The Mount Rushmore of Cliches

By Johnny Ginter on February 18, 2014 at 11:15a
(L to R) Bayless, Cowherd, Finebaum, Smith
98 Comments

Aaron Craft is a gamer. Just a gutsy, hard-nosed player with an eye for the ball. A four year starter (who seems like he's been around forever), Craft is a scrappy natural leader who garners respect from both teammates and coaches. The heart and guts that he plays with is evident, and I know I wouldn't mind one of my little cousins dating a fine young man like that. He's also deceptively athletic, despite being one of the smartest players that you'll ever see take the court.

Yep, Aaron Craft is one heck of an adjective noun adjective, and I'll always remember the time that [anecdote about Rubix cubes or pre-med or whatever].

Sorry, I got lost in Aaron Craft's dreamy eyes for a second, but I meant every word of that. I also believe that Amir Williams has "untapped potential," that Braxton Miller is a "tough, slippery guy" and that Urban Meyer is an "aggressive coach and recruiter." Bradley Roby is fast, Ryan Shazier is hard nosed, Sam Thompson is an elite athlete, Johnny Manziel is a douche, Nick Saban is a control freak, Mike Leach is literally insane, and none of the aforementioned players and coaches have any personality traits beyond what I've just described. I know this because TV and the internet and radio told me so.

Which brings me to my topic. A few days ago, in the leadup to the NBA All-Star game, LeBron James was asked who should be on the "Mount Rushmore" of NBA players. He gave a very safe, predictable answer to an incredibly boring question that's been asked a million times, so naturally that has provoked a week-long reaction of people debating whether or not LeBron short changed anyone. Bill Russell even got involved for some reason, but given that snubs are the electricity that have recharged Russell's anger-powered internal battery for like 80 years, maybe that's not a huge shock.

Anyway, the real annoyance here is that in lieu of even giving players one character detail which they obsessively harp on, sports writers have spent the past week or so patting themselves on the back for figuring out a new way to ask "Who's the best ever?" as if that were a novel or interesting question to talk about.

It isn't, and as an addendum to this really lazy week of sportswriting I've decided to make my Mount Rushmore of sports cliches as applied to players. Ohio State fans like you and I are subjected to a ton of them, and it's important to recognize them before they grab you with their claws.

1. Guts

Guts is probably the most baffling cliche that I can think of, and a pretty good example of why these overused descriptors are destroying the English language.

I have no idea what "guts" is supposed to mean. For instance, I'm terrified of heights. Hate 'em. So in my estimation, a skydiver or a ski jumper or an Olympic diver has way, way more guts than a person who tackles other dudes for a living.

But really, what makes "guts" or "tough" or whathaveyou so stupid and awful is that they're usually used in the context of an injury. Someone who plays through obvious pain is gutsy. Someone who plays with an injury is scrappy. Which is all well and good, except someone who plays with a concussion could wind up dead. But we don't like to think about the long term ramifications of playing with severe injuries, because images like Byron Leftwich being carried to the line of scrimmage by his teammates is a much more pleasing memory. Apparently.

2. Brains

I am willing to admit that there are some legitimately dumb athletes, at least in terms of their sport (there are many, many dumb athletes in terms of say, the ACT, but that's beside the point).

SO DREAMY
How much do we really know about this kid?

But "brains" and "intelligence" are used all the time as modifiers for athletes that oftentimes don't deserve it, and aren't given to players that do. Aaron Craft, to use one lightning rod example, is often called one of the smartest players in the Big Ten, and not because of his GPA or whatever, but because of his defensive prowess. Great.

Except that he continues to struggle with turning the ball over, something that has caused Ohio State trouble at key times in game sin the past. Contrast that with a guy like Braxton Miller, who in three years has only had one multi-interception game, yet rarely gets credit for his decision making skills.

3. Athleticism

Ah, but Braxton sure is athletic, isn't he? Sam Thompson sure can jump out of an arena, can't he?

There's definitely a weird racial component to the adjectives that we assign players, but it's weird and complicated and not just based on any one thing. My argument is this: players of any sport at a high level are all incredible athletes in one way or another. Peyton Manning with his shirt off looks like some goober gas station attendant in a 1970s movie about a swamp monster, but he's still athletically gifted and everyone will acknowledge that.

Contrast that with a guy like Pitt Brown, who we constantly ragged on this past season for poor play, yet is still about five times the athlete in terms of strength and conditioning that your average internet denizen is in real life.

