Got an Autograph Yesterday!!!!

One Bad Buckeye's picture
April 24, 2013 at 9:45a

I own a construction company here in Columbus and yesterday I was picking up some things at Lowe's on Silver Drive near Columbus Crew Stadium.  As I was checking out, a man briskly walked by the register and towards the exit with a bag in his hand and was stopped by one of the clerks.  The guy obviously wasn't trying to steal anything but rather had brought some stuff into the store with him to see if what they had in the store fit or worked with what he already I've done a thousand times before.  The man politely obliged when the clerk asked to check the bag before he continued on his way.  

However, I didn't put all of this together until after the fact because I was way too busy trying not to be star struck as the man in question was none other than Ryan Damn Shazier!!!!  When I realized who it was I immediately pushed the paper feed button on the register printer and grabbed the pen from the cashier and slowly approached the poor guy who had just been cleared to leave by the mighty Lowes theft control officer.  

As he turned to leave I was standing there like a total weirdo with a pen and a piece of receipt paper.  He looked perplexed as he glanced at me and then my paper and pen, and said "what?....Oh!" and he chucked as I asked "Can you spare a second for a fan?"  As he was signing his autograph on my crappy receipt paper I turned to the clerks and asked "Do you know who this is?  This is freakin' Ryan Shazier!.....Linebacker for the Buckeyes?"  They all looked at me like a bunch of morons and said in unison "Ooooohhhh."  

Ryan handed me back my receipt paper and kind of smiled about the situation and I thanked him for the autograph and wished him the best of luck for the upcoming season and he went on his way.  Let me tell you, when you shake his hand you definitely get the feeling that this is not a man you want running you down and crushing you.  

It wasn't until after I had finished checking out and loaded up my materials that I realized why he had been stopped and what was going on.  Kind of a funny situation but I was so dead set on getting that autograph because I had recently chickened out on getting Kenny Guiton's autograph in the parking lot of AMC Lennox.  Kenny and his (I assume) girlfriend were recently walking into the theater as I was walking out.  Because it was dark out I didn't recognize him right away, but I was definitely staring at him and he gave me the "What are you looking at" look.  By the time I realized who it was I thought it would be extremely awkward to run up to him in a dark parking lot and ask for his Herbie Hancock.  I could have at least yelled "Go Bucks!" across the parking lot or something goofy like that.  

Any of you guys ever chicken out getting an autograph?

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GABuckeye's picture

When I was 13 or so, I sat a few rows behind Mike Ditka on a plane.  It took me almost the entire flight to work up the courage to ask him for his autograph.  He is by far the most intimidating person I've ever seen up close.  He was chomping on his gum as if he was ripping someone's head off, and he had (I'm assuming) 2 bodyguards at least as big as he is.  I did get him to sign my Pro Football Hall of Fame magazine that I had just got from Canton, though.

KeithMC33's picture

I met Ditka in Florida about 10-12 years ago, and you are 100% correct, he is intense. I definitely would not have been fun being on of his players and pissed him off. I swear his hand was the size of a football and he damn near shattered every bone in my hand when we shook. Super nice guy though, had no problem posing for a picture with the wife and I.

OSUStu's picture

Err...I thought OSU's response to the NCAA Committee on Infractions stated our players wouldn't sign autographs.  Or did that just mean there wouldn't be organized signing sessions or signing of memorabilia? 
Can anyone clarify?

If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.  ~ Bruce Lee

One Bad Buckeye's picture

You forgot your sarcasm font.  

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

BuckeyeChief's picture

The summer before my Senior year in HS, I ran into JJ at the Worthington Summer league while he was getting out of his car with (Treg Lee?). I immediately started talking to him like while were best friends, asking what he thought of the Knicks/ Rockets finals, and he replied he loved Charles Oakley ("Oak is the man!" he said). Everyone I was with stood around slack jawed and mortified;
Anyway, some older guy who apparently knew me from the 'hood told JJ I was his biggest fan and I played 2 guard. JJ turned around from the bench and invited me back the next game to give me his game what an awesome experience, he was a freakin great dude.
On a sad note, the guy who hooked me up, as I found out later, lived up the street from me and was murdered that fall.

"2014 National with it!!!"

AirForceNUT's picture

I got Braxton Miller's autograph a couple months ago.  He was sitting in the cafeteria at Springfield Regional Hospital.

