Because I'm not a reporter and don't have to worry about journalistic integrity, I'm going to share this report whether it is true or not. While Ol' Johnny Cokehead was meandering his way through Vegas, he disguised himself as a redneck named Billy. Personally, I'm disappointed he didn't pop bottles under the disguise of Mohnny Janziel, but I digress.

The Browns future is a fait accompli, thus I no longer care about what the players or staff do in their free time. I'm just here for the clown show.

Please keep Johnny, Browns. He's the spirit animal of the city of Cleveland.