They're all athletes. The problem is that we give that title to players we're too lazy to find out anything more about.

4. "Terrific young man"

This is the Abraham Lincoln on the Mount Rushmore of Horrible Sports Cliches That Need to Die.

How many times will a play by play man or color commentator extol the virtues of a given player, usually using some combination of the above words, and then finish it off with "...and he's a terrific young man, respectful, and well-spoken." What tangible benefit do you get from knowing that your favorite athlete isn't a huge asshole? Because yeah, while many perceived knuckleheads are exactly that, a lot of the players that we think of shining examples of virtue are anything but.

The truth is, we want to believe that the people we root for in sports are good people because that justifies our investment in what they do. If we're rooting for a jerk who we know is a jerk, then guess what? We're now jerks by proxy, one of the worst things by proxy that you can be.

I'm not against this in theory. If someone is deadbeat dad or a drug addict or abusive, I want to know so I'm not defending a bad person. But in sports, particularly college sports, there's really no way of knowing who's putting on a nice face for the cameras and who is genuinely a decent dude or dudette. So we continue to insist that sportscasters and writers assure us that our trust isn't misplaced, and anxiously wait for the police blotter to remind us that sometimes it is.


What I'm calling for here is nuance.

People, especially athletes in the public eye, don't deserve to be put into singular boxes that offer up easy definitions about their overall being. And if you can't come up with something more than that, than maybe that's not the right approach to be taking when talking about them.

A few days ago, Bode Miller won a bronze medal in the Super-G event at the Sochi Olympics. NBC, in the post race interview, prodded him with questions about his recently deceased brother until he eventually broke down and cried while being recorded. For NBC, that was the climax of a narrative they had built about Miller over the preceding days, which included putting a microphone on his wife and talking about his age ad nauseam.

Here was the old dog of American skiing, far removed from his glory days, giving it one last shot for his new wife, his kids, and most of all for his brother who recently died tragically. American flags, hot dogs, fireworks, kids on rope swings jumping into a lake while John Cougar Mellencamp blasts in the background.

It was all very invasive and saccharine and made for television, and of course conveniently left off the part where Miller is in an ugly custody battle involving his ex-wife who is being penalized for moving to New York City to attend law school while she was pregnant.

I don't know if any of that makes Bode Miler a hero or a jerk or a redemption story or what, but what I do know is that he made a spectacular recovery on the second turn of his Super-G race to preserve his chance at a medal. His skis hit a soft patch of snow, but Miller was able to correctly shift his weight to both avoid wiping out and preserve his path down the mountain. The mechanics and analysis of that instance of legitimate athletic brilliance, not what exact words of encouragement that Bode Miller's new wife shouted during that moment, are what I think is interesting about sports.

Let's see more of that.

98 Comments

Comments

BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

"Johnny Manziel is a douche"

Couldn't agree with you more.

+8 HS
buckeyeEddie27's picture

"That guy's a football player"  - well no shit.  he has a uniform on.

"Hurtin' Buckaroo"   - I could live a thousand lifetimes without ever hearing that again and it would still be too soon.

"He's a very Cerebral player"  - Turn in your mic.  You're Drunk.

"blah blah blah in space"  - as read by Jesse Douche Palmer types describing a difficult to tackle anything

 

 

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

+12 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

"They didn't play Stanford football" will always be his best work.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

+17 HS
buckeyeEddie27's picture

without a doubt.  

 

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

+1 HS
Killer nuts's picture

Nice article and a good reminder that we really know exceedingly little about the athletes themselves that we invest so much time, energy, and emotion into watching. That said, Craft has guts, heart, and brains. And Slam is ridiculously athletic.

+4 HS
Buckeyevstheworld's picture

The 2nd one was clearly a case of "No blood. No foul".

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

acBuckeye's picture

In today's episode of "You Know It's Not Football Season When....."

+7 HS
cdubs's picture

It's not just the writing, a lot of sports reporters are lazy in their press conferences and interviews.  For whatever reason it's like nails on a chalkboard to me when a reporter tells some coach/player/whoever "Talk about X." It's like "Hey, I don't have time to figure out how to put this in the form of a question just give me my damn sound bite."

Listen for it in the next presser you watch and make a drinking game out of it. You'll be obliterated by the end of it.

+1 HS
BuckeyeInOrlando's picture

11W definitely belongs on the Mount Rushmore of the Internet.

