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How the Patriots Won

+18 HS
Crumb's picture
February 5, 2017 at 11:24pm
48 Comments

*1980's Era Cell Phone Rings*
Thank you for calling Hell, this is Satan.
You OWE US!
Satan: Tom? Bill? Oh not again.
Tom&Bill: We're down 25 points! 
Satan: Look, guys, I really don't want anymore of your children, okay.
Tom: How about Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck?
Bill: SHUT UP, Tom! We're trying to get him to help us!
Satan: Yeah, if you speak again Brady, I'm hanging up. I swear Bill, if you'd just asked for Manning 16 years ago you'd have 12 Super Bowls by now. Look you guys just don't have anything I want, okay? Besides there are a ton of asterisks next the ones I got you already anyways!
Tom&Bill: We'll give you Gisele.
*A short time later*
Announcer: And the Patriots have won Super Bowl 51!

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