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Solution for Michigan Football problems

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johnblairgobucks's picture
September 23, 2014 at 7:01pm
30 Comments

It's obvious Brady Hoke and his coaching staff must be replaced.  So get them out of there.  Who do you replace them with?  Well, in a move that would fill the vacant coaching positions and, at the same time, clean some of the football experts out of the ESPN routine, hire ESPN staff.   Michigan will probably pay their next head coach around $5,000,000 per year and his assistants will probably make over $200,000 a year, which is probably more than any of the ESPN experts make besides Herbstriet and Rece Davis (who do a good job and should stay at the network).  Just think of all the attention ESPN would give the Wolverines if they hired an all ESPN staff.  Heck, ESPN might even bend on their negative backlash for the BTN and be positive about a Big10 team.

so here is Michigan's new staff, complete with blowhard experts certified to know the game off football, by ESPN.

Head Coach: Desmond Howard- Mr. positive about Michigan football, former great returns to restore the glory.  Also a "Michigan Man" of the highest order, because he is from Ohio

Offensive Coordinator: Jesse Palmer- will teach young players the fine points of the game, and has a goal to get the program playing "Stanford football".

Defensive Coordinator:  David Pollack- everything he says will have a mention of SEC, so maybe the past 2 time DPOY in the SEC will get the young defense believing they are in the SEC, thus they will be better.

Offensive Line Coach: Mark May- May Day, past NFL great and Pitt legend, already hates Ohio State, is arrogant, hypocritical and tubby.  Perfect fit, here.

Quarterback Coach:  Brian Griese- Michigan Man who knows what it takes to be a National Champion, despite having a weak arm...... Too late to help Gardner, but will help Morris.

Wide Receiver Coach:  Braylon Edwards- not that he works at ESPN, but he probably needs a job

Linebacker Coach- Matt Millen- "would run over his mom, to get to a Super Bowl", so he is tough

Defensive Back Coach: Rod Gillmore- not a good choice, but he swayed them in the interview, into thinking he knew what he was talking about

Recruiting Coordinator: Tom Luginbill- perfect school for this douche.  

All are experts, and Michigan sucks, so help clean up ESPN and improve UM, at the same time.

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