Eleven Warriors

                                                                                                             Central Florida

56 – 10.  OK, let the complaining begin.  Really?  Hey, that was a pretty nice debut.  Give us one quarter to figure out what was going on and then we go hang half a hundred on a team with an NFL QB.  I’ll take that.  Are there some things to work on?  You bet there are.  Most concerning was the secondary with what seemed like multiple blown coverages.  I trust that improved communication and some great coaching will remedy that one.  Lack of pass rush? It did not appear that we were, scheme-wise, trying real hard to rush the passer.  Mostly 3 man, sometime 4 man rush with very little in the way of blitzing.  It is also possible that Dysert might be the best QB we face this year and he did a great job of getting rid of the ball.  His supporting cast was, well, not very supporting.  The Miami receivers introduced the term “catch and release” to football.

The rest of the Big Ten did not fare so well.  Penn State bid an early adieu to big time football by losing at home to Ohio.  I think the Bobcats are pretty good, but the Nits might be the Nots sooner than we expected.

The Weasels were Weasels in all their inglorious fashion.  Pun intended.  They looked hideous in their new uni’s and played the way they looked.  I think the Brady Hoax miracle may be over.  Oh well it was destined to end on November 24 regardless. The Big Blue brain trust somehow conjured up the idea of making Denurd a drop back passer.  He had the drop back part down, but the passer aspect of the equation was a bit more of a problem. The Weasel defenders were like Prince Harry’s pants….lost.  It looked like a vintage Rich Rod defense. Have I mentioned how much I miss that guy?

I watched Auburn and Clemson and think both of those teams are going to win quite a few games, though sadly for Auburn, one of them will not be against Alabama.  Another negative aspect of the Terrelle Pryor experience is that his presence on the Buckeye roster is likely what kept Clemson QB Taj Boyd from becoming a Buckeye. The Crimson Tide, despite their opponent, showed themselves to be a seriously good football team. 

Notre Dame sunk Navy in a game no one saw, except the 30,000 Irish fans who crossed the pond to attend. 

What to expect from Central Florida?  They are coached by George O’Leary.  You remember him don’t you?  O’Leary is the guy who parlayed a successful stint as Georgia Tech’s head coach and bogus resume into the Notre Dame job back in 2001.  His stint at ND lasted only as long as it took the Irish officials to check out his resume and conclude that he was a liar. Five days to be factually correct, not that George ever was.  He actually coached zero games, though his updated bio now states that he led the Irish to a 12-0 record with a victory in the Cuban Missile Crisis.  I think he may have been done in by the claim that he was the first man to walk on the moon after a long career as a nun.  Despite his proclivity for fiction he must be a pretty good football coach.  Winning at Georgia Tech is not easy and he has UCF moving in the right direction.  Urban thinks UCF will bring one of the top 5 defensive lines we will face in 2012.  Their top RB is out with an injury and this is only the 2nd start for their QB. I see this as a pretty entertaining game with the home boys coming out won top by a 35-17 score.

We have our first of what we hope will be many contributions from our esteemed colleague from the South, the Cajun Correspondent:
Conference Bubba is all atwitter over the newest ranking in both collegiate polls this week. It seems, according to the national media pundits and the ever-present Bama blowhards, that the world as we know it is now in its proper order now that Alabama is the consensus # 1 in the land. Oh the glory of it all ... Oh the splendor of it all ... Wait. POO-Yie !!! What is that powerful stench from the east? Why it's that all-too-familiar stench of the Tuscaloosers once again proclaiming that they can walk on water and chew bubble gum at the same time .... AGAIN. Your Cajun Correspondent is guessing that they gotta have something to do to entertain themselves besides tea-bagging the opposing team’s fans and killing their opponent’s trees. Let 'em bray at the top of their lungs. The night of November 3rd should cool their jets. I'll tune the rest of that white (and red) noise out. 'Nuff said.
Our Bayou Bengals did a workman like number on the North Texas Mean Green. QB play was just fine for a junior having his first start. He's already looks better than our last 3 QB's just standing around on the sideline. 500 yards of offense makes me smile.
Next up is the Washington Huskies. Their passing attack should be a sterner test for our young secondary. Our lovely humidity should make for a sterner test of their ability to drink their air instead of breathe it. Look for a lot of Huskies with their heads down and hands on their hips between plays as the thought keeps crossing their minds that they just might die on national TV in Louisiana. Nothing like a Baton Rouge home field advantage during the late summer. We don't call it Death Valley for nothing.
Our newest sacrificial lambs, I mean members, to Conference Bubba are both hosting this weekend. The Aggies are entertaining Florida, and giving them 2 points to boot. Mizzu is graciously allowing them Alpo-eating Georgia Bulldogs to desecrate Columbia's fire hydrants this weekend. CC smells an upset on this one. The Kibbles-n-Bits crowd are notoriously slow starters and poor travelers. Mizzu should be sky high for this one. Unfortunately, both schools have been talking trash all week about the SEC. Mizzu chatter is slightly understandable. But, the Aggies !!??!! .... The last time they did anything world beating was .... NEVER. Hell, their cheerleaders are the ugliest in the NCAA (all men), AND their band has no clue how to get off the field after halftime. And they never shut up about how great they're gonna be. Despite all that, they are slightly entertaining for right at 3 hours once a year.
Y'all are so nice to be serving up a little soiree'' for the University of Central Florida Knights. The Knights are wearing out horses heading toward the Shoe for the very first time. Last time George O'Leary and Urban "I'm a Buckeye Now" Meyer squared off was in 2006, when Urbie Baby was at "The-Place-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named". UCF lost 42 - 0. Since 2002, the Knights are 3 - 17 in non-conference away games. Sure looks to me like they'll limp back home to Orlando 3 - 18. But, be careful my Buckeye friends. These tin men have teeth. And human bites are definitely the worst kind. Bring your "A" game and y'all gonna be just fine. Enjoy the Bar-B-que, on and off the field.
I checked the scheduling and unfortunately the Fighting Fatwahs of Taliban State have an open date this weekend. That may not be the best of news. We all know what happens when you give these college boys some idle time during the season. So let's stay our toes y'all and lock up your goats. It's a long season, praise be unto Our Head Coach's name.

