So, why does the off-season seem to drag on for 20 months?

While the regular-season seems to fly by in 3 weeks? 

It is a clear and undeniable time-warp... Experienced by millions of football fans each and every year...

Einstein's Theory of Relativity fails to address this complex issue... It's a haunting question... Gotta be a doctoral thesis in there somewhere... At the very least.

[Is there a "hyperbole" font?]