Illinois Drinking Game

Ramzy Nasrallah's picture
October 14, 2011 at 4:19p
10 Comments

Let's face it: The 2011 Ohio State football season is an exercise in humility. Between Nick Siciliano avoiding his true calling at Best Buy, Jim Bollman catching flying fish with his mouth and Joe Bauserman dropping scuds on innocent people, we might as well have a little fun.

Laughter helps ease the pain. You know what else helps ease the pain? Drinking games.

Here is a helpful chart for making what's sure to be yet another abysmal performance in Champaign on Saturday (in fairness, this happens with all Buckeye teams) at least somewhat entertaining. At least it might keep you in the bathroom instead of in front of your TV.

[The 11W legal team says that this game is only to be played by readers over the age of 21, that nobody should actually do this and that if you do choose to participate, anything you do to yourself or others is your fault and not ours.]

Action Drink
Bob Davie says:  
     "Footbaw" 1
     "Notruh Dame" 2
     "They really miss DeVier Posey" 3
     "He's a football player" 5
Tressel is mentioned 1
Urban Meyer is mentioned 2
Brady Hoke is mentioned 3
Mike Vrabel:  
     Is on television 1
     Yelling 2
     With a visible dip lip 3
Luke Fickell:  
      Is on television 1
     Actually talking to someone or something 2
Howard Island gets burned 1
Etienne Sabino gets burned 1
John Simon sack 2
Jonathan Hankins sack 2
Boom Herron TD SOCIAL
Braxton Miller TD SOCIAL
Any OSU TE or FB TD SOCIAL
Joe Bauserman:  
     Enters game 1
     Throws a pass 3
     It lands out of bounds Finish drink
Kenny Guiton:  
     Enters game 1
     Throws a pass 1
     Scores a TD SOCIAL
     Throws an INT 3
Ohio State beats Illinois Fire Bollman
Illinois beats Ohio State Fire Bollman

 

Comments

The Six Fingered Buckeye's picture

Holy hell, if BauserBomb enters the game, there are going to be many drinks finished on his first series.

Please, be honest. This is for science.

Maestro's picture

Bob Davie is one of my least favorite people that is associated with college football. He is always Captain Obvious and adds nothing to a telecast or radio interview. Having him do the game increases the percentage of me muting it by 99% +1...you do the math (yes, I am quoting Simon from the Chipmunks so sue me I have kids).

vacuuming sucks

jenks's picture

This may be true, but I think there are so many guys that are so much worse and can't even master the role of captain obvious, that unfortunately he is one of my "favorites."

M Man's picture

You guys are going to be unconscious by the time Guiton enters the game.   I'm calling EMS right now.

This was otherwise very, very nicely constructed.  Kudos, Ramzy.  Blog-master you are.

GoBucks713's picture

Ramzy, we need this in a printable format!

-The Aristocrats!

theDuke's picture

damn it. i was really hoping for a disclaimer free product. that way i could make up an excuse...

theDuke

a9entsmith's picture

Where's the Shugarts false start action? That's definitely a drink finisher.

Scott's picture

Someone will seriously get hurt with that rule in place.

Class of 2008

NoVA Buckeye's picture

+1 but i dont think he had a false start today

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.