The Losing Effect: Michigan

Remy's picture
November 24, 2013 at 2:05a

The meltdown for That Team's fans continues again this week.

I have posted some of the gems from so you don't have to read all 259 posts.

The spelling and words are theirs, I will not correct them.

Man, is it good to be a Buckeye.

Michigan football in toy trains....


wouldn't be surprised if urbz put the subs in at half time to keep the score respectable to help hoke keep his job because if you were urbz, isn't that what you'd want?


I'd give anything to see Hoke rip Borges' heart out of his chest and kick him down the steps of the Big House next Saturday. Sadly, that won't happen. The team will be the sacrifice, while the fans clad in scarlet and gray chant and waive their arms wildly in the air to the beating drums, and we look on, like Short Round, in utter horror.


This is how bad it is

I went to ohio state, and my friends don't even give me shit after Michigan loses anymore. Its like theyre not even worth making fun of. They aren't even giving me crap about how they're going to kick our ass next week. Nothing, they know what's going to happen, I know what's going to happen, and that's all there is.


You know its gotten bad when:

    I really don't ever expect the offense to score all game
    I was pleasantly surprised at gaining 2 yds on an I-form running play
    performances like today are expected


...So, today I watched Devin (I gave up several games ago) Gardner drag through another wretched game of play calling by Al (the idiot) borgas.  Even though the offense gave up midway through the Penn State game, Brady (am-I-out-of-touch--or-just-overmatched) Hoke clapped his hands, and played his violin while Rome (or Ann Arbor) was burning.

So, in my humble opinion, here's what should happen:

1.  Fire the entire staff

2.  Apologize to the season ticket holders (profusely, before they all leave)

3.  Hire John Harbaugh or somebody of that caliber.

But sadly, here is what is going to happen:

1.  OSU beats UM 58-6
2.  Brandon gives Hoke a vote of confidence

3.  Al (the idiot) borgas tells us to be patient because it is really Denard's fault.....

4.  UM loses recruits (we didn't want those 5 stars anyway because we're Mediocre, dammit!)
5. UM goes 7-5 in 2014 and is premanently and forever labeled "University of Mediocre"                                           A2D2
Honestly, at this point I want OSU to beat us 2008 or 1968-style. The worse we look the better the chances that there are changes on the coaching staff.

*prepares to be slaughtered*                                                                                                                                                              Raging Bean
The first step..

We need accept that Brady's in over his head. Borges is trash of course, but pure and persistent incompetence on any side of the ball ultimately falls on the HC at this level. Especially when he has no answers himself on how to fix things. Poor Mattison. Poor Devin. Poor Fitz. Poor Denard. Poor Mike Cox. Poor us.

The Juiceman

Sad day

No points in 2nd half. Nothing new about AB. He just needs to go. Disgusted, but won't stop me from watching next Saturday.

Hope DG is not too hurt.

Also hope Harbaugh rumor is true, but doesn't look like it.


Fire Borges   

It is really not that difficult of a problem to solve?


There's a laughable rumor on The Site With Zero Credibility by That "Insider" suggesting that Michigan will pursue John—not Jim—Harbaugh, the coach who won a Super Bowl last season and then inked an extension. You can give up any hope of that happening now. It'll be less painful that way.


Man...After hearing Devin speak postgame, I didn't think I could be more sad.

Reading your post just made it worse.


Not saying it's credible in the least, but might as well  bring Vince Lombardi back from the dead and make him coach as long as we're making up ridiculous shit that won't happen.


I got nothing left.  1 more game and a crappy bowl.  This season has been a complete failure.  In his 3rd year, Hoke is the leader and the one I am holding responsible.  Fix it next year or find someone else that can.


Who would want to come here?

And have to listen to all this negativity.  Tired of all the excuses, let's stand behind these kids and cheer them on.


It was the players fault again

We coached better ... just sick thinking about Hokes post game no headset ramble.

UMMan 83

But no matter what, this year's worth of pain will be all over soon.

Except that Arizona is continuing to beat Oregon in the second quarter as I write this, meaning this season has a whole new flavor of pain to dish out upon me that I had not yet considered up till now.

