Sparty Doesn't Know

Ramzy Nasrallah's picture
February 27, 2013 at 11:02a

First, read this:

Press play. Wait for the music to begin.


Read along:

Sparty doesn't know,
That Jim Bollman and me,
Did it in the Shoe every Saturday.

We couldn't block,
And we couldn't throw,
And we couldn't score, and...

Sparty doesn't know, oh.
Sparty doesn't know-oh.
So don't tell Sparty!
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know.

Dantonio says they'll start winning,
But walrusball will have him spinning,

Cause Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know.
So don't tell Sparty.
Sparty doesn't knoooooow....

I can't believe Coach D's trusting,
While Jim's right behind him tuskin',

Sparty's got ten yards to go,
so Bollman dials up a throw.
It's a three-man rush,
and they get noth-ing.

Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Don't tell Sparty.
Cause Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't knoooooow....

They'll put on a show, everyone will go.
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't knoooooow....

The Wiild Wings Bowl, on hold
It's so cool when you get to go
In the fall, in the snow.
Laughing so hard, cuz...

Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know.

...he celebrates Ron Zook's birthday.

Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Sparty doesn't know,
Don't tell Sparty.
Sparty doesn't knoooooow....

Sparty will know,
Sparty has to know,
Sparty gotta know,
Gonna tell Sparty,
Gonna tell them myself.

Sparty has to know,
Sparty has to know,
Sparty has to,
Sparty has to,
Sparty has to go!

Sparty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Sparty)
Sparty doesn't know,
(Don't tell Sparty)
Sparty doesn't know...
Sparty gotta go!


The Vest-er's picture

Brilliant...because it's true.

Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.

ab42beerman's picture

Sweet Jesus.  Well done Ramzy.

Colorado Buckeye's picture


Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever!

Hovenaut's picture

I was just asked if I had been crying......

And I was. Good Lord.

National Champions

Buckeyeneer's picture

Baaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha (deep breath) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

BuckeyeSki's picture

Banned from BlackShoeDiaries since 2008. Crime: Slander/Defamation of Character Judgement: Guilty

dumpus's picture

whoever decides these types of things needs to start jocking the Pulitzer for blog posts.  seriously.  this is the greatest single thing i've ever seen on 11w.  2nd place isn't even on the map anymore.  well played, sir.

buckeyepastor's picture

Well played.   It's funny, because it's someone else's problem.  But it's also a bit sad.  At a time when the conference is desperately in need of better quality coaches, this is a step backward. First Illinois hires Beckman who is a nice guy but in way over his head, then Wisconsin makes a fairly weak hire, then we've got Ferentz giving up on the state of Florida, and now this?   
Delany should develop a list of coaches for which the conference has veto power over their being hired, and Bollman should be on that list.   

"Woody would have wanted it that way" 

mitchjacobsen01's picture

A show-cause for coaches with a track record of mediocrity?

syphon2677's picture

i like the way you think

sharks's picture

Just when you think Little Brother's offense hit bottom, they go out and buy shovels.

The postgame show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. The hell with it...

Alice in Aggieland's picture

Hell, I think they're bringing in the fracking equipment.

heartofabuckeye's picture

< hangs head and just sighs !

buckeye4life050233's picture

i woke up this morning saw on espn that bollman was to be the new oc at mstate and literally just couldn't help but laugh for a couple minutes straight......and then i talked to my dad and he said hey did you hear about bollman and i still laughed for a couple minutes straight........epic fail michigan state

buckeyedude's picture

Very nice!                          



MN Buckeye's picture

What the hell is Dantonio thinking? or not!

FitzBuck's picture

I was at a stop light in Columbus and jb shugarts false started.  When the walrus screws a kid up its for life.  

Fitzbuck | Toledo - Ohio's right armpit | "A troll by any other name is still a troll".

cajunbuckeye's picture

RAMZY continues to dominate the parody division of 11W. This one moves to #1 on my hit list!! Well done, Ramzy....well done.

An angry fan...rooting for an angry team...led by angry coaches

Knarcisi's picture

Oh, the insanity. Wish I could keep getting high pay work for poor performance.  So glad we have not gotten some coaches that had ties and seemed to be in line ... Glen Mason, Pelini ... add Dantonio to that list. Sparty goes Stone Age

Phillips.449's picture

Damn you for posting this!  Freaking song has been stuck in my head since about 5:48.

Haybucks's picture

Awesome. Let Craft give this to Couch.

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. - Irish proverb


Poison nuts's picture

One of those rare times the remake is better than the original...

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

RollBucks's picture

This is pretty great, but the original was genius. I haven't seen the movie in 2 years but the song still runs through my head on occasion.

Roll with it.

Unky Buck's picture

Any reference to Eurotrip is okay in my book!

If you jiggle your monitor, does that make a jiggly gif?

ArizonaBuckeye's picture

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." -Woody Hayes-