It's that time we all know and love: Penn State fans' annual Twitter roast of a school from which, deep down, they desperately seek respect.
This is where Penn State fans remind us, "We do this for everyone!" As if Ohio State fans didn't invent that line to describe its level of animosity for non-rivals like Penn State.
Penn State fans inherently live in the past, so it's no surprise Cardale Jones' "We didn't come to play school!" decree emerged as a meme.
A couple others made me laugh. Most, however, need to be buried in an unmarked grave next to the Penn State–Temple tape.
To the Tweets:
J.T. Barrett and Cardele Jones cite Wikipedia #OhioStateHateWeek
— DJ Bennett (@DJRexyRex) October 16, 2015
Far be it from me to lambast anybody for duffing a name — but I've now imagined Cardele Jones as a Brazilian, and I want that man to exist as Ohio State's placement kicker.
Other than that — and yes, trolls, I get that this was the joke — everybody knows the hustle is to cite the articles cited in Wikipedia, not Wikipedia itself.
Urban Meyer's favorite Harry Potter character is Umbridge. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Steph Speicher (@Steph_Speicher) October 16, 2015
We can all agree Dolores Umbridge was bad. Steph earns high marks here for an obscure Harry Potter reference. A simpler person would've went with somebody like Lord Voldermort.
Urban Meyer cried when Zayn left one direction #OhioStateHateWeek
— JJ (@jenna_jester) October 16, 2015
The question is who didn't cry when Zayn left One Direction?
Urban Meyer is still using Windows Vista #OhioStateHateWeek
— Cory Gehr (@corygehr) October 16, 2015
I once heard Urban Meyer describe FaceTime as if it was witchcraft, so this is probably true.
Ohio went to war with Michigan over the city of Toledo. No one was killed. Just let that sink in for a minute. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Daryl Stoltzfus (@DerailPSU) October 16, 2015
Toledo has its detractors, of which I'm not one. Still, I fail to see how Ohio punking Michigan for a port city without spilling a drop of blood was bad.
J.T. Barret watches Happy Days with his father, Urban Meyer #OhioStateHateWeek
— Brandon Fortin (@bran4tin) October 16, 2015
I reported this man's anti-Fonzi slander for Spam. I suggest you do the same.
Remember when that OSU geezer told me I was throwing my money away going to PSU and I flipped on him hahahahaha #OhioStateHateWeek
— Sarah (@sfc5087) October 16, 2015
And that boss probably reacted like this:
Cardale Jones can't even spell his own name correctly. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Kevin (@K_Cyl) October 16, 2015
That's not why they call him the Troll Sultan, Kevin.
Urban Meyer wants to play one week fantasy football, but doesn't know where to do it #OhioStateHateWeek
— Matt Glynn (@matt_glynn) October 16, 2015
People complaining about the ubiquity of DFS ads have almost become as bad as the ads themselves, but this one made me laugh.
Urban Meyer prints out his MapQuest directions #OhioStateHateWeek
— Kenneth Moore (@whatmoorekenIdo) October 16, 2015
Kenneth did well here. As an aside: Kids these days will never know the struggle of the printed MapQuest directions. I honestly don't know how Magellan did it.
Cardale Jones prefers the original Ignition to the Remix. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Andrew Solomon (@Solomonomenon) October 16, 2015
TIL: There's an original Ignition.
Urban Meyer is not welcomed when he walks into Moe's #MoesMonday #OhioStateHateWeek
— DJ Bennett (@DJRexyRex) October 12, 2015
Urban Meyer demands excellence in all facets in his life. It'd be out of character to see him in a subpar burrito den.
The perfect mcm to start off #OhioStateHateWeek @Gboyd151515Gu pic.twitter.com/hV3I4r4kHc
— Jake From State Penn (@longhany) October 12, 2015
Everybody please look at this brave, apparently narcissistic man who definitely did not look to make sure nobody was around before taking this pic.
Cardale Jones thinks Ebola is part of your arm. #ohiostatehateweek #backatit
— Bobcat (@realrobmitchell) October 12, 2015
This tweet is just all sorts of awful: The "Cardale is stupid" tripe compounded with an Ebola a joke in 2015, the Year of Wario.