Bolt's picture

I shook Eddie George's hand one day. His hand literally swallowed mine. Largest softest hands I'd ever seen. I could see him being frightening to play against in his hayday. Humongous beast of a man.

scc8t's picture

Was he driving a motor home with Kansas plates?

OSUNuge's picture

Who knows.  I bet Eddie looked damn good in that blue leisure suit, though.

sroetter's picture

I have never seen the fascination with getting someone's signature on a piece of paper.  Maybe I'm missing some big thrill in life, but I've never elevated another human being so far above myself that I've felt a thrill from having them agree to sign a blank piece of paper for me.

fear.the.nut's picture

Agreed.  I wouldn't mind having a jersey, a ball for the respective sport, or something similar that can be displayed somewhere in my house.  I wouldn't like it if people approached me in public for an autograph.  Maybe a simple comment like "good luck this year" or "great game last week" if the opportunity presents itself.

One Bad Buckeye's picture

I'm re-reading my post where I indicated that I've ever elevated anyone above myself.....hmm...can't find it.  
I'm not sure what cave you've been dwelling in but it's not a new concept.....getting autographs.  Perhaps you've never been to an auction where autographs are sold for money.  While I realize a crappy signed piece of paper with no letter of authenticity makes my collectors item virtually worthless, it's merely something to reflect upon later in life or throw in a scrap book.  I wouldn't sell it anyways, I'll keep it right next to my signed Ricky Henderson rooky card, autographed Bob Feller baseball, Muhammad Ali autographed boxing gloves, Jim Tressel autographed OSU flag, Yogi Bera autographed baseball and Ron LeFlore baseball.  It could be a cool story to tell my kids someday, who knows?  
Perhaps you've never been a fan of a team enough to think to get an autograph from a star player.  Perhaps you're just a cold lonely soul who needs to ease your suffering by posting condescending comments on a perfectly harmless post.  
What I do know is, you have 17 16 helmet stickers, you have no favorite teams listed, you post snarky have troll written all over you.  Go to the grocery store and buy yourself some flowers, maybe try and brighten up your day a little, huh?  

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

jeremytwoface's picture

I saw Greg Oden at Kobe Japanese Steakhouse about 2 months ago. He was there eating (of course) and he walked by me when he left.
I didn't really chicken out in asking him for an autograph.. it all happened pretty quickly and by the time he walked by me and I realized who it was, he was already basically out the door of the restaurant. I thought it would be kind of rude to chase him down in the parking lot to beg for an autograph. 
Kind of regret not doing it though lol. From what I've been hearing, he's trying to get back in the league. 

And when we win the game, we'll buy a keg of boooooooooze!! And we'll drink to old Ohio 'till we wobble in our shoes.

AirForceNUT's picture

I saw Greg Oden out at some bars a few months back and was dwarfed by him..  I didn't ask for an autograph but I did get a handshake from him... a very intimidating handshake.

Dougger's picture

Good stuff.. he also was nice enough to take a picture with an old guy I know in a nursing home... the resident has a sticky note on the picture that says "Ryan Shazier OSU Football Player"... I think next time I see him I should take a pen and include a carrot with a "Damn" right between his first and last name.

I like football

IBleedSandG's picture

I saw Anthony Gonzalez at UD Arena back in 2006 before the Buckeyes opening rd game vs Davidson. My friend and I were just chillin in our seats before the game and he walked by with a group of people (guessing other OSU students). I recognized him immediately, but didn't say anything. After he passed by I looked over to my friend and said, "Hey, there goes Gonzo over there." I guess he didn't notice him and said, "What! No shit, where?"


bucknasty13's picture

you definitely get the feeling that this is not a man you want running you down and crushing you.

I generally have this feeling with any man, but it's a good point.

One Bad Buckeye's picture

Haha! I'm with you, but if I had to pick between Anyone Else and Ryan Shazier.....I'd pick anyone else every day of the week and twice on Sunday.  

