Eleven Warriors

This is really bad, please think before posting next time 

Turrible!

The only one that even comes close to making sense is the penn state one I first posted when I was half asleep so I decided to read it again to make sure I got it all wrong choice

I can't believe I took the time to read this...

Wah waaaaaah.

a million comedians in the world and this guy is telling jokes!

a drunk, a young thief and a pedophile all died in a horrible accident and went to heaven where they were greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter says, "you each are not welcome to come into heaven but God will give you a second chance. You must give up your evil ways or you will be sent to hell where you will be for all eternity." All 3 agree and are sent back to the scene of the accident, alive and unharmed. As they walk away, they question whether what happened was real or not. As soon as they walk past a liquer store, poof, the drunk disappears! The thief and pedophile couldn't believe what they just saw and they both immediately decide they believe what happened in heaven. As they walk a couple more blocks, they approach an ATM. Sticking out of the ATM is a stack of $100. As they get closer, the thief thinks to himself it wouldn't be stealing if the money is just sitting there.

As he bends over to take the money, poof, the pedophile disappears!

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast?'
 

A young indian boy goes up to his father. He says, " Dad, where do our names come from?" his dad says, " Well son, when a new baby is born we walk outside and name them after the first thing we see, like Soaring Eagle or Charging Bull. Why do you ask Dog Taking Shit?"