Sigh.  BlowGoo

for the past 7 seasons UM's record is

Carr: 9-4

Rod: 15-22

Hoke:  30-11

total:  54-37

throw out 6 seasons with 4 wins each season over MAC schools and such (can you say "Delaware State"?) and the record zooms to 40-37.  win one, lose one, win one, lose one. 

It's the definition of Mediocre, Mr. Brandon.........

Never would have imagined

That this is where the program would be going into the The Game in year 3 under Hoke.  I don't know how anyone can have any confidence in this coaching staff.  People can say all they want about this team being young and Hoke being a great recruiter and I'll respond by saying this:

1. It seems like almost every player on offense has gotten worse during the season.  I would buy the "we're young" argument more if I saw improvement.  I don't.

2. We could get every 5* recruit on offense out there, but based on what we've seen, I think we'd just waste all that talent anyway.


Exactly! Gardner was a five star, elite 11 recruit with obvious physical talent and just look what this staff has turned him into.


Give us 4 Billion dollars please

I see no reason whatsoever to be the least bit optimistist about this team with the current coaching staff. I don't see any playerd development or game planning worth a damn. There is nothing this team does well, nothing.

New Kid On The Blog

RR is laughing

Another poor performance, can it get any worse? Yeah it can-stay tuned for next week’s game.


Fire 'em all. As Adam Rittenberg of ESPN said: It's time we stopped talking history and started making history. Hoke just doesn't cut it. Time to find someone who can.


Not buying the woo is Gardner BS

put Morris in or just hand the ball to a back every time.  WHAT'S THE WORSE THING THAT CAN HAPPEN - WE LOSE?????  Gardner's a great athlete, but not a leader or a QB.  Nuff fucking said.



you have no fucking idea if gardner is a leader or not, and peyton manning would look like shit with this offense.

matty blue

We've played one currently ranked team this year and we weren't in it at all. We won't be in the next one either.

Bobby Digital

That's he standard, huh? What a sad state of affairs. I wish they just concede next week. UM will need Christ under center to win. Anyone want to bet me the offensive game plan stays exactly the same?


My world is confused

RichRod in his 2nd year at Arizona is beating up on Oregon with a JUCO transfer qb. Hoke in year three with a 4/5 star quarterback was embarrassed this same day by Iowa.

Phinaeus Gage

...At this point, I have checked out. I don't even care anymore and I plan on skipping the game next Saturday to spend time with my wife. Until there are significant staff moves I can't support the product on the field. The team is soft and plays with no confidence. There is no leadership.

I'm out.  Crime Reporter


bigbadbuck's picture

I think I peed myself!

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, its a war room

Whoa Nellie's picture

God help me, I want this to never end.

“Don’t fear criticism. The stands are full of critics. They play no ball. They fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down on the field are the doers, they make mistakes because they attempt many things.”

jBarnes's picture

Nice post Remy.  You've got to Hand it to Hoke, he is a good recruiter.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”  ― Douglas Adams  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

InvertMyVeer's picture

I love the smell of wolverine tears in the winter... smells like victory!!! No mercy, Urban. Show em what a real contender looks like. 

Football is complicated...

popeurban's picture

What a sad state of affairs for them and the B1G.  I love it and hate it all at once.  Do I want a good Michigan and B1G at the cost of having to listen to Michigan fans?

Hovenaut's picture

I hear you, somewhat mixed myself.

But these M Go comments are at least worthy of a

Sensible Chuckle

We have filled the Braxton Miller position.

Toilrt Paper's picture

If Michigan played the way they did pre-Tressel era they would beat Wisconsin, Michigan State and Penn State, then those team's stock goes down. The Big Ten gains NOTHING if Michigan becomes relevant again. It is more fun this way. Since Carr's later years the only thing Michigan has is Miami of Ohio Bo and a bunch of titles won during the leather helmet era.

TMac's picture

The Meltdown is fantastic, all the more so, because they had this delusion of being competitive just a few short months ago.  I'm no longer sure that Hoke survives this season, at a minimum he is going to have to make some major changes to his coaching staff, and then need to compete for the B1G east next year. 

