<poof>

Hello, Buckeyes of the past!

Time Traveler here.

Don't pop in to say much anymore, but I assure you, I read all the articles, as they are well preserved in the archives of the Free World Colleges led by OSU here in my time.  From the Eleven Warrior Tower...DJ, great article coming up in December..."you're growing up before our eyes!"  they will say of you...

However, I'd like to make a plea to those that seem consumed with hating on the "old timer Buckeyes".  Hear me out, and the future will bear me out.

Please...can we not let Herbstreit live his life in peace? 

And Nay.  Neither am I Herbstreit, nor am I some shill to do his will.

It just doesn't need to be done, and shouldn't be done.  Not this season.  Not any season.  It's common truth that the O line hasn't quite jelled into the coming leviathan they will be.

But please, and I ask nicely as I aim my SuperDeluxe Time Discombulator Ray directly at you, a little shaky on the hair trigger after a bout with reverse cosmic dust diarrhea last night....could we let him live in peace without constantly crying about disloyalty?

Herbstreit aint Pat Forde.  Or May Mark, or a dozen or so other media spouters who would love nothing more than to delight themselves into delirium at an Ohio State loss.

If I don't agree with what Herbstreit says, then, oh well.  There are thousands on Twitter who will say anything they want.  And they do.  Who cares?  Why would I poke Herbstreit with a Traitor Stick every time something he says doesn't rub me gently with warm oil and stroke my inner panties?

And by the way...stop shopping at this store. 

Go to Sears.  Walmart.  Dollar Tree.  Hell, go Goodwill before you go back here.

But please, get over it, pull your soiled panties off, and trade em in for some boxers with a manly motif, or at least a space motif. 

Or hang a poster of Grizzly Adams on your wall...anything to reclaim a hold on your manhood, tenacious if need be.

Oh.  And here's the advice I promised...

Just enjoy the season. 

You will look so much cooler at the end if you were the guy who didn't panic at every curve in the road during the season.  Be the guy who is sitting in the couch with a crooked smile on your face because you now know, you KNOW that the Buckeyes are taking it all the way to the house...and owning it again.

You know, because the Time Traveler told you, and then it didn't matter that, surprise, Kirk Herbstreit has his own opinion...and surprise, Mrs. May has softened just a smidge on the Bucks, and oh goodness, surprise again...Pat Forde is such a funny bully in retrospect when you think of him in his pink tu tu (hint: in 2017, it was discovered by the Big Ten Network that Forde had been keeping eleven chimpanzees captive in a posh New York penthouse, feeding them their own feces and dancing in front of them nightly in that pink tu tu, while in terror they flung feces at him, which he tried NOT to dodge--there is video on that). 

As for Fordes career...well, it went a little strange after that.

But know that the Buckeyes will make history again...by being not only the first playoff era, undisputed consensus national champions, but the first to repeat that feat...even before anyone else has the opportunity to win it once...!

Breathe that in. 

Pause. 

Reflect.

Rinse and repeat.

I bid yews, adieus.

Time Traveler away, and beyond.

>poof<