+5 HS
Viqsi's picture

The problem is that there's way, way too many people out there who just don't do nuance. And thanks to the lowest-common-denominator approach to marketing that rules the world (because surely that gets everybody, right?) that means that those sorts of people become the target audience for, well, everybody.

What's that, you say? You want data with which to form more sophisticated opinions and take an interest in details that aren't typical water cooler soap opera gossip? Sorry, can't hear you; too busy trying to force a misinterpretable money quote out of this guy so we can sell a few copies and I can get noticed by my editor.

BucksFan2000's picture

Isiah Thomas is waiting on point 5...

dumpus's picture

"he's a terrific young man."

this one might be the most intellectually cowardly one of all: if you pay enough attention to the context of this cliche, it's almost always used by an old white male commentator as a derisive euphamism for saying that a black athlete talks and acts like a white kid in that "good, wholesome, civil" sense.  

"he can shoot, he can pass, he can defend, he has great grades, and he's just a terrific young man." = "he can shoot, he can pass, he can defend, he has great grades, and by golly you'd swear he was white if you weren't lookin right at him."

-3 HS
Viqsi's picture

...except that I also see it used all the time in hockey to describe white athletes, so that's not the whole story.

I think it's more a statement of "this guy is easier to get along with than I expected". It's the implied expectations that make it potentially borderline racist, not necessarily the statement itself.

+6 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

How long have you been able to read minds? Do you have any other superpowers?
 

+3 HS
hansman's picture

I'm not really sure why you brought race into this. I think this one is mainly used for any athlete that seems to do a whole lot of things right (on and off the court/field/etc.) and stays out of trouble regardless of what color they are.

+3 HS
bukyze's picture

He gave a 110%, which is literally impossible.

+2 HS
I_Run_The_Dave's picture

It's possible if you are comparing someone's level of effort to Amir Williams.  In that case you could get over 9000!

+4 HS
BroJim's picture

What?! Over 9000!!!! That can't be!

Classic DBZ

I season my simple food with hunger

+1 HS
Buckeye in Illini country's picture

Aaron Craft is the type of guy that I want my daughter to marry.

High (insert sport) IQ.

High motor (perfect for white defensive ends like JJ Watt and Chris Long).

 

Columbus to Pasadena: 35 hours.  We're on a road trip through the desert looking for strippers and cocaine... and Rose Bowl wins!

+2 HS
misterbulbous's picture

Most annoying is when ESPN runs the "LeBron Mt Rushmore" thing on their bottom line crawl for three days straight. 

jkrk's picture

Yeah, lots of turnovers so maybe Aaron Craft isn't always so brainy, but I love that he leaves it all out on the floor. Which apparently is good in sports, but my kids get in trouble for that.

NoVA Buckeye's picture

The real question is:

What is the Mt. Rushmore of Dick Vitale cliches?

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

+2 HS
Hovenaut's picture

"Something, something Cameron Cah-ray-zees"

Diaper Dandy Baby

Eat at Hooters

Notre Dame football, you know it baby

I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.

+8 HS
Killer nuts's picture

"It's Awesome, Baby" has to be on there. So does "Scintilating and sensational"

+2 HS
UFest57's picture

He's a "PTP-er" (prime time player)

+1 HS
Doc's picture

Oh PLEASE Johnny do this one for next week!  This would be funny at shit.  Please, please please, a thousand times please.

"Say my name."

Buckeye in Illini country's picture

It would be nice as this off-season's version of Johnny's B1G Lists.

Columbus to Pasadena: 35 hours.  We're on a road trip through the desert looking for strippers and cocaine... and Rose Bowl wins!

buckeyeEddie27's picture

Another one that I think is just terrible is when commentators use the phrase "very well spoken" to describe (and usually exclusively) young black college athletes.  That is so damn condescending in my opinion.  It's like wow, your amazed he or she can form a well structured sentence and speak that sentence clearly?  You're amazed it's not incomprehensible ghetto slang delivered with "knaw'i-means" throughout?  I know that there are some guys out there that just don't have a knack for speaking publicly, on camera or might still have a lingering propensity to use slang but c'mon.  You don't need to highlight the fact on national TV that he or she can TALK.  They might as well say: "He can score touchdowns and you don't get that Hood jibber jabber when you ask him how he does it!  He's great!"     Gimme a break.

