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Johnny Manziel being sued for sexual harassment

jeremytwoface's picture
May 23, 2014 at 9:34am
69 Comments
Earle's picture

Welcome to the Manziel era, Browns fans:

 

+15 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

Well it reads like a complete and utter joke.... like an actual joke. When I first saw it, I was like "of course"... But reading through the suit paper makes it seem like a joke.

If it's not a joke, than it is completely ridiculous and will be dropped lol.

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

Seattle Linga's picture

I thought this was supposed to be the new era...........I love me some Manz Ale Beer

 

+5 HS
Barnsey69's picture

*Two UV's for including GIF from awesome battle scene.

I am a modern-art masterpiece.

+2 HS
Oyster's picture

Is the ink even dry on his contract yet?

+1 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

So this might be a total joke. It looks like real suit papers with a case number and everything, but if you read it, it's absolutely hilarious.

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

Oyster's picture

Where did you hear about this originally?

Because if it was on the internet...

+2 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

It was from Twitter.... 

This IS an actual complaint filed to the U.S. District Court in Florida.... But I'm assuming someone other than Samantha Schacher filed it under her name as a joke.

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

Seattle Linga's picture

The internet is always accurate ..................... Right?

 

+5 HS
Buckeye Knight's picture

Is this real?  I hate Johnny Dbag, but that complaint sounds ridiculous.  The sad thing is, you never know nowadays, there are some legit crazy people out there.

-1 HS
osu07asu10's picture

and it starts...

 

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

brandonbauer87's picture

Everyone should read the complaint. It contains some good laughs. 

1. This is clearly a money grab, as the complainant dates the situation back over a year. 

2. I would think you could have someone read and edit your complaint before turning it in. It appears to be written by a 5th grade student. 

jeremytwoface's picture

Yeah I'm not sure it's even real.... It's full of pretty nonsensical, ridiculous stuff. I posted it before I read through most of it.

 

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

+1 HS
osu07asu10's picture

I think it is a joke...

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

I just hope he didn't put the hot dog bun back once he was done.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+2 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

I'm going to go ahead and say that this whole thing is a prank.... Samantha Schacher is a co-host on the show "Dr. Drew On Call".

I'm guessing someone filed this lawsuit under her name as a joke.... It's a pretty good one if you ask me.

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

mh277907's picture

Hahaha please tell me that you didn't think this was real. Despite the fact that it appears to be written by a 2nd grader, it is quite humorous:

Johnny Manziel sent me a Instagram photo of himself naked to me on Facebook with Manziel putting a hotdog bun between his penis, smiling, calling me "ho, ho, ho" then called me up and told me he wanted a threesome with Dr. Drew.

and:

During last year's Nathan Hotdog Eating Contest, Defendant Manziel sent me a naked photo of him with a ruler next to his erect penis that measured 4.5 inches, while holding up a sign "you know you want me, Samantha"

and:

Johnny Manziel told me he wants me to be his Linda Lovelace on Deep Throat.

and my personal favorite:

Johnny Manziel refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage and told me good things come from small packages.

buckeyebobcat

+5 HS
daytonbuckeye1983's picture

After my initial panic, I read it.  Obviously fake, but I must admit it is hilarious.

Earle's picture

Somewhere, Brett Favre is nodding his head in approval.

 

+16 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

And somewhere else Jenn Sterger is pointing and laughing.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+5 HS
Seattle Linga's picture

Maybe Jerry Springer can sort this all out

+3 HS
Earle's picture

After her surgery, Jenn is always pointing.

+2 HS
AndyVance's picture

...and people wonder why highly-touted recruits consider going to Florida State...

 

+7 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

I thought it was the crab legs.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+6 HS
Oyster's picture

Settle down gentlemen, be respectful of STEENSN.

(also, she had them removed a number of years ago.  She claimed she was being stereotyped.  I wonder who gave her that idea...)

+4 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture
I always liked her friend more.

Get famous off your body, then get upset when that's all people talk about. Typical.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+5 HS
AndyVance's picture

Earle brought 'em up, ahem, so to speak.

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

Glade he did. Gave me a reason to look her up.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

causeicouldntgo43's picture

Thanks AV - good to see some splibage ( pronounced as "spleee-badge - spillage and cleavage combined) on 11W. Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

+1 HS
Buckeye Knight's picture

I don't think she worked for Jameis, I hear he's more of a leg man.

+3 HS
osu07asu10's picture

AndyVance! Nice work!

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

+1 HS
B1G_Deal's picture

If this woman gold digging like Kobe,s then jonny football should countersue hard to set precedente ,, teach lessons

-1 HS
BROSEPH's picture

There's never been something so untrue as this is untrue.  