Not much to choose from with regard to other games this week.  Vanderbilt goes to Northwestern in some kind of Brainiac Bowl.  Vanderbilt calls itself the Harvard of the South, which is kind of like being the Champagne of instant pudding.  Northwestern stumbled into the Big Ten at the conference’s inception and just won’t leave.  Actually, it might be a pretty good game.  Vandy gave South Carolina a struggle last week and the Wildcats are fresh off a win over Syracuse.  Syracuse considers itself the Boise State of the East. Florida visits Texas A&M and Missouri host Georgia in the SEC Initiation weekend.

                                
In the words of a particularly inane Bud Light commercial, “HERE WEGO”.    Are we ready for the 2012 college football season?  Has our world completely come unglued?  Think about what we have seen in the last year or so.  Penn State has completely and deservedly imploded.  The Paterno statue is gone, Jerry Sandusky is in jail and the Nits will be on a farewell tour this season then fade from relevance for the next decade.   West Virginia, somehow, has joined the Big 12 conference.  Colorado and Utah joined the PAC 8, 10, 12.  Missouri left the Big 12 to join the SEC.  That ranked as the dumbest thing in the history of Missouri statehood until senatorial candidate Aiken started giving biology lessons.  He will only loose an election.  Mizzu is going to lose forever.  Texas A&M got their shorts in a bunch over the Longhorn Network and seceded from the Big 12 to join the SEC.  For their reward the Aggies get to play Alabama, Auburn, Arkansas and LSU every year and get to choose from Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina for their crossover games.  Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the boiling inferno of hell.  Wow!  BYU joined Army, Navy and Notre Dame as independents.  The most obvious connection between war and religion since the crusades.  The BCS has agreed to a 4 team playoff at some point in the future as long as 2 of the teams are from the SEC.  Bobby Petrino, after leading Arkansas to heights not seen since the days of Frank Broyles, went for just one too many motorcycle rides with his mistress.  To be fair, maybe having her on payroll was stepping just a bit over the line even for Conference Bubba standards.  If all that was not hilarious enough, to take his place the leadership at Arkansas chose John L. Smith.  Yes, the guy, who when coaching Michigan State, once punched himself in the face during a press conference.  John L.  is as sane as Rosie O’Donnell is cute.    John L. is to rational thought as Twinkies are to health food.  This should be sooo much fun.  I only hope we can somehow get the Arkansas press conferences on TV here in Buckeyeland.  The really odd thing is that the Razorbacks are loaded and if coached by a remotely functional human being might be able to hang with LSU and Bama for the SEC West.

OK, I know I am avoiding the obvious.  The REALLY BIG Change or at least the one we care about the most is the onset of the Urban Meyer revolution in Columbus. It hardly seems fair that Ohio State with all their built in advantages could grab the best coach this side of Nick Saban.  I know they are not rational enough to grasp this yet, but pity (not really) the poor Weasels.  They finally jettisoned RichRod and obtained the services of a reasonably competent coach in Brady Hoke.  They even lucked into a good year in 2011 with an 11-2 record.  But it is over.  The End.  Final. Terminated.  They don’t realize it in Ann Arbor yet, but 2011 was the high water mark.  Urban Meyer is going to own the Weasels every bit as much as Tressel did.  I am getting a bit ahead of myself, but do circle the date of November 24 (like you had not already done that) because that game should be more fun than a Slip N’ Slide with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

Seriously, but wait.  You do realize that this whole year is sort of a mulligan for 2013, right?  I mean aside from 11/24 nothing really counts.  This year is all about impressing recruits, scaring opponents and securing a good position in the 2013 pre- season polls.  OK, back to seriously.  What can we expect from the 2012 Buckeyes?  Defense…….expect excellence, and look for it up front. The defensive line might be the best in the nation.  Before I go any further I do want to recognize the job Jim Heacock did with the Silver Bullets.  He was a great, and I do mean great, coordinator and he will be missed.  Fortunately his prize pupil, Luke Fickell, is more than ready to step in.   The secondary will be the best in the Big Ten.  The linebackers concern me a bit, but they should benefit from the studs up front.  Overall, I’m not sure they will be scored on this year.  Maybe in the bowl game.  Wait, we aren’t going to a bowl, so never mind. 

