The BIG 10 Network will be releasing a pro-OSU congratulatory commercial this afternoon. Good for them, but I also want to call them out for doing only an okay job of promoting the BIG and OSU. I present my mock BIG 10 Network scenario.
OSU commercial airs, then we go back to programming. Dave Revsine - "We're back here in Dallas on the set of BIG 10 Live. Talking Buckeye football and what a season it was for the Buckeyes. Let's bring in Yahoo contributor Pat Forde to discuss everything NCG and the changing football landscape".
"Hats off to OSU - the Oklahama State Suckeyes. HaHa my bad, Columbus Ohio could be so lucky. Lets get serious for a moment, under Meyer the Buckeyes learned how to play hardnosed SEC football. Boy that Meyer, stole a page right out of Nick Saban's playbook. Speaking of Nick Saban. I heard he has a 10 inch Alabama rattlesnake in his khakis. Whew, is it hot in here, but I digress. I cant say enough about Meyer pulling these SEC kids out of SEC country and supplanting them in the midwest. Poor bastards gotta deal with the cold, the snow and the toothless women trolls that flaught their giblets in that sewer Mirror Lake. Now, Jerry DiNardo have you seen the women in Arkansas. Wewwwww, pig sewwwy!!! And, I mean that in a good way. Back on task, Vonn Bell brought Tennesee Volunteer swagger to the Buckeyes, Raekwon McMillan brought that Georgia athletism and Alabama native Doran Grant brought that contagious Alabama winning attitude. Boy he is tough. Potential high draft pick. I heard Saban didnt want him and Mark Stoops signed a better kid at KY, his name was Timmons or something. Wow these youngster are good SEC football players. To me OSU looked slow, kinda fat, but since Oregon handed them the game I guess congratulations are in order. Keys to the game were John Bosa, Michael Barnett and linebacker Derrik Lee being in the right place at the right time. I mean these fat chubsters didnt have to move. Rumor is Oregon had food poising and Mariotta was battling multiple hang nails. With the tempo of the Oregon offense hang nails can be a deal breaker. I am supposed to say good job Buckeyes. Whatever. Thanks for having me on, SEC #1 bitches!"
Cuts back to Mike Hall: "Did we lose Pat? Did we lose him? Good, that guy is a dick!"
Over to Gary Dinardo: "I like Pat. He has a good pulse on today's college football and he has that southern charm that draws us midwesterners to him. We should have him on more. You learn something everyday here at BTN. I didnt know Doran Grant was from Alabama".
Dan Revsine: "Grant is not from Alabama, he is from Ohio. Do you guys even read the sheets I hand you? Lets save that conversation for another day. You can read all about it in my book - The Opening Kickoff: The Tumultuous Birth of a Football Nation. Now, with an extra chapter on Cardale Jones.
Mike Hall: "Thanks for a great season gentlemen, and thanks for joining us all season long on Big 10 Live. Stay tuned for a special edition of The Journey. This episode will focus on the making of a Purdue linebacker, Maryland women's field hockey team and the SEC West. So long from Dallas."