Seattle Linga's picture

No worries - I will pay the fine - I invested well as a young lad

ITWASME's picture

That was hilarious if I do say so myself

Earle's picture

After reading the allegations, it seems to me that this suit belongs in small claims court.

+15 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

 

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

+6 HS
jeremytwoface's picture

Johnny Hotdog's agent speaks.....

The first man gets the Oyster, the second man gets the shell.

+1 HS
Oyster's picture

Not so fast.  This "lawsuit" came out on the internet/twitter, but so did the announcement that it wasn't real.  Are we sure we can believe this statement from his "agent"...

+4 HS
Unky Buck's picture

If his agent is also a French model, then yes....yes we can.

 

...

+4 HS
Oyster's picture

That is a valid point.  Your wisdom in these troubling times brings comfort to us all.

+2 HS
Unky Buck's picture

It's what I do. I bring wisdom and insight to all...along with some sharp dance moves

 

...

+5 HS
Earle's picture

Not to mention Orange Whips:

 

+6 HS
Oyster's picture

Looks more like a red X to me...

+2 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

You should get that checked out.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+1 HS
Oyster's picture

It's ok, I have a topical cream that I apply twice a day.

+1 HS
Unky Buck's picture

Is that your son's topical cream for his butt cyst?

...

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

Are we sure The Onion isn't behind this?

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+2 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

LoL!

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+3 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

 

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+4 HS
Groveport Heisman's picture

LMAO this is pure gold.

Mark my words..I don't need acceptance. I'm catching interceptions on you innocent pedestrians.

Athens BuckCat's picture

Wow this thing is ridiculous! He's gonna get some great hazing from this I would imagine. Johnny Wiener

Earle's picture

Only a matter of time before someone puts a #4.5 jersey in his locker.

+1 HS
Athens BuckCat's picture

lol I feel like someone absolutely needs to this

M Man's picture

So this is interesting.  Fake?  Obviously.  Any lawyer reading this thing would recognize that it isn't even close to being a genuine request for any serious relief.

As a joke pleading, it isn't anywhere near as funny as the immortal Coyote v. Acme lawsuit written by Ian Frazier for the New Yorker (sorry to all the rubes who don't have a New Yorker subscription).

But here's what I wonder about; because this is so far off the radar of seriousness, law school never prepared me for how to address it...

So let's assume (because we should) that this lawsuit is 100% phony, but that it actually did get filed in the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Florida.  To do that, somebody would have had to go to the courthouse (on surveillance video?), present this thing to a court clerk (and the clerks always read it to see what exactly it is that is being filed), and supply a filing fee.  Depending on district, something like $200 would be the cost.  And it isn't too hard to imagine that somebody might be willing to invest a couple c-notes in this stunt.

But assuming (again as I think we should), that the named plaintiff had nothing to do with this, that her name and identity as a radio hostess were used without her knowledge for this stunt, and that the whole thing is a bad joke, then the problem for whoever caused this to get filed is that they'd be liable for some very serious sanctions, most notably under Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.  There might be an action lying with Johnny Football for abuse of process.  Abuse of process usually requires something pretty extreme in the procedural realm; this is such an extreme.  United States District Courts do not like practical jokes.  If you have any doubt about that, just go down to the USDC in your region, and tell the United States Marshalls manning the metal detectors that the small caliber pistol in your pocket is a joke, that the box cutter sitting in the bin is just part of your keychain, and that you are just stopping by to check on the progress of the Manziel litigation. 

If this really did get filed in a courthouse, we haven't heard the last of this.  This bad joke won't go away quietly.

+2 HS
Oyster's picture

My definition of a rube is somebody who continues to defend Gibbons on an OSU forum.  But that's just me...

+4 HS
M Man's picture

So speaking of federal lawsuits, here's one that isn't fake.  This one is serious.  Serious as a freaking heart attack.  I know Deborah Gordon.  She's gonna leave a mark.

Don't blame me; you brought it up.

-1 HS
Oyster's picture

I never mentioned your name, it was just a hypothetical ; )

+1 HS
seafus26's picture

They are actually selling Browns caps at the check out lines at Academy Sports in Houston. 

Go Bucks and michigan STILL SUCKS!

RBuck's picture

From what I heard on the Fan yesterday, the guy behind this lawsuit has filed more than 3,000 frivolous suits in the past. Nothing here to see.

"It's just another case of there you are". ~ Doc (1918-2012)

Earle's picture

Not without a magnifying glass, anyway. Allegedly.

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

The buns might have been cold.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

BassDropper's picture

Johnny's new jersey

 

DIRECTIONER

+1 HS