The World's Most Desperate Sharks Look For Signs of Buckeye Weakness

By Johnny Ginter on January 10, 2016 at 8:30 am
H E L P M E
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I need to preface this article by saying that I in no way am besmirching the fine tradition of schadenfreude that is the lifeblood of sports in general. There is no finer thing than watching a hated rival humiliate themselves on a large stage in the worst possible manner (as a Bengals fan, I hope that fans of literally every other professional team appreciate my team's massive contribution to this excellent tradition last night). Taking pleasure in the pain of others is really only socially acceptable when it comes to sports and whenever Osama bin Laden gets shot in the face, and it's our imperative to make sure that we live up to that obligation.

With that said, I want to gently address one of the more befuddling side effects of the large amount of Buckeye juniors leaving for potential NFL riches: incredibly smug Michigan fans.

Yeah, okay

To be fair, most Michigan fans have reacted to the likes of Vonn Bell, Darron Lee, Mike Thomas, and so on with a fairly large "Huh. Okay." which I feel is the appropriate response to Ohio State losing a lot of NFL Draft-eligible players. While it's true that 2016 is a rebuilding year for Ohio State, they're bringing in a top-ranked recruiting class, are coming off a momentum-building destruction of Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl, and are helmed by one of the greatest football coaches of all time. While a backslide from "almost perfect" is inevitable, it's also not likely to be nearly as severe as a lot of other people in the Big Ten hope that it will be.

That's the rational interpretation (which, again, most Michigan fans/observers buy into). A more pants-on-head crazy view, shared by a small but vocal and therefore much more entertaining group of Michigan fans, is that Urban Meyer, beset by health problems (both real and imagined), allegations of an affair, an addiction to pizza, overtures from the Cleveland Browns, and the massive guilt as having enabled and honestly-it-all-starts-to-come-together-if-you-think-about-it-abetted convicted murderer Aaron Hernandez as he went on a killing spree.

Urban Meyer and Ohio State are doomed, not because Michigan got better or smarter in any tangible way, but because they're actually so good that the players that took them to those heights want to actually get paid for the fruits of their labor. The lack of available talent has convinced some Wolverine fans that this is their time to shine, because now that Harbaugh is in charge, there is now nothing standing in the way of Big Ten domination.

It's silly and childish and because of that it's really kind of right up my alley, but there are two major reasons why that line of thinking is flawed and maybe a little sad.

First, it's important to note that in the past 10 years of the NFL Draft, Ohio State holds an advantage over Michigan in terms of players drafted in the first three rounds, 25-15. It's not a gigantic difference, but a significant one given that the 2016 NFL Draft will likely look a lot like the 2006 NFL Draft, where five Ohio State players were selected in the first round. Until the 2006 team famously imploded in their final game of the year, the evidence seems to be in favor of those Buckeyes (and several teams after them) sustaining their success fairly well in the face of significant losses to the NFL.

"We don't rebuild, we reload" has been repeated so many times by now that it's a cliche, but for elite programs like the Buckeyes it's usually pretty true. I say usually because I very vividly remember Lydell Ross, starting running back, but to say that Ohio State is subject to the same ebb and flow of college football market forces as, say, Rutgers might be, is straight up wrong. Meyer and company have built a team with surprising depth in a lot of key positions.

Sure, why not?

Michigan fans, for their part, have been conditioned to think that the loss of one excellent player on either side of the ball torpedoes their entire season. Missing the likes of a Denard Robinson, Devin Gardner, or Jake Ryan was often deadly for the Wolverines on one side of the ball or the other, so by their internalized logic, having so many juniors declare for the draft means that Ohio State will be lucky to win five or six games and lip their way into a pre-Christmas Bowl in Memphis or something.

Secondly, this counts as a win for Michigan. I know exactly how stupid that sounds, but try and transport your brain back to the 90s and the dark twisted world of John Cooper. If you were an Ohio State fan, you'd take any win over the Wolverines that you could get, even if it was the inevitable and easily prepared-for roster turnover that every single college coach in the entire country understands and prepares for.

Now imagine that for about half of this time period, Ohio State was unmitigated garbage. Just completely awful and painful to watch in every possible way. You'd kill for every scrap of positive news that you could get your grubby, malnourished hands on, and in this case that's taken the form of Michigan fans going on Twitter to insist that Urban Meyer has lost his locker room and is mere seconds away from a debilitating heart attack.

In the long run, it doesn't really matter what fans think about how a program is trending. A team is good because it has players and coaches that make it that way, not because of a fervent belief from their fanbase that may or may not be based in reality. But in the long, deep darkness of the offseason, please do not let anyone tell you that the parade of Buckeyes walking across the stage during the 2016 NFL Draft is anything but a sign that Ohio State remains one of the best and most relevant college football programs in the country.

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