5 Questions For Urban Meyer

One Bad Buckeye's picture
February 15, 2013 at 12:36p

Many moons ago, I feel like I botched the chance of a lifetime and ever since then I have this strange lingering feeling of regret that I just can't shake.  I don't dwell on it too often, but once in a while I reflect and wish I could go back in time and kick myself.  

A brief history of my fandom.  I was born in M*chigan, raised in M*chigan, my entire extended family went/goes to M*chigan, my dad played golf for M*ichigan, I grew up rooting for M*chigan, I had planned on attending M*chigan my entire life....just like dad.  That is until my family relocated to Cleveland, Ohio halfway through my junior year of high school.  Although I was hell bent on graduating from a big ten school, out of state tuition was just not feasible, so I decided to play JuCo Baseball for a couple years while I sorted things out, eventually it became overwhelmingly clear that I had to go to The Ohio State University.  I made my mind up without even visiting once.  Obviously the rest is history, I was born a scUM fan and by the grace of God.....I will die a Buckeye.  

My first quarter at Ohio State was winter quarter 2001 as I had played JuCo baseball prior to transferring to Ohio State.  Although I was considered an upper classmen I was content living in the dorms because I really didn't want to miss out on that experience.  When filling out my paperwork I specifically requested to live in Morrill Tower because I had read somewhere that that's where most of the athletes live.  Much to my surprise, I was assigned to a suite on the 15th floor of Morrill Tower.  Upon my arrival I introduced myself to my suite mates and as it turns out the two GIGANTIC quiet freshmen in the first suite were Ohio State football players Ryan Hamby and Reggie Arden.  At the time I remember thinking "that's pretty cool" but wasn't too impressed cause I hadn't heard of them as I had only been a Buckeye fan for like 15 minutes.  

As time went on I became friends with everyone and I got to meet a lot of cool people as Ryan Hamby turned out to be quite the social bug.  Marcus Green, Lydell Ross, Brandon Fushcheatham, Matt Sylvester and many more were constantly in and out of our suite hanging out and playing Play Station....Hamby used to get so upset with me because I was THE MAN at 007: Agent Under Fire and would constantly take him to school.  

One day after class, I believe in late March leading up to the spring game, after coming back from a four day weekend (everyone went home) Hamby came out of his suite and said it's probably best not to bother Reggie for a while.  When I asked what was up he told me Reggie had gotten a second DUI while hanging out with friends at home.  I felt really bad for the guy because Ryan had just been talking about how they moved Reggie to linebacker and how awesome he was doing and how mean he looked.  Needless to say I took Ryan's advice.  Not more than an hour later, I had forgotten about what Ryan had said, I heard a knock on the door of the suite.  I got up and checked the peephole and there where two massive black guys and a smaller older white guy standing outside the door.  I opened the door and who do you know is standing in front of me? JIM FREAKING TRESSEL!!!!! With blah-blah-blah and blah-blah-blah.  

I wish I was more familiar with the coaching staff at the time because I don't know who the two accompanying assistants were.  Now I can only assume they were position coaches.  I was so stupefied I didn't even know what to say, I remember thinking "Nobody is going to believe this happened!" Part of me wanted to shake his hand/give him a hug, or jump up and down like an idiot, but I just stared at him like a moron.  After a brief silence I uttered in a surprised voice "Coach Tressel? What can I do for you sir?" To which he replied "Is my guy Reggie around?" Pretending like I hadn't hear what happened over the weekend I said "Yeah, I'll show you to his door." (Like it was so hard to find).  I was quiet as a funeral home while he knocked on Reggie's door.  When Reggie opened the door Coach Tressel gave me a look that said "You can go about your business now." Which my business became to quietly knock on my other suitemates door to let me in so we could try and eavesdrop.  Let me tell you, putting a solo cup to the wall and pressing your ear to the solo cup DOESN'T WORK!!!! Solo cups suck for eavesdropping.  Expecting to hear a bunch of screaming and ass chewing, all we got was some very long winded soft spoken mumbling which was replied to with deep mumbling.  

After their 20 minute or so meeting, Coach Tressel reemerged and came to my door.  He made some small talk with me and asked that we keep his boys out of trouble.  For that 20 minutes or so I was thinking to myself, what should I ask him?  What should I say to him?  And all I did before he left was ask him to sign my Ohio State Flag that was hanging on my wall to which he obliged.  I felt pretty stupid for how I handled myself, I never considered myself to be the type to get star struck.  Obviously those weren't the best circumstances to make small talk with the coach of your favorite football team, but ever since then I'll look back from time to time and wonder what I would ask him if I were better prepared.  

