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Free Abu-9Route!

Run_Fido_Run's picture
July 28, 2014 at 12:25pm
46 Comments

People for the Ethical Treatment of Sockpuppets (PETS) demand that Mumia Abu-9Route's 11W commenting privileges be restored! Abu-9Route's death sentence must be commuted to life-on-probabation.

As a youth, Abu-9Route endured harsh and oppressive conditions because the only comment boards on which he could express himself were espn.com and The Bleacher Report. It's not his fault that he had to survive by using various aliases and personas - that's life on the cyber streets.

The witnesses that testified against abu-9Route - such as Bucks43201, NotCincyOSU, and TedGinnIsFasterThanYou - are all dead now, so how is Abu-9Route's attorneys supposed to refute their testimony?

Abu-9Route demands the opportunity to take a lie detector and a DNA test.

Note: if you support the Free Abu-Route campaign, there are numerous ways that you can contribute to his defense:

  • Halestorm is holding a benefit concert in Lancaster, PA this weekend in support of Abu-9Route
  • I will soon make available at my website Free Abu-9Route tee shirts, which you can purchase for $39.99 plus shipping & handling (10 percent of the profits will go toward Abu-9Route's cyber defense team).
  • Get the name of a street in your hometown changed to 9Route.
Buckeye Rocket Sci's picture

You should start a petition on Charge.org

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence" - Calvin Coolidge

+13 HS
Ashtabula's picture

Please refer to the comments for reinstating the band director.

clogan1032's picture

I will get behind a petition for Uncle9Route if the campaign is led by his messiah Ryan Timmons.  If Timmons can't do it, it can't be done!

+1 HS
osu07asu10's picture

Slightly off here...Waycracken is who you're thinking of...

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+2 HS
clogan1032's picture

Damn it!  It seemed off when I typed it, thanks for the correction. Miss that cat too but appreciate the singular personality. 

osu07asu10's picture

I only want Uncle 9er back. His other personalities were pretty nasty. 9er though, boy was 9er an asset.

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+3 HS
Boxley's picture

Well he was 60% of the word asset.

"...the man who really counts in the world is the doer, not the mere critic-the man who actually does the work, even if roughly and imperfectly, not the man who only talks or writes about how it ought to be done." President T. Roosevelt

+8 HS
Gametime's picture

He was a set???

...I too dream in color and in rhyme
So I guess I'm one of a kind in a full house
Cause whenever I open my heart, my soul or my mouth
A touch of God rains out...

+5 HS
Earle's picture

I thought that meant that he was 40% extra terrestrial.

Italics are for emphasis.

+4 HS
GlueFingers Lavelli's picture

If we reinstate him, he must bear the username 9accounts.

Dustin Fox was our leading tackler as a corner.... because his guy always caught the ball.

+11 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

That is fair. But in exchange, Abu-9Route demands an unlimited supply of crunchy peanut butter. If it's creamy, the deal is off.

+3 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

His Jeff Greene thread alone should get him reinstated.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+2 HS
Earle's picture

I'm conflicted about this.  I was a fan of Uncle 9er, but I feel betrayed by his deception.  I was also a fan of the pre-meltdown KateUpton'sLowerBack, and suspected a link there, but the disparate personalities of his other accounts has me a bit flummoxed.  Might we be enabling a brilliant sociopath by bringing him back?

Italics are for emphasis.

+5 HS
osu07asu10's picture

Earle...awesome change of the avatar. Can I still call you Coach?

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+5 HS
AndyVance's picture

Earle...awesome change of the avatar.

Whoa. Mind = blown. Thanks for pointing out the avatar change since Earle didn't have the decency to post a thread announcing the new pic.

+8 HS
osu07asu10's picture

Thought he could just sneak it past us with all the hullabaloo around Uncle 9er...

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+1 HS
osu07asu10's picture

This is truly enlightening...

Maybe the OSU in my handle actually stands for Oregon State University and the ASU actually stands for Arizona State University....

I'm so confused...

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+3 HS
Unky Buck's picture

When I just scrolled down here and saw the change, I immediately thought, "Brilliant!" Maybe he won't get so many old jokes thrown his way anymore.

...

+2 HS
osu07asu10's picture

Until someone can confirm this isn't Earle the jokes will roll on...

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

Earle's picture

That's not me.  No way I could get up on that stage with my arthritic hip.  Plus, I recently endured another trip to the American Girl store with my wife and daughters, and don't have that kind of cash anymore.

Italics are for emphasis.

