Let's face it: the offseason sucks, and is little more than a several months-long reminder that our lives are empty husks without the soothing siren song of football to remind us of our superiority to other geographical locations and the people that live in them. So to remedy this, we sat down and discussed ways that we could get through the offseason while simultaneously finding completely stupid and arbitrary things to feel superior about. The result is The B1G List.
They're everywhere. Invading our parks, shaking down the elderly for their precious bread (old people need fiber), pooping on our cars in such a way that it could not have possibly been an unintentional accident; truly birds are the scourge of our skies and the harbinger of all that is bad in this world. Birds, as made famous in the movie "The Birds" and "Birdemic: Shock and Terror," are truly the most feared of all Earth's creatures, which is why each of the 50 states have selected a bird to represent their region and strike fear in the hearts of all those who enter their realm.
And of course the Big Ten is no exception. Each of the nine states which currently have colleges in the Big Ten have carefully selected the most ravenous and feared avian from within the confines of their states to show the rest of the country just how foolish it would be to mess with the likes of an Indiana, or Illinois, or Minnesota.
But, alas, not all winged hellspawns are created equal, and today we shall look at who is top dog... bird... bird-dog in the states of the Big Ten.