1. Braxton Miller, Junior. 6’2”, 220 lbs. Miller came a long way with his passing last year. He was still a little below average, but as a freshman he was uncorking bombs like Raul Ibanez. If he stays healthy, I think our worst-case scenario is going 13–0 and then watching in horror as C. J. Mosley repeatedly sticks Miller mid-juke like a lepidopterist pinning a butterfly. SABAN RUINS THE WHIMSY.
2. Kenny Guiton, Senior. 6’3”, 206 lbs. After the Purdue game, a commenter on this site said Guiton would never have to buy another beer in his life. That seems like an exaggeration. I’d buy him ONE beer. Look, my cable bill alone is like $160. Krenzel, he gets all the beers he wants, but even that’s a one night only deal. If he wants to drink with me all the time, he’s got to be a good friend and pony up. I’ve accomplished stuff too you know.
3. Cardale Jones, Freshman. 6’5”, 226 lbs. Jones is a big dude. Say, “we ain’t come to play SCHOOL” was pretty funny, but have you seen this? #LOL. I’m rooting for this kid. I want to yell “we ain’t come to play SCHOOL” at the TV as he tramples Northwestern d-linemen on his way into the endzone.
4. J. T. Barrett, Freshman. 6’1”, 205 lbs. Anybody as worried about Barrett’s knee as I am? James Andrews compared the inside of RGIII’s knee to a patch of FedEx turf. And Griffin got his ACL surgery at Baylor. I have nightmares of Barrett’s high-school lunch lady stuffing his knee with ground-up gym mats. THERE’S VERY LITTLE CARTILAGE IN THESE GYM MATS.
Outlook: Black quarterbacks will take all the snaps. Since Troy Smith and Terrelle Pryor, we’ve been Black Quarterback U. Everybody’s good with this, right? You’d have to be Clayton Bigsby to prefer Zwick, Boeckman, or Bauserman, Or my stepdad. He thinks black quarterbacks run too much because they’re me-first glory boys. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Ask Eric Crouch or Tommy Frazier: FIRST YOU RUN THE OPTION, THEN YOU GET THE MONEY, THEN YOU GET THE WOMEN. Meanwhile Tom Brady is living with Giselle Bundchen in a castle with a moat cause he’s so unselfish. What an idiot.
Comments
I hope you credited 'slightly racist Jim Rome' for this piece.... I kid.
In all seriousness though, good write up. You can't go wrong with embedded links + satire.
Thanks!
Was just going to say that Cardale's newfound love for mathematics might have something to do with the fact that his teacher is HOT.
"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
Whatever it takes to love math
2013. Braxton, 2014. Braxton. Winner between Barrett or Watson/Barker takes us from there. Cardale transfers or lives as a backup.
Cardale is like Jamarcus Russell....he could be big time in up the gut qb runs on short yardarge situations if they ever use him and he has a cannon like troy smith's arm.....it could be interesting with him in there but I'm happy with miller and then more than likely barrett
Let's see Joe Bauserman couldn't throw a pass to save a lick, neither could Bellisari, and I'll save my critic on Krenzel's spirals for another day... I just want winners and I see three on this squad and would like the fourth to go to class for a while...
Thanks for all the laughs there!
Good article...you lost me on the black qb stuff but still...
“There’s one thing I have learned through all my adventures and conquests - it’s that some people are just wired for success. I had no choice when it came to being great - I just am great.” – Kenny Powers
I am really not sure how I feel about Cardale going forward.
As for Barrett, guys rebound from knee injuries all the time. Believe me, doctors and physical therapists and trainers will monitor everything and do everything possible for a full recovery. I can tell you first hand what it is like to tear the MCL, ACL, and meniscus (the unhappy triad) and it sucks. I tore mine in September and I just started running/jogging on it this past Saturday. But when you have the OSU medical staff monitoring every move of the rehab, I would not be concerned because you can make a full recovery or something very close to it. Considering that Barrett is under little pressure to play this year, likely to redshirt?!?!, he will have well over a full year (maybe more) to rehab and practice with it before he takes the field. I would not be concerned about his knee.
^ welcome to Buckeye Nation Adrian Peterson!
all jokes aside, good luck on the rehab. I had two major back surgeries and it took almost 9 months for me to run again.
