISS TWO. Memorial Day weekend has been awful for footballers in recent years. Jim Tressel and the summer scholarships of Jake Stoneburner and Jack Mewhort are just a few to take the fall over weekends past.

Now, as Kyle reported yesterday, we can add Jamal Marcus and walk-on Brandon Ojikutu to the list. The two were dismissed due to the ominous "violations of team rules." 

The silver lining, if there is one, is this now brings Ohio State down to the required 82 scholarships. Regardless, I will miss Jamal Marcus; I always thought he was a beast. Best of luck, young fellah. 

TENNIS DUO FALLS SHORT. I am starting to fear Ohio State will never beat the SEC (who is apparently even running the baseball game these days) in a championship game. From OhioStateBuckeyes.com:

COLUMBUS, Ohio – A storybook finish for two Ohio natives ended just short on championship Monday as senior Peter Kobelt and redshirt junior Kevin Metka on the Ohio State men’s tennis team fell 6-7 (4), 7-6 (3), 6-7 (6) to second-seeded Hunter Reese and Mikelis Libietis of Tennessee in the final of the 2014 NCAA Men’s Division I Doubles Championship in Athens, Ga.

Three-time All-American Kobelt, a native of New Albany, Ohio, finishes his Ohio State career first on the doubles career wins list (142) and second on the combined (267). The 2014 ITA National Most Improved Senior, Kobelt’s 44 doubles wins this year ties the school record set by former Buckeye Chase Buchanan in 2012. Metka, a native of Worthington, Ohio, wraps up a breakout season with 43 doubles wins, which is tied for third on the single-season list.

“It’s tough,” Kobelt said. “They’re a good serving team. They showed why they are the best team in the country. They came up with plays at the end and did what they had to do. It’s disappointing, but it’s been a heck of a year and I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else. As a senior, it’s tough, but you can’t ask for much more than having a national championship match on your resume.”

BIG RECRUITING WEEKEND AHEAD. It's been a rough ride for OSU football in 2014, especially so on the recruiting front, but it appears Ohio State could be in for a bit of rejuvenation this weekend:

That's five-star defensive tackle Tim Settle and four-star offensive tackle Mathew Burrell, both are out of Virginia.

Settle's 24/7 crystal ball profile favors to Alabama (35%), but Burrell's crystal ball profile is skewed heavy in Ohio State's favor (92%). I guess we'll find out how deep these broskeem's really run. 

THAT'S PRETTY SWEET, EL GUAPO. I wish NFL (and college) players were allowed to wear visors like these during games (via @AudyMatic52):

!

GET IT THEN, JERRY KILL. I've been a fan of Jerry Kill ever since his days at Southern Illinois. He's just a great human being, and I don't know if I've ever read a bad word about him on the internet.

On the other end of the love-loathe spectrum is Pharrell's "Happy." But, Jerry Kill is too great to even be ruined by "Happy."

The best is the academics in the background like, "Aw hell, we're really going to do this!?"

CARDALE JONES REALLY, REALLY WANTS (FEMALES) SNAPCHAT NAMES. Cardale Jones is easily my favorite guy on the team right now:

lmao

Like I said... he's the best. (And here's a link for you "WUT IS A SNAPCHAT?!" people.)

THOSE WMDs. Smug 1913 newspaper looks back on inferior 1891 athletes... Old-timers: Is this really how we washed cars in 1924?.... Mysterious 19th century tattoo artist, identified at last... I too would watch Ichiro clown Tommy Lasorda on cable... The wasteland that was once America's largest mall... Finger wrestling championships... This father tried to convince his kid to rob banks with him... Who gave this snapping turtle a beer?... Two jack-asses got married over the weekend... 

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