Now it's time to play "What-If?".  

Let's say you're sitting at a bar on Urban's side of town (Muirfield) watching an irrelevant basketball game.  It's just you and the bartender and low and behold, my man Urban Meyer walks in and sits one bar stool away from you.  Now, if you're like me you're quietly freaking out inside like a giddy school girl at a Justin Bieber concert but I'm older now and I have more composure.  If this happens to you what five questions would you ask UFM?  Obviously the gentlemen's agreement would be that his answers are off the record, so you can literally ask him anything you want and expect an honest answer that reflects what he really thinks rather than the contrived responses you have to give in press conferences.....although I do believe Urban is genuine in his pressers.  

Now before I list my questions, I want to prequalify that I'm not confident my questions are the coolest, most unique or best questions one can come up with....I've probably had too much time to think about this.  Obviously these questions would come after a brief introduction and friendly handshake.  Also, an autograph before he leaves is a given so that can't be a question.  

1) Come on man, you mean to tell me you weren’t concerned AT ALL when Teddy Ginn ran that kick return back in the NCG?
2) Just between us guys, do you and the staff have any good nicknames for any of the coaches around the B1G?
3) I’m an out of state must-get blue chip quarterback and we’re in my living room with my parents….sell me Ohio State!  You have 3 minutes…..GO!
4) At this point in their careers, who would take who to school, Braxton or Tim? If you recruited both as freshmen, who do you think would win the starting job?
5) Apart from National Championships, what are your top three victories over another coaches in terms of, “Man, I really wanted to shut that guy up!”……Kiffin?

How do you think Urban would answer?  What questions would you guys ask him given the chance to hang with the coach for a couple drinks?  

*Another qualifier, if you're question is cooler or more interesting than mine and I run into the Coach sometime....I'm probably stealing your question.  Haha!


BucksfanXC's picture

Worthy blog post. Good job. Love the story.
To #3, there is no way he can not close the deal. He'll look at me, stare me up and down, nod his head and say, "Seriously, come on, it's Ohio State." = done deal. I'm sold. He's got one of those looks and personality that you just don't want to let the man down. You'd do anything to make him proud and you don't know why you suddenly seek the approval of a complete stranger you've just met, but dammit you do.

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

Buckeye Beast's picture

That's a really cool story. I may be the only one, but if I were sitting in a bar all by myself watching basketball, I would wonder why Urban Meyer walked into an empty bar just to sit down. Under these circumstances, we would have to assume he's drinking & he doesn't seem like a drinker. I would probably try to see if he's doing alright, but hey, I'm just weird like that. Coaching can be stressful. I'd ask who wins in a fight between Tim Tebow & Brady Hoke with a taser.

Even Squirrels hate Michigan

buckeyedude's picture

You're over thinking it, Beast.
But I'll entertain the thought: All Tebow would have to do is offer Brady a barbequed pork rib, and Brady drops the tazer. Game over.



Poison nuts's picture

Yeah - but all Brady would have to do is...Nevermind - that would take a brain. Tebow wins.

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

AirForceNUT's picture

Excellent write up. Thanks for sharing the story.  I really enjoyed reading that!

ih8rolltyde's picture

You can tell a lot about a person by what they order at a bar.

****igan smells like old water that hot dogs were boiled in.  FACT

BuckNKY's picture

My question to UFM - On that certain day in January, 2007, that may or may not have happened, did you in any way feel that you had a chance to be head coach of The Ohio State University football team before the end of your career?
Great story.  Mine isn't even close - but I will share anyway.  I once shared a Morrill Tower elevator with Orlando Pace (there wasn't a whole lot of free space in that elevator!).  Also Stan Jackson was in line behind me in the food court of the Ohio Union the first day of classes after the 1997 Rose Bowl game.  Needless to say that I didn't talk to either of them in the situations - Orlando because he was an incredibly intimidating figure inside of an elevator!  Stan because he was more interested in the group of girls that approached him after he got in line.