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

pjtobin's picture

I sat two rows behind hartlines mom. I was in as row 10,isle seat. She came walking up the stairs, wearing a very low cut sleeveless jersey. Showing her baby feeders. Nestled in like a bug in a rug was a set of gold pants. I had never seen any before. Without thinking I blurted out "are those real" asking about the pants. My dad, father in law, and wife, all said my name at the same time. Like I was being scolded. Momma Hartline said ("excuse me!!!) in a not so pleasent tone. I managed to spit out ("the pants, the gold pants! Are those real?). She started laughing then pulled them out for me to get a closer look. Once my family seen them they started laughing also. I was three shades of embarrassed. As was she, I'm sure. Thought that might go well with the star struck theme. I did get all of the bone collector guys, ted nugent, ralph and vickie to sign my Hoyt hat. If you are into hunting, and watch it on tv you know these ppl. Uncle Ted is also a music artist. FYI. And I have sat with, talked to, and gotten tons of autographs from a pitcher named Tim belcher. He lives a few miles from me. So it's nothing big anymore. I think now he is the pitchers coach for the tribe. But not for sure?

Bury me in my away jersey, with my buckeye blanket. A diehard who died young. Rip dad. 

One Bad Buckeye's picture

That's a pretty funny story, I would have fouled up something like that too......"are those real?" LOL!

"I'm One Bad Buckeye, and I approve this message."

popeurban's picture

I always "chicken out".  I have seen many players in C-Bus: Michael Redd (as a Mil Buck), Teddy Ginn, Eddie George, Gregg Oden, Gonzo, Troy Smith, AJ Hawk and Andy Katzenmoyer (in a class after his pro days). 
I always feel like it would be a bother.  Especially when they are out with a date or friends.  I don't know, if I were them, I think it would get old, so I try to respect their privacy, or what they have left of it. 

Doc's picture

I almost missed my only opportunity, so far, to get David Lee Roth's autograph.  Luckily my wife pulled my head out of my ass long enough for me to mutter something to Diamond Dave, get his signature and shake his hand.

CJDPHoS Member

The Official DDS of 11W

Jelligrim's picture

When I was a kid I went to a Cubs game at Wrigly and asked Alan Andersen, then of the Astros, to sign a ticket and he told me "beat it kid!" as I was interfering with him talking to a couple of blondes.  A couple of weeks ago I was out East with a business associate who is a close friend with Alan Andersen, now the play by play man for the Phills, and he said that Alan is the same now as he was over twenty years ago, always going after tail.  After that and a similar experience with Pete Rose and Boomer E. I decided not ever pursue an autograph.  Some a_holes like these guys ruined it for me. 

J.Mo's picture

I've never stopped them before but had a few run ins with Buckeyes
On two different trips to Noodles and Company over by Tuttle, one time ran into Boom Herron and another time Mike Vrabel. Ran into Brandon Saine at the Dick's Sporting Goods on Sawmill. Ran into Jim Cordle at the Giant Eagle on Hayden Run. Sat next to Ryan Pretorius on a flight MDW to CMH.

Knarcisi's picture

R D Shazier ... At Lowe's. I bet he tears down and rebuilds houses just for fun!

Haybucks's picture

I saw Archie heading for an alumni function at the Ohio Union. I was shopping at a store, but bee lined it to stop him from entering the door to tell him how I appreciated all he does to promote our school. I got a great handshake, but I didn't feel it appropriate requesting an autograph knowing I stopped him when he was running late to his engagement. 
I did snag a pic with Chris Spielman at a local fund raiser for cancer.  He was so cool to meet and greet. Mostly Lions fans were there, but Chris gave me ample time for some small talk before his keynote.  He really gave that team up north a thrashing, stopping just short of calling them Ohio State North. Too bad Archie wasn't there to photobomb, or it might have looked like this!

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. -  Mark Twain


Knarcisi's picture

RD Shazier > Chuck Norris 

Buckeye Stuck In Illini Country's picture

I recently got Eddie George's, Coach Tressel's, and Archie's autographs. My grandfather was at a fundraiser and was seated at their lunch table. He asked them each for a picture and an autograph for his grandson and they were happy to oblige. As much as I would have liked to have been there myself I know I would have been way too shy to talk to them. I did work up enough nerve to talk to Gale Sayers when I was a kid, got his autograph, too. 

I may live among a bunch of Illini, but I'll be a Buckeye until the day that I die.

HighBallAce's picture

A guy my mom works with at the post office here in Marion bought Jim Tressel's car! It's a gray Grand Am looking thing? Not sure if that's what it is but that's what it looks like. He said that Tressel bought it for games because his good car would get egged or vandalized. 

Brutus Forever's picture

ran into Vrabel at city bbq in powell and when i walked outside marotti was walking into the graeter's next door

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer