Got an Autograph Yesterday!!!!

One Bad Buckeye's picture
April 24, 2013 at 9:45a

I own a construction company here in Columbus and yesterday I was picking up some things at Lowe's on Silver Drive near Columbus Crew Stadium.  As I was checking out, a man briskly walked by the register and towards the exit with a bag in his hand and was stopped by one of the clerks.  The guy obviously wasn't trying to steal anything but rather had brought some stuff into the store with him to see if what they had in the store fit or worked with what he already I've done a thousand times before.  The man politely obliged when the clerk asked to check the bag before he continued on his way.  

However, I didn't put all of this together until after the fact because I was way too busy trying not to be star struck as the man in question was none other than Ryan Damn Shazier!!!!  When I realized who it was I immediately pushed the paper feed button on the register printer and grabbed the pen from the cashier and slowly approached the poor guy who had just been cleared to leave by the mighty Lowes theft control officer.  

As he turned to leave I was standing there like a total weirdo with a pen and a piece of receipt paper.  He looked perplexed as he glanced at me and then my paper and pen, and said "what?....Oh!" and he chucked as I asked "Can you spare a second for a fan?"  As he was signing his autograph on my crappy receipt paper I turned to the clerks and asked "Do you know who this is?  This is freakin' Ryan Shazier!.....Linebacker for the Buckeyes?"  They all looked at me like a bunch of morons and said in unison "Ooooohhhh."  

Ryan handed me back my receipt paper and kind of smiled about the situation and I thanked him for the autograph and wished him the best of luck for the upcoming season and he went on his way.  Let me tell you, when you shake his hand you definitely get the feeling that this is not a man you want running you down and crushing you.  

It wasn't until after I had finished checking out and loaded up my materials that I realized why he had been stopped and what was going on.  Kind of a funny situation but I was so dead set on getting that autograph because I had recently chickened out on getting Kenny Guiton's autograph in the parking lot of AMC Lennox.  Kenny and his (I assume) girlfriend were recently walking into the theater as I was walking out.  Because it was dark out I didn't recognize him right away, but I was definitely staring at him and he gave me the "What are you looking at" look.  By the time I realized who it was I thought it would be extremely awkward to run up to him in a dark parking lot and ask for his Herbie Hancock.  I could have at least yelled "Go Bucks!" across the parking lot or something goofy like that.  

Any of you guys ever chicken out getting an autograph?

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