Eleven Warriors

but he's missing out on the 2 most important weeks of practice in his life. playing with the olympic team is like a 2 week band camp with mozart, strauss, beethoven, and chopin- and you're the only camper there.

i don't blame the kid. we've all smacked our self in the facemask, punched the backboard, tried to break an aluminum bat on our quads...just more bad luck in a city that hasn't had anything to cheer about since jim brown left.

if lebron never would have betrayed cleveland, the cavs never would have had the first draft pick. so, they never would have selected irving, and then this wouldn't be the cavs problem.

so, you see, i'm going to blame lebron for as much as i possibly can. in fact, i'm pretty sure the majority of the world's problems can be traced directly back to lebron via the "six degrees of kevin bacon" method.

obama has the national debt at $15 trillion, you say? well, that's because lots of kids drop out of high school because they watch lebron and think they can make millions while also having an iq of 68 like him, and then the country needs to spend boatloads on entitlement programs for these flunkies.

oh, your grandfather died of a heart attack? he was a cavs fan, right? yeah, those 82 games last year really were quite stressful. if lebron never would have left, your grandfather would be in peak physical condition- your grandfather would still be alive.

and on and on. 

(art modell, scott mcmullen, and the cast of jersey shore are fun to play with, as well.)