Twas the week before Christmas, after a week of a recruiting circus,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a walrus.
The pads were all arranged and cleaned by the crews,
In hopes that the NCAA will come with some news.
The players were practicing, preparing for Gators ,
While stories were being told by those that are haters.
And with Sarah and her Twitter, I with my tweets,
Had just settled our brains for this year’s defeats.
When out of nowhere came a bowl ban and some schollies,
I sprang to my computer and jumped my dog Holly.
Away to a new window I click on the tab,
Type in Elevenwarriors and gave enter a tap!
The gray box that appeared on the first page,
Gave the feeling of pain too much for my age.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a tad strong sanction, and comments “click here”.
With a few harsh words, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment I was about to feel sick.
More rapid than eagles the cursing they came,
And we screamed, and shouted, and called them by names!
"Now Tressel! now, Smith! now, Pryor and Posey!
Come on, Boom! Come on, Hall! Stop imposing!
To the top of the BigTen! to the bottom of football!
Now go away! go away! go away all!" (all except Hall!)
As I dry heave with a bit of vomit in my throat,
The sugar in my coffee continues to float.
So down to the section I enjoy the most,
With the comments a coming, and Tressel to roast.
And then, in a twinkling, I read for some proof
That recruits will be staying and playing under our roof.
As I drew in my breath, and relaxed just a bit,
I realized that this was not that much of a hit.
One bowl ban in a year of growing,
Braxton Miller will develop his throwing.
A bundle of scholarships they will be losing,
Doesn’t mean much, cuz 5 stars they are choosing.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his smile did so too!
His cheeks were like roses, when his passion came through!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
As he fired arrows of knowledge they should know.
“This team is a winner, you all see that,
Wouldn’t you want a buckeye on your hat?
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his point,
“The NCAA loves us, they will not disappoint.”
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
“I know something, you’ll play in the Rose!”
So with that all said, screw the NCAA, And Gene smith too.
You both must hate us, and same back to you.
But most of all to my friends at EW,
"Happy Christmas to all, and no more Bollman to view!"