Yeah thanks. I wish I was AP or had some of his athleticism!
It is progressing, may need another scope soon. But man, that is really rough, that is major. I hope you are progressing well!
But OSU doctors are really good. Dr. Kaeding (head football doctor) is really one of the best orthopedic surgeons and I have full confidence in the medical staff for Barrett. The ESPN All Access is a good indicator when you watch Jordan Hall's rehab and all that.
Black Quarterback U, baby!
Craig Krenzal would like a word please.
~Because we couldn't go for three~
Craig Krenzal is black? O_O
"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.
Who the hell is Craig Krenzal??
The world is full of kings & queens who'll blind your eyes & steal your dreams - it's heaven & hell - Ronnie James Dio.
Craig Krenzel if he were black.
"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.
Nice.
The world is full of kings & queens who'll blind your eyes & steal your dreams - it's heaven & hell - Ronnie James Dio.
nope, just a white boy who brought a ring back to Columbus.
~Because we couldn't go for three~
Ok? How is that relevant to what he posted?
"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.
Love Craig too!
Don't sleep on Cardale Jones.
Id actually really like to see cardale jones get a shot when grafting leaves. He can move really well for a big guy and has a cannon. And he also went to a juco for a year to put space between him and braxton. I just think it'd be sad for him to not ever get a shot
After watching Cardale's film he looks like a strong possibility after Braxton leaves. Of course, he will only play his senior year and then be done. After that, Barrett will start for 2 years since he is redshirting this year. We need to land a major QB in the 2014 class.. If not, for sure in the 2015 class.
Card ale will have 2 years to start if he wins the job. Last year he redshirted. Next year will be his redshirt freshman year and Braxton's junior year. Cardale went to a military HS for a fifth year, which doesn't count towards eligibility. He will be a redshirt junior when Braxton is gone.
"...they're midgits!"-Coach Kerry Coombs
ACL reconstructs in this day & age can be just as strong, if not stronger than the original. Nope, I am not worried one bit about JT Barrett. As for the color of the QBs - so long as they aren't Magenta. I admit it, I am completely racist against Magenta colored QBs...Or Muave.
The world is full of kings & queens who'll blind your eyes & steal your dreams - it's heaven & hell - Ronnie James Dio.
I guess Drew Barker is out of the queston?
"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
Drew Barker sucks.
I believe Drew Barker will commit to a SEC school before Urban and the staff offer. We are going to miss out on him. I really like his game. He's an accurate passer who can make plays with his legs when needed.
IMO...Barker doesn't get an offer...bc Meyer is all in with Watson (or someone else if Clemson keeps his commitment). Don't get deterred bc Watson didn't make it last weekend...he will. And he'll be the next African American to play at OSU...unless there's another one. It has little to do with race really to be quite honest...it's a player who fits the system being utilized at the time. It's low key racist to say that about Black QB U...look at Circle K...not as fast or elusive as our other QBs lately...however...he was fast and elusive enough to win a National Title. See...even Caucasians can run fast too...my HS football team had a RB named Jason Mowry that ran a 10.6 100 and a 4.4 forty. So white guys can be fast too...just not too many QBs;-)~
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
"I love football. I think it is most wonderful game in world and I despise to lose."
Woody Hayes 1913 - 1987
Last I checked, Tebow was white and he fit in fine with Urban Meyer's system. People make too much out of the color of the player of a certain 'position'. If the next 85 Buckeye QBs are black then maybe you have a case. It takes the right recruit for the coach, the system, etc. and that recruit has to recipricate and choose to go to that school. White, black, it doesn't matter to Meyer, OSU, or any of us as long as it produces results.
"Get him a body bag, Yeah!"
Baylor Medical Center is in Dallas and is a pretty good place. Less chance of staff unlike Cleveland
This is humorous, not only because you mispelled staph*, but also because you took a shot at one of the nation's best hospitals/cities for hospitals, in favor of a Med Center that is far inferior to the Clinic.
The annual U.S. News & World Report list of the United States' best hospitals is prepared by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. The list recognizes hospitals that excel in many specialties.
Rank
Hospital, Location
1.Johns Hopkins Hospital, Baltimore, Md.
2.Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn.
3.Cleveland Clinic, Ohio
4.Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston
5.University of California, Los Angeles Medical Center
6.New York Presbyterian Hospital, New York, N.Y.