I know there's a game Saturday, and my ass will be there.

+8 HS
dumpus's picture

that is even more closet-racist than "he's a terrific kid".  well put.

-1 HS
Denny's picture

Yes yes yes

Taquitos.

OSU_ALUM_05's picture

Not only does he speak well, but he's also very articulate.  

+2 HS
buckeyedude's picture

That sounds like a Yogi Bearism.

 

 

PittBuckeye's picture

"Hood jibber jabber"

That's just good humor there I don't care who you are.

+1 HS
Citrus's picture

Because of access to information, sports consumers (all consumers really) are smarter than ever. I see this trend continuing and eventually sports journalism won't be able to get away with being the regurgitive ignorant ooze it is today.

I propose an invention. A "smart analysis" button. When watching a sporting event, one could press this button and be treated to Ross Fultonesque breakdowns instead of cliche filled crap. It would be like a SAP button.

+2 HS
ibuck's picture

Citrus: eventually sports journalism won't be able to get away with being the regurgitive ignorant ooze it is today.

I hope you're correct about this, but how do we call them on it?

Just take a look at the AP story about any college football game. This recap is very brief, states very few facts, rarely captures the essence of the game, and usually tells the few included facts out of order. It feels like it was written by the most inexperienced, newly-hired, unsophisticated reporter with a press credential—as if it were rookie hazing. Yet there is no byline, so who is responsible? 

With all the media credentials a school hands out, you would think you'd get something better from the accumulated centuries of experience of the attending writers. The stories they file for their own paper / media group are more expansive, and probably better, but the AP file story just reeks of insufficiency. 

Our honor defend, we will fight to the end !

If you can't win your conference, just quietly accept your non-playoff bowl game.

GoBucks713's picture

"He's very athletic"

 

No Shit pal, he's on scholarship. And I really hate it when they say it about professional athletes.

"He's so athletic"

Thank you Captain Obvioius.

But my head would seriously explode if I ever heard Madden talk about how athletic Brett Favre is.

-The Aristocrats!

+2 HS
Norwalk's picture

My 2 cents, at the end of the day...It is what it is.

+7 HS
PittBuckeye's picture

Not to mention eloquent.

jkrk's picture

I didn't realize this turned into a Luke Fickell quotes thread.

+1 HS
CALPOPPY's picture

Why? DID WE WIN??!!!

I'm a hurtin' buckaroo.

+5 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

AHEM...

"The next Percy Harvin"!

 

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

+4 HS
PittBuckeye's picture

I am legitimately upset that you beat me to this.

+1 HS
Jack Fu's picture

For me, the worst is "winner." "That guy is just a winner." Bullshit. No one possesses the inherent attribute of "winner." Players and coaches work hard and try their best. Everyone loses sometimes. "Winner" is dumb, lazy sports-speak for "I really like this player/coach." Great, give us real reasons why.

+2 HS
vitaminB's picture

Some guys care more about their personal stats than they do about winning.  We've all seen those guys who at the end of the game, just go, Oh well, maybe next time.

Jack Fu's picture

So? If my old ass went out there with a bunch of my friends, and we worked like crazy, tried our hardest to win, didn't care one whit about what our personal stats were, and got trounced 85-20, would that make us "winners"? Would we be imbued with the mystical ability of "winner"? No. I will turn to the venerable Ken Pomeroy for elaboration:

"Allow me a moment to discuss one of my biggest pet peeves: labeling a player a 'winner.' Because what happens when your winner starts losing. Isn’t he a 'loser'? I mean if you’re fair, he’s a loser. Of course, nobody is so cruel to call an amateur sportsman a loser. That’s part of the reason why the winner label is just a lazy feel-good thing to explain something that has a less-mystical explanation. It all seems so arbitrary, too. Like, why isn’t Cleanthony Early called a winner? He’s won 52 of 61 games during his career, been to a Final Four, and was part of a team that beat Ohio State while the guy most-often labeled a winner shot 2-of-12 from the field."

Labeling a player a "winner," outside of the context of a single game (i.e., "that player/team won the game, and is/are therefore the winner/s of that game"), is lazy and dumb.

-1 HS
Squirrel Master's picture

No one possesses the inherent attribute of "winner."

I beg to differ,

 

I saw a UFO once.......it told me to have a goodyear!

+5 HS
Jack Fu's picture

Well if a guy's got tiger blood you make exceptions.

