PHONE'S RINGING -- IT'S URBAN ON THE LINE
(Brian Kelly/Brady Hoke)
Do you mean "caption me"?
thanks JD ... fixed
I'm just happy to be here
No prob, although the thought of Hoke telling Kelly, "Capture me" is oddly unsurprising. And slightly disturbing.
"You win with people." - Woody Hayes
There are not enough upvotes on the Internet for this post.
The world is full of kings & queens who'll blind your eyes & steal your dreams - it's heaven & hell - Ronnie James Dio.
"I swear it was about this 'round....I had to get a coat hanger."
"Good grief man, what do you eat?"
"Success - it's what you do with what you got" - Woody Hayes
"I was watching Man vs Food. They had this restaurant "Mallie's Sports Bar and Grill" Adam Richman said the place was located in Meatchicken and had the worlds largest hamburger. That burger looked like it was this big. I just knew I had to get one. Then this lame A___ school called and offered me a job. DREAM COME TRUE except the job of course"
"I wish Ohio State had called 'The Thurmanator' looks better........ So how did you get stuck at South Bend Over?"
Hoke : "Now Subway swears their footlong subs are a foot long, but I tell you, I had a meatball sub the other day from there and by golly that thing was only 11 and 3 quarters. 11 and 3 quarters."
Kelly: " Well for crying out the upstairs window, how'd you know? Did you measure it?"
Hoke: " Nope, couldn't measure it, I'd already eaten it...But I tell you, I only tasted 11 and 3 quarters worth of a meatball sub sandwich and not a whole foot. Guess how pissed I was ?"
Hoke: "and so he was walking out, and I totally stopped goat-thinking, and so I said, "Thanks, Alex."
Kelly: "Yep (moves hat). That happens to all of us, but at least your face didn't turn all red."
"I've got about this much time to talk to you before 9Route's big announcement."
So I told Dawson that he can't take anymore visits since he gave me his word, and wouldn't you know that little shit went and took a visit! What? Oh hell no, I never intended to pull the offer, I just acted like I did. But I had to do some fast talking to convince the other guys that they couldn't take any visits because Morris was finally feeling better after the mono he was ready to catch up on lost time. Now how would that look if I let him come back too?
Hoke: Brian I'm glad your wearing green today cuz you know I don't eat salad
Hoke:"So, even if we combine our teams, we still can't beat Ohio." Kelly:"State". Hoke:"Steak?" Kelly:"State!!" Hoke:"Yeah, let's eat."
An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches
Hoke: "I asked for a small fries, you know, about this many"
*Kelly adjusts visor, farts*
Hoke: "When it came time to shake hands after The Game, I couldn't figure out which one to put forth, left or right, so I fled the field in shame"
"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer
Headsets? No, I'm not allowed anymore. One game I was eating some hotdogs and got stadium mustard all over the mouthpiece. Mr Brandon told me to stop doing that during games so I did. Huh? You really think he meant the hotdogs and not the headset? Hmmm, I never made the connection... Hold on a sec, TWO! I'LL TAKE TWO OVER HERE!
"I was this close to Urban at the Big Ten press conference and he still wouldn't give me an autograph.."
Hoke: ...And then, #44 comes sprinting through the line and right when he gets this close, I wake up all panicked and sweatier than I usually am.
Kelly: Sounds scary... We shouldn't play anymore.
Hoke: What is my Delta Tau Chi name?
Kelly: Hoke, I've thought long and hard about this. Your Delta Tau Chi name is.....Flounder.
Hoke: "Look, Brian, if you're going to kill students at your practices you can't afford media backlash. Get to the body, chop it up, and put it in a box about this big. Then, sink it to the bottom of Lake Michigan, Dexter style. Don't be such a rookie - sexual assault, fake girlfriends and death at practice - get better."
Looking at that picture, Matt Foley comes to mind.
Nothing like dancing on the field in 02...
hey there i am!
Such a great gig should be reserved for gray boxes (the good kind).
"I hear you, the glazed are a must...but trust me, Boston cream are JUST as good, especially once you hit that half dozen mark. By the way, when are you and those sanctimonious knobs in your administration going to grow some cojones and join the B1G?"
Kelly: "My belly is full"
Hoke: "Mine's bigger"
Class of 2010.
"no I'm serious you watch, one day I'm gonna coach of the fighting Irish of Notre Dame".."look how many times have I told you, i dont care Brian, but serious, those friggin donut burgers at the state fair are legit!
"....and then the guy posts about how he's changing his icon.. and people bring it back from the dead every Friday!!"
"..the balls on that guy..."
"I know, right?"
