So, pretty soon Michael and I are going to take the Eleven Dubcast into monthly territory since without basketball and football news it'd turn into the "Johnny and Michael talk about their favorite talking dogs" show pretty quickly. And while I and presumably Michael would derive immense pleasure from that incredibly topical conversation (Wishbone is pretty freaking high up there), it would likely start to wear thin for you guys sometime in late May/early June.
The offseason is just as hard on us as it is on you guys, but one thing that will get us through the lean times is the knowledge that our listeners are still sending us some of the best random minutiae about life, love, and collegiate sports that they can think of. Ask Us Anything truly is my favorite segment of the Dubcast, because it shows just what kind of weird and wonderful people that we have listening to us ramble about poor shooting and Mystery Science Theater 3000 on a regular basis.
So today I wanted to do something of an homage to some of the best questions that we've gotten for Ask Us Anything (which you can do by dropping us an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org). You guys are great, and we are simply the conduit through which your greatness flows. Danke schön everybody.
It's a legitimate question, honestly. Are you a cat or a dog? Are you a tree or a chair? Are you a man or a mouse? I'm a dog. I think. I don't know a great deal of cats in my life that I look up to, but there have been several dogs that have been a personal inspiration. Thank you gumtape. You've made me question some of the baser elements of my being.
Here's one possibility we may not want to consider: maybe we deserve it. Maybe, in our Ohioan hubris and braggadocio, we have earned the spite that the universe seems to have directed toward us in recent years. I appreciate this question because it addresses one of the key existential questions that a human can ponder, while also framing it through the navel-gazey lens of Ohio State athletics. Seriously, if Voltaire had been a big Buckeyes fan, imagine the kind of awesome works he could of produced instead of trash like Candide.
A Tasmanian Devil tattoo.
What I love about some of our listeners is their utter frankness. If you give people a platform to express their frustration or whatever, they will straight up tell you and I absolutely freaking love that. We're (mostly) Midwesterners dammit, and that means that I like my scenery flat and stark, my belt rusty, and my questions a little rude and direct. And my answers also a little rude and direct, because in the case of this one the answer was ALL OF THE ABOVE also Monica duh.
Here's the other thing: you guys are some of the most ridiculously creative people I can imagine, and I am somewhat afraid that by sharing these with the world, I am giving Jason a reason to can my ass and bring you guys in. Seriously, start writing some blog posts and whatnot, because this stuff is straight gold Jerry, gold. Nobody likes a "Jim Tressel is an old nerd" joke more than I do, and one as well constructed as this one deserves attention and praise.
I love you, gumtape. Also: Mr. Hand. Easy.
Again, thanks to all of you guys for listening and giving us a reason to continue doing what we're doing. You are awesome, and really represent what 11W is all about. We'll keep you updated through Spring Football and beyond, and we hope that you'll keep listening and writing in to us. See you guys next week!