When asked which Hogwarts house he would be placed in, Urban Meyer said Lannister. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Kenneth Moore (@whatmoorekenIdo) October 12, 2015
Urban Meyer as a young Tywin Lannister? I'm not complaining.
Urban Meyer took chem110 as an elective #OhioStateHateWeek
— Mitch Robinson (@mitchrobs) October 16, 2015
Yes, boo that man who takes an interest in something with everyday pertinence like chemistry!
Urban Meyer still plays QuizUp #OhioStateHateWeek
— Mitch Robinson (@mitchrobs) October 16, 2015
Mitch must regret all that time he spent as a youth playing Quizup.
It's that time of the year again. Happy #OhioStateHateWeek everyone! "I said I wanted Dominos! I said it 5 times!" pic.twitter.com/HGi7C3JtLF
— Michael Fareri (@jukelele_19) October 12, 2015
I'm surprised it took me this long to find a use of SadPapaMeyer.jpg, but I'm not surprised that a Penn State fan is using a Michigan State victory as a proxy victory.
What does this mean in real life, friends? #OhioStateHateWeek pic.twitter.com/m6zL3OnhVZ
— Allison Gasparetti (@a_gasparetti) October 12, 2015
Going to keep it real here, Allison: I don't know either.
Buckeye is Latin for "Toliet seat shaped stadium haver". Don't believe me? See the images below. #OhioStateHateWeek pic.twitter.com/hyGYghL3LS
— PSU FACTS (@PSU_FACTS) October 13, 2015
Literal toilet humor: The apotheosis of Penn State comedy.
. @CJ12_ can't read #OhioStateHateWeek pic.twitter.com/LS4i8eQAjg
— Casey Nelson (@aircasey13) October 13, 2015
What's dumber: Thinking a grown man who can't read is hilarious or writing an insult to a man you allege is illiterate? I can't decide.
Bruh, you are #FauxNationalChamps don't look so happy. 10-2 season without ref help. #OhioStateHateWeek pic.twitter.com/1eT7Nquafh
— DominateTheTailgate (@Domin8DaTailG8) October 12, 2015
This is a picture of J.T. Barrett giving thanks to God moments after winning a title. I guess I can't blame him for not understanding, though. There's a good chance this tweeter hasn't seen a PSU title celebration in his or her lifetime.
#OhioStateHateWeek #SuccessWithHonor #WeAre pic.twitter.com/OeRg8WQtBS
— Troy Stram (@TroyStram) October 11, 2015
I'm just impressed Troy didn't combust into flames after dropping a #SuccessWithHonor.
@DustinsThots Faux victory. 10-2 season. #OhioStateHateWeek pic.twitter.com/Bwui3Jr5IE
— DominateTheTailgate (@Domin8DaTailG8) October 10, 2015
This man sees that expired play clock in his dreams. That delights me.
Urban Meyer pays for Tinder. #OhioStateHateWeek
— Dan Kaczowka (@DKaczowka10) October 11, 2015
Now you're just stealing lame internet jokes, Dan.
Ohio State students have to live in Ohio #OhioStateHateWeek
— Kyle Hoke (@TheHokeyPokeyy) October 11, 2015
You know Happy Valley is a great place to live by all the non-students flocking to live there.
Urban Meyer doesn't cry at the end of The Notebook #OhioStateHateWeek
— Danny B (@The_DANswer) October 10, 2015
He shouldn't. The Notebook is garbage.
J.T. Barrett eats his soup with a spork #OhioStateHateWeek
— Pepe Silvia (@SMooney7582) October 16, 2015
J.T. Barrett is harnessing the utility of a spork. I see no foul here.
Urban Meyer wears cargo shorts #OhioStateHateWeek
— The Mayor (@addyOklock) October 16, 2015
I used to wear cargo shorts :(
When making a query on the internet, Urban Meyer goes to Yahoo only to type http://t.co/dqSB8pw1FS into the search box #OhioStateHateWeek
— Mike DePodwin (@leHomeDePo) October 16, 2015
Who in the hell calls it a "query on the internet"? I think that's my exit.
Can somebody help me unzip my Hazmat suit?