+1 HS
Fear The Elf's picture

This. A trillion times this.

 

The odd thing is that it is almost solely attributed to "team" sports, and never individual sports. Roger Federer would fit the description because HE wins matches by himself.

It is most infuriating when discussing QBs. Football is the only major team sport where players don't play 2 ways (special teamers notwithstanding). QBs are literally uninvolved with with defense and special teams. Yet we always here "This QB is 8-4 in these situations". No, extremely lazy sportswriter, the team is 8-4, defense included.

+2 HS
buckskin's picture

Thank you Johnny, some of these words make me go WTF? 

HIGH CEILING!!  This drives me insane.  I get what they're trying to say about potential, but everyone who doesn't fit the 5 star mode gets labeled with this. 

 

+1 HS
southernstatesbuckeye's picture

Johnny,

Very intelligent piece.  You've got a lot of guts to put that out there, and I, for one, think you're a terrific young man with tons of upside potential.

Now just start working out and becoming more athletic, will ya?

+2 HS
Johnny Ginter's picture

im actually in pretty good shape but whenever i go to the gym and get a little full of myself i just remember that the average collegiate punter still would probably destroy me in the weight room

Jack Fu's picture

WINGSPAN HIGH MOTOR LONG JUST HAVING FUN OUT THERE

+1 HS
southernstatesbuckeye's picture

It's ok, man.  I'm ugly, fat, and old.

LouBuck35's picture

The flip side to the condesceding "well spoken" comment particularly applies to football.  ANY white wide receiver is a "slot guy" , "great possession receiver", also insert "great route runner", "works hard at his craft" and a plethora of other no brainers.  They is also always either "shifty" or "quick" - but don't you ever say they are fast.  See: Anthony Gonzalez, Wes Welker, Austin Collie, Brandon Stokely etc.

I want a fall Saturday in Ohio Stadium..

+1 HS
OSU_ALUM_05's picture

That guy has a real nose for the ball.

 

+6 HS
DJ Byrnes's picture

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Furious George 27's picture

Yes, apparently Cardiac Kid is not familiar with Teddy Roosevelt being a pretty much bad ass.

Yeah, well…that’s just like, your opinion, man.

+2 HS
BuckeyeMark's picture

where is the upvote one million times button when you need it?  TR is one of our top Presidents ever, and as a bonus, saved football.  A real gamer who gave 110% and was very well spoken.  

+4 HS
OSU_ALUM_05's picture

Also, if you'd like to have your mind blown for a second ..... apparently Teddy was a kid watching the Lincoln funeral procession outside his window.  The picture isn't clear enough for me to tell, but that's the story.

 

+1 HS
buckeyedude's picture

That was a president with some serious moxie. He was a manly man. Very athletic.

 

 

Arizona_Buckeye's picture

Johnny - you are a terrific young man!

The best thing about Pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced

albinomosquito's picture

you left out 'hurtin buckaroo"..  

CALPOPPY's picture

But it's always in my heart...and my signature here.

I'm a hurtin' buckaroo.

sharks's picture

I'm sick of hearing about how great receivers 'high point' the ball. Like not waiting flatfooted for the ball to land in your gut is a new or complex idea.

The postgame show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. The hell with it...

buckskin's picture

I wish our receivers got so sick of hearing "high point" that they'd actually do it.

+1 HS
buckeyeradar's picture

My favorite "that was a freshman mistake".

Buckeye in Texas

scrotieMcboogerballs's picture

"(Team A) can ill-afford to lose (Insert Player name)"....that has to be one of the worst, I believe first uttered by Brent Musberger

"Who do you think you are?!?!...I am!!"  -Pete Weber, bowling legend and dominator of the English language

toledobuckeyefanjim's picture

Anything that comes out of Mike Mayock's mouth is a cliche.

scrotieMcboogerballs's picture

And I am also tired of basketball announcers calling a player taking a charge a 'hustle-play'...It is a bailout for a player choosing to NOT play defense and fall down instead

"Who do you think you are?!?!...I am!!"  -Pete Weber, bowling legend and dominator of the English language

MN Buckeye's picture

No offense, scrotie, but I lol every time I see your name.

+1 HS
d5k's picture

That Bode Miller interview literally made me throw up in my mouth a little.  But I'm a glass half empty kind of guy.  I wish I had a nickel every time someone used a cliche, then I would be a rich man.  

Just my two cents.  Don't shoot the messenger.

