Michigan Considers Adding a Live Mascot

June 17, 2011 at 4:24p    by Jason Priestas    
12 Comments
12 Comments

Comments

cronimi's picture

Wait, didn't the last living Wolverine in Michigan die a couple years ago?  So that means they'd have to get the mascot from another state.  Let me guess:  They're going to recruit one from Ohio -- as usual.....

Joe Beale's picture

Actually, he died in March of last year, as I pointed out in my satirical "Lament For A Mascot" post. Check it out if you get a chance.

GunnersApe's picture

Yep,

Thinking about calling on the the "Bobcat".

 

AngelHeartsBuckeyes's picture

Oh cool, so they are going to have someone dressed as a real live pompus jack-ass. 

Awesome.

(sorry MMan, you know present company is excluded).

Buckeye born and bred. Buckeye til I'm dead.

M Man's picture

LOL.  I thought this might turn into something like the photo-caption thread.

By all means, keep up the humor...  For me, I was horrified by this story.  Any school (Michigan included) that so cravenly concocted a mascot for the purpose of expanding the brand platform to a younger demographic or whatever cockamamie MBA-speak notion that Dave Brandon had, deserves a very bad end.  For instance, one of the acrylic-fur-garbed dancing Wolverines getting arrested for 3rd degree criminal sexual assault in the first season.

I don't think it is going to happen.  Later in the day today, Brandon started to 'walk back' the story, saying that there is no plan for a Wolverine mascot, there's no study of a possible Wolverine mascot, and that there is no future timetable for the development of a Wolverine mascot.  He had been speaking off the cuff.  I'd have been happier if Brandon had said, "No we're not doing a mascot, not ever, and we might sue anyone who tries to create one."

I have nothing against mascots.  For the rest of you. 

The cutest mascot in the Big Ten is Bucky Badger.  The image of Bucky used to be on the Wisconsin helmets.  Before they made them look totally awful.  The best Wisconsin helmets -- the only good helmets ever designed in Madison -- were the all-red ones with Bucky on them.  That's some special status for any mascot.

The second best mascot in the Big Ten is Brutus.  Brutus has the distinction, quite unique among mascots, of actually having gotten better over the years.  The early-model Brutus or the 50's-60's would give small children nightmares, which is not the idea with mascots.  And let's face it; without Brutus, Ohio State football is still a totally happening, fearsome operation.  Without Bucky, they might as well just close down football in Wisconsin and play rugby.  It wouldn't matter, and nobody would know any better. 

Then there are all the rest of the Conference.  I am partial to the Boilermaker, because it just cannot be easy to design a gigantic cartoon Boilermaker, when nodoby has any idea who or what a Boilermaker is supposed to be.  The Nebraksa Cornhusker is okay, but you sort of need a halluncinogenic drug to make him really "happen."  Under those circumstances, barring a bad psychotropic reaction, the Cornhusker could be the best. 

The worst and most anemic Division III-level mascots are the Northwestern Wildcat and the Penn State Nittany Lion, which basically look like the hungover frat boys in Evanston and State College just went to their local costume rental stores and picked up the last, moth-eaten generic carnivore costume, hanging on a rusty hanger in the back of the store.  You could switch the two costumes (Mildcat and Nittany Lion), and no one would notice the difference. 

Last, but not really the worst, is Sparty.  Sparty is pathetic, not because it is as bad as the two aforementioned cats, but because the goddam thing just tries too hard.  Sparty is the Janice Dickinson of mascots.  Just stop it.  Sparty looks like Japanese-anime' on steroids.  Which is fitting, for MSU.

I figure that on average, there are 2.67 times in every college football season when we arrogant asses in Ann Arbor say to ourselves (we say it quietly, but we don't much care who hears us); See?  That's why we can be glad that we don't have a mascot!  We can laugh at those other mascots that were: stolen/got drunk and had a fight/urinated on the field/were arrested after the game/were arrested before the game/shown on Sportscenter as the butt of some preposterous fan-stunt/kicked out of school/shown not to have been attending the school at the time they were purportedly kicked out of that school/et cetera, et cetera.

NoVA Buckeye's picture

A wolverine mascot would look uglier than the Nittany Lion and Northwestern Wildcat's illegitimate offspring. This is something UM should stay away from.

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

robert goulet's picture

Oh, Northwestern is terrible.  Penn State (as with their uniforms, coach, and everything else they cling to) can at least claim "tradition" to cover up the fact that it just plain sucks.  But NW has no excuse for creating a cartoon like Willie Wildcat.  They're the last B10 school I would expect to have a mascot and I certainly wouldn't expect him to look like that.

As for UM, I used to be pissed that they didn't have a mascot, thinking that it furthered the contribution to arrogance of just being too good for a mascot.  Now, I'll be happy if Brandon backs off as I'm sure that any created mascot would magically become the best & most recognizable mascot in CFB, the same as your ridiculous helmet and repetitive & holier-than-thou fight song.

NW Buckeye's picture

M Man, Great evaluation of existing mascots, but I just can not agree with Bucky being number one.  Scarlet and Gray glasses here.  And, I gotta admit, I am more than a little intrigued with the idea of a mascot wolverine pacing the sidelines.  Too bad you don't like the idea - I think 11W could have a lot of fun with it.

M Man's picture

Too bad you don't like the idea - I think 11W could have a lot of fun with it.

Precisely my point.

As for UM, I used to be pissed that they didn't have a mascot, thinking that it furthered the contribution to arrogance of just being too good for a mascot.

Yep, I think that sums it up pretty well.

 

btw; here's the great 1969 Wisconsin helmet:

And the Badgers had a black version of the same helmet design, that they awarded to certain defensive players, if memory serves me.  I can't imagine the NCAA allowing that today; a few guys wearing black helmets. 

Also, it's not exactly true to say that Bucky is the only mascot to be immortalized on a Big Ten team's headgear; the 1966 "Game of the Century" Spartans had a quasi-existent version of Sparty on their helmets:

 

NoVA Buckeye's picture

i cant imagine wisco wearing those helmets nowadays. the all red would be awful

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

303 Buckeye's picture

yeah but those helmets are still exclusive

millermax10's picture

I'm all for Michigan getting a mascot, but I don't know how I'd feel about a live one on the sidelines. Not a huge fan of Bevo or any live mascots like that either. I'll take people in mascot costumes all day.