+2 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

A feeling of utter terror just ran up my spine. My little girl is 3 years old now. At what age in her life will our American Girl nightmare begin?

+1 HS
Earle's picture

If you've made it to age three, your days are numbered.  I don't know how they so readily infiltrate the minds of innocent children, but rest assured, dollmageddon is coming to a store near you.  We were able to forestall it until a family trip Chicago a number of years ago, but if you are within a half-day's drive of Easton, you will be unable to protect your bank account from the siren call of overpriced dolls and their myriad accessories for long, my friend.

Italics are for emphasis.

+1 HS
OSU_ALUM_05's picture

My daughter is 5 and I'm proud to say we don't own said doll. I make a habit of throwing away the constant stream of free catalogs that keep hitting my mailbox. So far so good.

Run_Fido_Run's picture

"One troll is a tragedy; a hundred sock-puppets is a statistic."

--Joseph Stalin

+5 HS
jamesrbrown322's picture

 Nothing wrong with brilliant sociopaths...

"I can accept failure, but I cannot accept not trying." - W.W. Hayes

+2 HS
OSUStu's picture

There are ways to control such people.

If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.  ~ Bruce Lee

+2 HS
Hovenaut's picture

I don't think he'll resurface.

Someone would have to actually identify him to start with...

+9 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

Um.... I totally missed this.

EDIT -- Never mind... I just looked at the thread about sock puppets.... 

I'm extremely sad I missed all of this. I'll have to spend the next hour or so catching up.

The first man gets the ((((Oyster)))), the second man gets the shell.

+2 HS
Hovenaut's picture

It's still thriving...search "sad individual" and/or "sock puppets".

Or check that whole active discussions thing.

*EDIT* There you are. Enjoy the ride.
 

+1 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

I just skimmed through the thread.... and now I'm even MORE upset that I missed it all.

This truly was a terrible weekend in retrospect.

The first man gets the ((((Oyster)))), the second man gets the shell.

+1 HS
brandonbauer87's picture

I'm not sure....but I do love Halestorm....I'm in. 

airbuckeye's picture

After reading the scok puppets thread which was a classic by the way now i think i need to go into dresser drawls and make a few change's . Put all my sock in one drawl and put a lock on it to protect myself at night now just in case they two develope their own personality.

Earle's picture

Italics are for emphasis.

+1 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

Totally off topic here, but that part of the movie totally bothered me.... What happened was not freaking deja vu. It was an exact copy of something that happened seconds before.

The first man gets the ((((Oyster)))), the second man gets the shell.

Crimson's picture

That's the point.  Neo didn't know.  They told him it was a glitch in the system, a correction.

jeremytwoface's picture

Yeah but he says right after it happens "I just had deja vu" and I'm saying that what he experienced was nothing like deja vu. So he obviously doesn't have fundamental knowledge of what deja vu is.

The first man gets the ((((Oyster)))), the second man gets the shell.

YTOWNBUCKI's picture

This looks like something 9route would have written...

+1 HS
Earle's picture

Hang on a second...Fido??

Italics are for emphasis.

+1 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

Shhhhhh . . . these are not the droids you're looking for. 

+2 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

with such a rough upbringing, why couldn't 9route have done what others with rough upbringings have done? I mean, look at Luis Suarez, he seems to have been able to avoid creating multiple accounts on 11W. Even if he has other issues.

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

Groveport Heisman's picture

His RickKaneWasHere personality wasnt one I think people want to deal with on a regular basis. Although it was funny as hell to watch him claim to be a Browns fan but say he is also a Steelers fan through marriage. The Rick as he called himself had a steelers logo in his profile. And now we find out all of his accounts are from the great state of Pennsylvania? Priceless.

Mark my words..I don't need acceptance. I'm catching interceptions on you innocent pedestrians.

+1 HS
BroJim's picture

Why did you write this post in such a way? 

I season my simple food with hunger

MacG91's picture

Abused the system, does not deserve to be back. Most likely would do it again. 

Mac..yeah

+4 HS
Silver_bullet_tex's picture

This post feels like it's from 9er/whatever other username. No one is safe. Assume you are being trolled at all times. If it is another 9er, we will find you.

 

Run_Fido_Run's picture

The Run_Fido identity has been on 11W since about 2009, probably 2 or 3 years before Abu-9Route. So if I am actually 9route, I've been running a long con that took a 3 year "dry run" to set up in the first place. Now, 9route can't be that diabolical, can he? 

+1 HS