+2 HS
MN Buckeye's picture

The Bode Miller interview was outright disgusting. Aside from his personal life, the NBC interviewer was completely in the wrong.

+1 HS
4cardpoker's picture

Tired of hearing Austin Carr saying " Deep in the Q" after every made 3 and " Throw the hammer down" after every dunk.  It gets old AC....

Deadly Nuts's picture

"An athlete playing QB", sounds familiar, eh?

LEBRON

Fear The Elf's picture

"There are lies, damn lies and statistics"

So glad 11W embraces advanced analytics. So sick of sportswriters dismiss advanced stats because they don't understand them.

Run_Fido_Run's picture

The point is that you can make statistics say whatever you want them to say. You can also make words say whatever you want them to say. Acknowledging that doesn't undervalue the importance of words; it reminds you to be skeptical about what you're reading or hearing.

+1 HS
Denny's picture

I bet that Johnny has horse meat on his Mount Rushmore of meats.

Taquitos.

+4 HS
benlight01's picture

The best in-game team I've ever heard was UFM and Spielman for that one year on ESPN, because they didn't use those cliches. They'd spend half the game discussing concepts like gap technique and constraint plays and it was riveting. Learned more from listening to them for a few minutes than in years of playing as a kid.

xrox's picture

The one that I personally hate is "one of the great..."

It's such a cop out. You can say "He's one of the greatest." You can say "He's the greatest." Hell, you can even just say "He's great."

"One of the great" is just trying to sound more intelligent by using more words. You aren't saying anything more profound when you use that phrase.

+1 HS
The Rill Dill's picture

'Read Option'...........EVERY option is a 'read' option.

 

'Zone Read'.......you are NOT 'reading' a zone, at all.  You are 'reading' a man.

-1 HS
ibuck's picture

Good story, and many good comments.  Way to go, 11W & fans.

Our honor defend, we will fight to the end !

If you can't win your conference, just quietly accept your non-playoff bowl game.

BeijingBucks's picture

This actually really got moving with the rise of ESPN Sportcenter as the main source of daily sports intake.  The Chris Berman's of the world had to come up with hourly expletives to sensationalise the mundane which previously was preserved for just an occasional newspaper headline or monthly article, TV commentary became more about 'color' to try to appeal to the masses rather than play-by-play.  At least Madden's sometimes over-done analysis was vaguely intelligent... until a video game series endorsed him and we had to hear his one liners ad infinitum, ad nauseum. credo quia absurdum est!

Having completely used up the thesaurus of their known glossary of terms the media suddenly realised people reacted positively to made-up shit they said that sounded fun!  Science be damned....

Perhaps there was a realisation the audience was largely smarter but less informed than they were that forced sportscasters to slip into easy announcing ruts?  Perhaps it was like Clooney said in Up in the Air "I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster."

 

 

None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. ~ John Milton

BeijingBucks's picture

then again i am now living in the true land of hyperbole...

 

 

None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. ~ John Milton

Joe Beale's picture

"Athleticism" should be #1, as in the one that really needs to go. It's the ultimate lazy commentator's go-to phrase.

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

Meanwhile, Karl Malone, the NBA's No. 2 all-time leading scorer, couldn't care less that James didn't even think about including him as a solid candidate for Mount Rushmore.

"I've been left out of lot of things before, but I'm still here," Malone said. "I don't have a Mount Rushmore.

"They don't have any hunting or fishing up there. Hell, I don't have any business up there anyway."

How can you not love Karl Malone?

 

Johnny Ginter's picture

more like how can karl malone not love his own son, am i right
 

Chise47's picture

"He has 'it', I can't describe it, but he has it."

AJBor41's picture

I think you briefly touched on this in your Craft description, but "deceptively athletic" (along with deceptively fast/agile, etc.) = caucasian, yes?

tennbuckeye19's picture

Whenever I hear a coach say "he's the first guy in the gym and last one to leave" I crack up. Especially when I've heard them say it about multiple players. I picture several players all getting to the gym as early as possible and fighting to get in the door first and then waiting around at night to be the last to go, just so the coach can say that about them. 

Doc's picture

Let us not forget our very own Clark Kellog's "spertability".  Every time I hear that one I think of 

 

"Say my name."

+1 HS
Run_Fido_Run's picture

Yes, indeed, Selma is most definitely well equipped to spur the quality of which Kellogg speaks.