Hoke: "I used to grab bear claws as a kid, two at a time, and I'd get them lodged right in this region here."
Hoke: "You know Chip, I'd like to win a Routey, I hear they are about the size of a soccer ball & smell like bacon."
Kelly: "I got no decent QB's right now & you're talking about Routeys? Makes me purple Brady...Makes me really, really purple."
"Meet me at The Golden Coral in 40 minutes, trust me, no one will be able to tell..."
"We were this far when I decided to go for it on 4th down against Ohio (sic)"
I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!
Hoke: Brian...Did you see where my double-meat-double-cheese-extra-mayo-max-bacon footlong went?
Kelly: Yep, I put it up on the scissor-lift for safe keeping...but you're gonna need to wear your windbreaker
"To crush the Wolverines, to see them driven from their stadium, and to hear the lamentation of their fans" Conan the Barbarian (paraphrased) on "what is best in life."
"so then, i take this much of a 6' party sub and big house it in 1 bite!"
"My best football moments, Brian, is after a win, taking on a donut this big."
Man I love these. Never gets old.
"It was bullshit. I got DQ'd from the hot dog eating contest because I ate everyone else's after I finished mine. I destroyed Kobayashi's record and it didn't even count. Got some McD's afterward to celebrate."
Keep 'em rolling.
Hoke: "I could really use some suspenders right here to hold my pants up".
Kelly: "I actually have fishing line tied to my visor to hold mine up. Check it out".
Hoke: "yep ate the whole Thurmanator and it was this big."
Kelly: "I tip my cap to you sir you truly are a f~cking pig but yet I find you strangely attractive."
Toledo - Ohio's right armpit
"A troll by any other name is still a troll".
Hoke: "Shane Morris is this close to being good."
kelly: "do I look red to you?"
"Man, that Urban Meyer's gotta have one this big."
Hoke: You won't like the way this game ends. Also, Look into Manti's social life a little deeper.
Dustin Fox was our leading tackler as a corner.... because his guy always caught the ball.
Hoke: I bet I can shove my head this far up my own ass.
Kelly: well....(moment of silence) ..... After that ass kicking the buckeyes gave you last year, I would bet it could go twice as far!
Bury me in my away jersey, with my buckeye blanket. A diehard who died young. Rip dad.
"Get in my belly!"
Hoke "What do you think was in that danish? Was it cheese? Because....I don't do so well with cheese..."
Kelly: "Brady you don't look so good"
I dont always root for college athletics, but when i do (which is most of the time) I choose THE Ohio State Buckeyes.
Hoke: Don't look, but behind your right shoulder there's a guy in the stands with a
sandwich that is this big, I swear!
Kelly: Ok, what's the plan? And this time I get more than just one bite!!
"My shit was like this. Haven't seen a blowout like that since our games with Alabama."
This one has to be bumped. We want more, we want more.
Hoke: Bri...buddy...character issues are TOUGH...even though he is a "Michigan Man" it took this much effort to keep a convicted felon playing for us last season.
Kelly: Well, keeping an alleged rapist playing is a much tougher deal...but after going to confession for an hour, the AD absolved him because ND athletics is practically a religion anyway, right? Problem solved!
"Man, that girlfriend of Tao must have a nose this long".
Hoke: uhhh uhh erk uhh duhhh... who is g-gonna touch t-t-t-these k-kids?
Kelly: really? we are a catholic school, come on hoke.
Hoke:.Brian the box was about this big and was filled with Krispy Kremes
Kelly: Didn't see it
Battles are sometimes won by generals; wars are nearly always won by sergeants and privates. Football is no different, the guys down in the trenches win the games, not the coach.
Kelly: "Hey Coach, do you think if I adjust my visor like this and overlook that wind blown scoffolding that we might be able to find Vincent Smith's helmet?"
Hoke: "I'm telling you, Clowney hit him so hard he came out of his shoes this far! That's further than Denard can arm-punt the football!"
“Right now, Michigan is not at the pinnacle of college football, and that’s all Urban Meyer cares about...He’s been there and knows what it takes to get there.”
Hoke: Brian, remember that kid that died at your practice?
Hoke: Oh, ok. Well who should I contact to find out what happened with his meal plan?
"As long as we're keeping score, we're gonna try to win this thing." - UFM
I'm telling you, you haven't lived till you add gravy to your coffee!
Hoke: my gut hangs over my belt this much
Kelly: got me beat, but just by a little.
Get in my belly!
Kelly:"I do not have any idea, but tell me how much you know about playing with Alabama."
Hoke:"about this much"
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Scarlet and Gray, Every Day.
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