My Cousin Georgie: Cam Newton is doomed

Roger's picture
November 18, 2010 at 5:37p
6 Comments

Hey, Cam, you're in Ala-frickin'-bama. You come from Florida. You stole a laptop. There is no way this is not going to trial!

This choice line from Newton's lawyer, George Lawson, is not exactly confidence inspiring:

"I am a million percent confident that Cam Newton took no money from no one," Lawson said Thursday. "I would suggest to you he knew nothing about any solicitation of any money from anyone."

Let me get this straight, you are 'a million percent confident' that he didn't take money from nobody? Or is it that he didn't not take money from somebody? The fact that you chose to phrase it that way does not make me a million percent confident that you are capable of convincing no one of nothing.

Also, are you suggesting that "he knew nothing" or you "would suggest if...". Why not just state that Cam has no knowledge of money being either solicited or transferred in any way connected to him?

If Cam Newton were to end up being innocent of any wrongdoing it would be a shame to see him go down due to clumsy lawyering.

Comments

Colin's picture

he better clear this up or he'll be hearing from the grammar nazi

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4vf8N6GpdM

 

Roger's picture

"A dangling participle..." *splat*

Is it Saturday Yet's picture

This is a Chewbacca Defense strategy.  Well done.

Doc's picture

HAHAHAHAH!!!!  South Park strikes again.

"Say my name."

Dean's picture

If this is true, then the problem is bigger than we all knew! Not only did he take money from you and me, but he took money from every single NCAA enforcement official! (among others...)