TOP TEN REASONS WHY ARKANSAS HIRED BIELEMA

painterlad's picture
December 4, 2012 at 6:36p
15 Comments

TOP TEN REASONS WHY ARKANSAS HIRED BRETT BIELEMA

Sorry. I had to write all of this extra stuff to fit the 200 word count minimum. I'm not sure how much longer I have to write meaningless words. It is December 4, 2012 and Michigan still sucks. Dang, next time I will learn to add extra words to make it to 200 words because more words make it better. That is, in no way, a critique of the Eleven Warriors management or their policies.

10. Bielema has built up a tolerance to cheese but not squirrel.
9. Bret can substitute as their mascot.
8. The university expects half of the SEC to be ineligible next year, so the Razorbacks can make it to the title game.
7. Will do wonders for the state’s all-you-can-eat industry.
6. No known fault lines in Arkansas, so weight not an issue.
5. With rare triple digit IQ, university can claim him as an “SEC Rhodes Scholar.”
4. When told that Wisconsin is very familiar with bowls, the Arkansas AD yelled “who-wee! We done picked us an indoor plumbing coach!”
3. Bielema has a full set of teeth, so that saves on 10 win incentive.
2. Is known to sweat a lot, so southern heat won’t be an issue.
1. Arkansas knows that no woman will ever be able to fit on the back of his motorcycle.

Comments

ODEEZ330's picture

i like 9 lol

O'Deez330
stark county football

BoFuquel's picture

Dont fergit the boyz plumb dumb.GO HORGS!

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

IBLEEDSCARLETANDGRAY's picture

You should send that list to Letterman. Bet he'd use it. No. 1 is priceless

"Sherman ran an option play right through the south" - Greatest Civil War analogy EVER.

Ohio State Ombre's picture

and here i was thinking hoke was getting all the fat jokes...i love #1. 

Buckeyevstheworld's picture

1, 4, 5, and 8 were hilarious.

"YOLO" = I'm about to do something extremely ignorant/stupid & I need an excuse to do it.

jthiel09's picture

#1 was priceless, bravo.

JT

wmbuckeye557's picture

A trike bike maybe a concern, Bert's more of Trans Am type anyway though.  

dumpus's picture

This is a prime example of a blog post gone right.  On target, funny, original, and complete with enough ironic fodder to hit the 200 word mark. 
 10/10

D. Anthony's picture

@Painterlad...do a top 10 on why Bielema left for Arkansas...
- thought they said Buffetteville 
- looks better in the stupid pig/razorback heads than the cheese heads
etc

D. Anthony

BuckeyeMark's picture

winner winner chicken dinner.  absolutely hilarious.
today the IQ of both Wisky and Arky's coaching staff's increased.

old_rasputin's picture

Thanks for making me lol duirng class.  Well done!

"We hate to lose, but when we do, rest assured we'll be back, and someone will pay the price." Coach Hayes

Dougger's picture

#4 + 5 are my favorite

I like football

MediBuck's picture

#1 was the elite. Thanks for saving the best for last.

"There is a force that makes us all brothers, no one goes his way alone." --Woody Hayes

collisionbend's picture

It's Delaney's way of weakening the SEC.

"There's a fine line between perception and reality." -- Luke Fickell