FirePinkel.com

October 8, 2012 at 4:12p    by Jason Priestas    
20 Comments
Usually, these sites are stale, but this one is pure gold. (firepinkel.com)
Source: firepinkel.com/

Comments

ccollins0325's picture

Their blog page at http://missouritigers.com/blog.php is pretty funny, too.

Nick's picture

their key to the first SEC win is to play kentucky, vandy or ole miss

BTwrestle04's picture

They already lost to Vandy lol

millertime2011's picture

Keys to Not Losing By 76 Points to Alabama
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by Iam4Mizzou , Today at 02:30 PM (73 Views)

1. First of all, 76 is not divisible by 7. Alabama would have to do some crazy math to reach 76. I feel comfortable that 76 will not be achieved.
2. That's all I got.

Bucksfan's picture

WOW.  10TDS+10XPs+2 FGs = 76 points.
Edit:  Ah, it is a sarcastic blog.  forehead-slap.

NoVA Buckeye's picture

That's still crazy math to Wal-Mart 'Bama fans.

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

Buckeye Black's picture

Every number besides 1 is an achievable football score.

OSUStu's picture

Actually, I believe in NCAA rules you can score 1 point off a safety during a PAT.

If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.  ~ Bruce Lee

tennbuckeye19's picture

I had no idea about Pinkel's love of dogs. 
And that accompanying blog is pretty hilarious. 

buckeyestu's picture

life in the sec is tougher than the big 12, pinkel may want to get his resume typed up. maybe strong winds up at missouri?

jestertcf's picture

I am pretty sure this is all one guy, check out all the posts are the same handle.

~Because we couldn't go for three~

SouthBayBuckeye's picture

The Glenn Logan post if pretty hilarious. "Glenn Logan is the father of all 5,000,000 Mizzou students"

Banned from ATO since June 3rd 2PMish PST

Bucks43201's picture

hilarious --- copied & pasted a few gems...
 
MARK RICHT'S CABBAGE PATCH KID OBSESSION - missouritigers.com exclusive
by Iam4Mizzou, 09-05-2012 at 08:08 PM
Athens, Georgia - "Hiiiiiiiiiiii," he says in a baby voice. Georgia football coach Mark Richt has arranged a play date for his Cabbage Patch Kid Courtney. Richt and his adult playmates have an elaborate set up in his backyard including a merry-go-round, miniature lake (aka pond) complete with boats and water, and pony rides.

This is a side of Richt few get to see. The manly coach who spends six days a week doing battle on the gridiron is a Cabbage Patch fanatic on his one day off.

"Sunday is my day," says Richt. "Well, it's our day," he says as a smile draws wide across his face. Richt gazes at his doll and tussles her hair.
"I like her yarn hair."

Richt isn't the only adult with this unusual interest. In fact, in Athens, Georgia, one out of three men own or have some suppressed interest in owning and/or playing with dolls.

"I've gotten more comfortable taking her to games. I think it's important. She needs to be exposed to football. She's shy. Someday she might take over as head coach," he says.

The play date lasts for hours. Richt and his pals feed their dolls, play with them and then put them down for a nap.
"Everyone needs a hobby. Mine is dolls." 
 
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Berkstresser Completes 11 of 6 Passes, Creates Quarterback Controversy at Missouri
by Iam4Mizzou, 09-01-2012 at 10:00 PM

September 1, 2012 Columbia, Missouri -- Redshirt freshman Corbin Berkstresser completed 11 of 6 passes versus Southeastern Louisiana Saturday night in mop up duties, creating a buzz and a quarterback controversy among fans.

"He completed all six passes and then completed another five passes that he didn't even throw," said Missouri super fan Tim Killmorning. "That's the definition of stud."

Missouri broadcaster Mike Kelly's call of Berkstresser's rushing touchdown summed it up:
Berkstresser runs across the Missouri 30, hit at the 40, falls forward to the 20, touchdown, Missouri! "He's a mountain of a man," said Kelly. "Mountainous and dangerous like a mountain with mountain lions and lightning. Don't climb him without proper safety equipment."

Berkstresser played down his performance.
"You could drive a scooter with two chicks through some of those holes. That is, if I drove a scooter. I don't." 
 
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Time to Refocus on the Devil Worshippers from Arizona
by Iam4Mizzou, 09-11-2012 at 04:57 AM
Arizona State is unapologetic. Most universities have mascots like lions, tigers and bears. Arizona State worships Satan. Why?
"Satan is awesome!" said first year Arizona State student Beelzebub Bloodbath as he carries a headless chicken around campus.

While Satanic rituals are common on campus, the student body has been unable to locate a virgin to sacrifice for about 12 years
 
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Tips for Missouri Fans for First SEC Game
by Iam4Mizzou, 09-07-2012 at 06:04 PM

1. When encountering a Georgia fan, do not make eye contact. Bow your head and assume a passive position.

2. Remember, every SEC fan knows more about football, tailgating and RVs than you do. You are like an ant trying to understand the internet. Know your place.

3. If Missouri makes a good play, apologize to the nearest Georgia fan. It was obviously pure luck.

4. DO NOT CHEER. This will be taken as an act of aggression.

5. Keep all food items locked up. Georgia fans can smell food from hundreds of yards away. Hang the food high on a clothes line.

6. Sometimes a Georgia fan will make a bluff charge. DO NOT RUN! They can run up to 35 mph and can climb trees.

7. If you find yourself attacked by a Georgia fan, fight back with everything you have. It is a myth that playing dead will cause them to lose interest. 
 
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Keys to Mizzou's First SEC Win
by Iam4Mizzou, 09-30-2012 at 11:05 AM
Now that we've gotten to know this team, here are the keys to Missouri's first SEC win as Vandy comes to Columbia next week:

1. High snaps. Snap that ball high. Get some big air under it. This will confuse the defense.

2. Get in as many third and long situations as possible.

3. When in a third and long, run a three yard out pattern for an incompletion. This will give our special teams more practice because they need it.

4. When inside the opponent's 50 and punting, punt the ball into the endzone. Why on God's green Earth would you try and angle a punt out of bounds inside the 10 yard line? That's poor sportsmanship.

5. Don't try running the ball until the 4th quarter.

6. When running the ball, line the running back up as far away from the quarterback as possible. Then put the running back in motion and have him run far to the other side of the field and then upfield for a one yard gain. He needs the work out.

7. NEVER LOOK DOWN FIELD. I realize we have one of the best wide receiver corps in the country and they tower over the defensive backs, but again, throwing down field is just poor sportsmanship. Keep the ball in front of the defense so they can tackle us. .
 
 
 
 

"You win with people." - Woody Hayes

painterlad's picture

That was some funny shiz.

To err is human. Really sucking requires having yellow stripes on your helmet.

buckeyedude's picture

Missouri will not be able to hire a better coach than Pinkel.
You're not in the Big 12 anymore.

 

 

Urbstache's picture

Iam4Mizzou is my freaking hero.

Urban Warfare

rkylet83's picture

Greatest cover page ever!  I just about died!

UrbanWoodrowEarlTressel's picture

This is hilarious
oh myyy