JTownBuckeye's picture

My story isn't close either, but I will share: Thanks to my son, who was a top 10 seller of Scout popcorn a couple years ago, we got to have dinner with Eddie George at Eddie George's restaurant. My 8 year old son asked Eddie what schools gave him trouble when he was at OSU and he of course immediately mentioned UM and was trying to think of any others. My son, who I had educated extensively about Eddie before the dinner, says to Eddie "my dad says Illinois gave you trouble in your first year, but that you paid them back in the end." To which Eddie smiled at my son and said "yeah, I paid them back". 

ArizonaBuckeye's picture

1.) Do you have any room on your coaching staff? I'll live in the film room if you'd like and I'll completely surrender my social life. //  Haha Just kidding Coach (not really)
2.) If there aren't any openings on your staff; do you need a personal bodyguard? I'm not overly big, 5'10" 225lbs, but I can get shit done when needed. // Haha Just kidding Coach (not really)
3.) Why is the Spread Option so much better than the Power? (Who wouldn't want to hear his expertise on that?)
4.) Who's going to be our next Teddy Ginn Jr? Sorry Coach, I'm tired of the Percy Harvin comparisons.
5.) Do you have any room on your coaching staff? Wait, did I already ask you that? Hahaha my bad Coach......but seriously, is there?

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." -Woody Hayes-

Knarcisi's picture

5.  Getting the 1st one against scUM was big. However, MSU was huge. You could tell by the emotion that he felt his team had arrived. That was a huge win for him. 

Knarcisi's picture

3. You want to compete for national championships?  You want to become a better player and a better man?  You want a great education?  You want to be part of something special?  Then Ohio State is the place for you. 

DefendYoungstown's picture

Will you take us back to Pasadena? I think the real question is should my family plan to be here the 1st or the 6th?

What we can't do in the air we'll do on the ground.

Jelligrim's picture

Great story.  Last weekend I was sitting watching my daughter's gymnastics practice and I hear a voice with a slight southern draw sitting next to me.  I look over and see John Cooper.  This is the closest I have been to the coach since helping hoist him in the air since The Game in 98'.  I said nothing but sat there thinking of all of the Great accomplishments he made during his tenure (despite his record in the Game).  I credit his coaching style for bringing so much excitement to our football program.  Coach Coop was responsible for my transformation from an ND fan to an OSU fan at a young age and ultimately one of the reasons I went on to get my degree from OSU. In hindsight I should have thanked him and shook his hand.

buckeyedude's picture

A friend of mine met John Cooper and said he was very cordial and signed an autograph. I think Coop takes a lot of heat for The Game, but I do believe the man loves the Buckeyes and he was OSU coach.
I would like to see him on the selection committee for the 4-team playoff in 2014. He is a great evaluator of talent.



puff daddy's picture

1.do you like scarlet and grey eggs and ham?
2.do you have any NCG pre-game traditions?
3.on a traditional1-10 scale how good is chris spielman in the booth?
4.if you could choose your game day anouncers,who would you pick?
5.if you had to race in a potato sack race,wiith winner to get watson,who would your partner be?


Poison nuts's picture

1. No
2. Yes
3. 7
4. Madden
5. Vrabel

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

puff daddy's picture

so poison IS urban meyer.   How's it going mr.urbs?what's garrett and barrett doin. hey,i rymed.


Poison nuts's picture

Haha - Everything's fine. Can't comment on a recruits visit - Hey, some of the guys were asking, what was Biggy really like anyways?    ;)

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

puff daddy's picture

come on urban,i'm your wife...don'ttreat me like sue paterno,we need to be more transperent
biggy was rather small


Phillips.449's picture

I was also a 15th floor Morril Tower dude!  Nice write up!

WolverineKiller's picture

Great write up!  I hope you get to meet Urban someday.  I bet he'll sign your flag too (after you become his bff) :-)

Just Win.

Bucksfan's picture

Best blog post I've read in a while.  Hilarious.  Love question #1.

buckfan38's picture

That story is pretty dang cool. Not just the Tress part but all of it. I also met Tress, but in a much lousier fashion and after he resinged. I was on a college visit at UA and he was there to give a speech. So before the speech I saw him in hallway, I wasnt going to say anything but he was there as a publicity thing so I guess he was just going around shaking peoples hands. When he shook mine I just asked him one question and I said "Who was your favorite player at tOSU?" He didnt really answer it he just chuckled and said good luck. But I thought it was still kinda cool.