Prediction: The Browns Will Finish 19-0, Super Bowl Champions

August 9, 2014 at 11:06a    by DJ Byrnes    
Chomps [Erik Drost, Flickr]
Chomps [Erik Drost, Flickr]

The Browns will kickoff their 2014 campaign — a campaign that will end with the Sleeve's first major sports championship since 1964 — tonight at 7:30 against the Detroit Lions.

Will Johnny Manziel be able to supplant Brian Hoyer beyond the occasional package? Did the Browns actually bumble and stumble their way into a solid coach in first-year frontman Mike Pettine? Will the Browns win every game by double digits?

These are just some of the questions burning through my mind as I sit on my couch wearing nothing but my Tim Couch jersey. (The only jersey I own, and the only article of clothing I'll be wearing until February.)

Beer we go, Brownies! Beer we go!


You can't spell chump without UM's picture

They'll actually go 23-0 because they'll now count preseason games as actual games and the 2014-15 Browns will be the single greatest force to walk the earth since the Romans. Johnny Manziel will scamper through on coming traffic, even completing a 99 yard touchdown pass to himself. He'll even be courteous enough to give his teammates a game off and he will play 11 on 1 and still bring home a victory as the dawg pound erupts for their new hero, the savior that only Lebron could have dreamed of being. Yes, Jonathan Pigskin is truly the past, present, and future of the city of Cleveland. 

Brady Hoke ate my comment

+3 HS
Groveport Heisman's picture

I just hope that grizzly bear named Suh doesnt pick lil Johnny up and sling him into the 4th row of the stands. Lets ease the little guy in.

Mark my words..I don't need acceptance. I'm catching interceptions on you innocent pedestrians.

+4 HS
dubjayfootball90's picture

Real pumped. I have a Winslow and Hillis browns jersey. My Hillis is Orange, ignorantly bright. I love wearing it in where I live in Pittsburgh.

You can feed a bobcat all the chili it wants. That don't mean it's going to crap out diamonds.

+3 HS
Hovenaut's picture

Automatic upvote for repping Ohio in Stillerland.

Would love, love to see the Browns season sweep their asses (since they're going undefeated and all, right?).

We have filled the Braxton Miller position.

dubjayfootball90's picture

I have a few bets saying that they will sweep. We will see, haha

You can feed a bobcat all the chili it wants. That don't mean it's going to crap out diamonds.

+1 HS
GlueFingers Lavelli's picture

I once bought my wife her first Browns jersey. It was one of those expensive fancy chic jerseys with the bedazzled collar. I got her an away Hillis jersey before week 1.... then the holdout/hamstring/illness happened. Worse than that I custom ordered an Owen Marecic jersey to compliment my wifes Hillis jersey. Worst 200+ bucks I've ever spent. Never again NFL, never again.  I'll stick with guys who are retired.

Dustin Fox was our leading tackler as a corner.... because his guy always caught the ball.

+1 HS
sharks's picture

Just pull the Couch name off that jersey and its resurrected.   #2 = Johnny Football

A man got to have a code...

+1 HS
Buckeyebrowny919's picture

True story. Had 4 jerseys and couldn't wear any of them. Finally just surgically removed the name off a brown and a white Jersey. 

To give anything less than your best, is to sacrifice the gift - Steve Prefontaine

11UrbzAndSpices's picture

Browns fans are so adorable, always the road to the Super Bowl, until it's the road to the Draft about a week later...

"Quit skipping leg day bro" - Dr James Andrews

-1 HS
ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

The Clowns will go 4-12 again because they suck. 

Class of 2010.

-2 HS
DJ Byrnes's picture

solid take here, showthem

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

GlueFingers Lavelli's picture

It could be worse, they could have signed Andy Dalton to a long term deal or drafted that upstanding Jeremy Hill kid.

Dustin Fox was our leading tackler as a corner.... because his guy always caught the ball.

+2 HS
buckeye4life050233's picture

as decent as the browns looked.  the second string offensive line scares me because any injuries to primary oline starters and hoyer or manziel are in serious trouble like last year

apack614's picture

Well.... All hopes are dashed already once again.. We Suck Again!

I can't wait to poop in the PL bathroom.