ONE Not Done!

Dayton Buckeye's picture

This made my morning. I love hearing from their delusional fans. They really do need to improve for the good of the league. They have brought in some good recruiting classes. Just not seeing it on the field.

LouBuck35's picture

Love this. I perused their boards a little as well. Funny how a select few are clamoring for the return of Llllllllloyd and Rich Rod to AA. Their fan base is going full on psych ward right now.

I want a fall Saturday in Ohio Stadium..

rightfield's picture

The best of times. *ichigan is horrible part II (part one was the RR experiment and part II is a michigan man sinking the ship). To boot we are undefeated the past 2 seasons. Wow, you can't dream this stuff up.  

Its good to be the king

DenBuck's picture

Thank you for the compilation. I was hoping that scum losing would not get overlooked in our grandeur! Rich Rod's success is hilarious in light of scum's misery. 

Buckeye For Life

Buckabroad's picture

Loved A2D2's reference to Nero with the playing violin while Rome / Ann Arbor is burning. Pretty astute comparison, too. Both were/are charismatic, but obese, quite insane and very poor leaders.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

geoffrsc's picture

Thanks, that was fun.

ATLBuckeye09's picture

One of the most arrogant fan bases in the entire country has been completely humbled! They are not only TOSU's Bitch but MSU's as well. This is to funny! I grew up in Detroit and lived through the Cooper years. I can't wait to visit at Christmas as I wear my Ohio State gear! Muck Fichigan!!

Because they wouldn't let me go for 3!
Woody Hayes 1913-1987

M5gatronBuckeye's picture

Haha wow these are hilarious. I just hope we play like we are capable of playing. Nothing makes me more proud to be a Buckeye than when we dominate ttun

"I play to win, whether during practice or a real game. And I will not let anything get in the way of me and my competitive enthusiasm to win"
Michael Jordan

Toilrt Paper's picture

In the picture of Hoke with his hand on his head I notice the kid wristbands were cutting off blood flow to his hand AND his dirty undershirt was hanging out beyond the short sleeve on his polo shirt. He really should take notice of how smartly Urban is dressed on the sideline. He could gain a small amount of respect by dressing the part of a Head Coach.

ToTheHouse's picture

It'll take more than a new-hokey-wardrobe to help THAT tent-n-awning repair. The University of Mediocre under this joker may NVR recover, at least as long as the Donut Klunker fails to deliver.  Unless he eats himself into a coma at the Choke-Hoke buffet. The Titanic never went down this fast...
AweSOME Remy, thx. Let's see a follow-up next Sunday ! 

To the NC House...Repeat gonna be Sah-weet!

MN Buckeye's picture

As always, Remy, great post. I am just getting to the schadenfreude part of my weekend, and you started it off remarkably well. While this does not guarantee a win, it is great to see the fear.

Doc's picture

I second this, Remy, great way to start the week. I really hope we pound the ever loving piss out of them this week. Urban will have the fellas ready to go. I don't see Flounder making it out of the season, I'm afraid his time is done in AA. Darn.

I'm hiding baby and I'm dreaming
I'm riding down your moonlight mile

Haybucks's picture

Only 1 more episode.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. -  Mark Twain


CentralFloridaBuckeye's picture

Me too.  Anyone know a site you can really get one of these.  Please post if they really exist. 

BeijingBucks's picture

Having been in school and watching the game with all those Mich fans during Des's heisman pose year... I cannot get enough of this pain.   I have even stopped making fun of Michigan since Tressel.  Ran into a guy in a cafe after their early season near misses and all I could offer was sympathy for being from Michigan.  He had no witty rejoinders.
bwahaha.  love. it.



None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. ~ John Milton

Qujo's picture

I love that Gardner was so brazen to wear #98 like he was paying homage to a Michig$n Heisman winner. All he is doing is bringing additional shame to those that mattered before him. Hilarious stuff!

"Tough times don't last, tough people do" - Gregory Peck