7.Duke University Medical Center, Durham, N.C.
8.Barnes-Jewish Hospital, St. Louis, Mo.
9.University of California, San Francisco Medical Center, San Francisco, Calif.
10.University of Washington Medical Center, Seattle, Wash.
For the year 2006.
Read more: The Top Ten: America's Best Hospitals http://www.infoplease.com/toptens/besthospitals.html#ixzz2KgkvU13I
If you're going to have major surgery, I'd go with one of the best hospitals in the world, the Cleveland Clinic. I had a family member that had major surgery there recently, and I can completely understand why they are ranked so highly.
And ShamGod, if I had Tom Brady's $, I'd have a house with a moat. That is just a abbreviated moat though. A true moat encircles one's castle. Don't you ever watch movies?
"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
The moat didn't go all the way around the house?? I guess Giselle's still in play then, if we surprise her from behind.
^Yup. Had both knees reconstructed at The Clinic. Other doctors thought I'd need a replacement after 10 years. 15 years later and with a surgeon from Cleveland Clinic, I'm nowhere near needing a replacement.
Don't sleep on University Hospitals/Case Western either. Fabulous facilities and some of the best doctors in this time zone. Branches and hospitals are popping up all over Northeast Ohio. Cleveland is widely regarded as the best area for medical research in the country.
I kind of agree with him in that Baylor Medical Center is a good hospital. It may not be as good as the Cleveland Clinic but that list you just posted doesn't take into account several other hospitals that have some of the best doctors in the world. For example, Herman Memorial in Houston, TX where Dr. Hazim Saffi is. He is one of the worlds leading cardiologists and is the doctor who saved my life when my heart ruptured in 3 places. I've seen several doctors here after my divorce and I had to move back to Ohio that are very good cardiologists and they all know who Dr. Saffi is and every one of them will tell you he's the best.
Am I making a crack at the south....???? You decide;-) Just Kidding BTW...most of my Dad's side of his family are from KY or Tennessee...oops...may be I shouldn't have said that:-)
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you."
"I love football. I think it is most wonderful game in world and I despise to lose."
Woody Hayes 1913 - 1987
I think Barrett's knee is going to be fine. We have to remember that Barrett is supposed to be a more polished passer coming in than Braxton was. I believe he will run the ball less and take less hits.
Aw.
Did anyone see C Jones play in High School?
I know grades and sports IQ are not always correlated, but I do worry about a QB who got bad grades.
Unfortunately, odds are against us at winning NC with a black QB.
Only been three since 2000 ( Leak, Young and Newton ). So that's three in thirteen years or 23% chance. Odds are worse if you go back further, so I kept it "semi modern" era.
I am counting on one of the above mentioned or next years #1 QB recruit to break this trend and better yet reverse it !
Tee Martin
Would need to know how many black starters in FCS during that period to determine our odds
Cardale Jones is a redshirt Freshman this coming year. Next year will be his 2nd year of eligibility and then when Braxton is gone he will be a redshirt jr. That means he would have a shot at starting for 2 yrs.
"...they're midgits!"-Coach Kerry Coombs
Oops! I'll trust you, and make an edit.
I really hope that tOSU offers more qbs in the 2014 class
drew
Urban says Cardale Jones has grown to 6-6 245.
245 in a good way? lol
"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.
with mariotti here i dont see ppl exploding like that in a bad way... cardale may be a lot better of a prospect than a lot around here give him credit for
mark may wins douchebag of the year... again
very possibly, but you never know until camp
Worst case? Uhh I don't think so..could be alot worse things to happen than that. Settin yourself up for dissapointment big time.
Do you write professionally? Just curious.
Run_Fido's favorite word is strawman.
a) We could definitely lose a regular season game or two even if Braxton stays healthy. But getting beat down by Alabama in the title game, if that happened, would wreck me.
b) I'm in the industry, but calling myself a professional writer would reallllly be stretching it. Very flattering question tho; thanks!
Right on, good stuff brother.
Run_Fido's favorite word is strawman.
I'm looking forward to seeing Cardale Jones get some playing time. I was totally impressed after seeing him light someone up in the circle drill before the spring game. He certainly didn't look like a QB. Looks like he could dish out some punishment. I like the idea of an athletic 245# QB running the inverted veer.