On offense, I am not so confident.  I think Braxton Miller will be outstanding and set up his 2013 Heisman run.  Carlos Hyde, I think will shine, as will, once he returns, Jordan Hall.  The receivers, I sense, will be a bit better than advertised. I am a bit worried about the spread offense.  Urban says he wants to play power football from the spread.  I am not sure how exactly one does that, but he is getting several million more in compensation than me to figure that out.  I am excited, but nervous.  We are all waiting to see if the Jim Bollman/Jim Tressel tandem was as bad as we think.  Everybody in Columbus hated that combo, but they won an awful lot of games and rarely lost to inferior opponents.  The spread as we see it across the college football world is not a new thing and defenses have been catching up to it.  I worry about the spread in the red zone.  What if Braxton goes down?  All these worries, but I have faith in Urban’s ability to stay ahead of the curve.  Even though the punt may no longer be the most important play, we do have both our kickers back in Ben Buchanon and Drew Basil and that will come in handy somewhere along the road. Our season boils down to a trip to East Lansing and Madison as well as 11/24.  You have that date circled, right?  If we lose to anyone other than those three it will be disappointing to say the least.  And, mark it down; we are not losing on 11/24.

What about Miami you say?  Urban says he wants an angry Buckeye football team.  The Redhawks have two choices…show up or don’t show up.  Either way the go home with their paycheck and an 0-1 record.  My only concern is that our team might be a bit too jacked for this game and mistakes could result in some good things for the Miami bunch.  Does anyone really think John Simon is going to let Miami ruin the start of his senior season and of the Urban dynasty?  Miami brings a pretty good QB in Zac Dysert and receiver in Nick Howard.  That duo racked up over 3500 yards last year.  They also gave up 46 sacks while losing 8 games in 2011.  They are in wrong place at the wrong time.

Elsewhere around the pigskin world.

Alabama vs. Michigan @ Dallas.  Don’t both of these schools have good size stadiums, so why Dallas?  I’m sure Jerry Jones money-whipped somebody, but I prefer to think that the good folks in Tuscaloosa did not want their fair city invaded by the weasel hordes and opted for a neutral venue.  Sorry Big Ten loyalists but I gotta pull for the Tide.   Unless the Taliban has a football team I will pull for anyone playing the Weasels.

Notre Dame vs. Navy in Dublin, Ireland.  I think this neutral site thing just might be getting out of hand.  The Navy fleet and Irish pubs?  Not a good combo for the Midshipman.

Boise State at Michigan State.  Do the Broncos have life beyond the winningest QB in college history, Kellen Moore?  MSU’s loss of Kirk Cousins may actually be more of an issue.  Since the Buckeyes open the Big Ten season in East Lansing this one should merit watching.

Clemson vs. Auburn:  Can the Dabo Swinney miracle continue?  As long as Tajh Boyd is taking snaps it sure can.

It should be a fun season.  You can start scouting possible opponents for the Buckeyes  in the national championship game following the 2013 season.

Purdue

There we stood on the precipice, looking into the abyss and we could clearly see Darkest Day III.  Thankfully, Travis Howard stepped front of an Indiana pass and rescued us from the nightmare which could have ended the 2011 season and doomed Luke Fickell’s tenure as OSU head coach.  Braxton Miller showed speed and elusiveness all afternoon in rushing for over 100 yards.  Boom and Carlos Hyde, remember him, also both racked up over 100 yards rushing.  The passing attack….well never mind.  You remember what Woody used to say about the  three things that could happen when you threw the ball and most of them were bad.  The defense looked about as bad as I can remember an OSU defense looking since Tim Biamawhatshisname made us cancel Christmas back in the 1990’s. Finally we inserted Ryan Shazier as a spy and slowed down the vaunted IU attack.  I still think our defensive backs drop into their zones and watch…instead of attack the ball and/or  receiver.  If you watched the LSU-Bama game later that night you saw a marked contrast.  Maybe it is youth, maybe it is my vision, maybe it is the Bushmills, but I am not used to watching the Silver Bullets get pushed around; certainly not by players wearing Indiana uniforms.   I guess a win is a win.  We still more or less control our own Big Ten destiny, but this struggle has undermined my swagger.  Our Buckeyes really need to improve this week and run downhill at our last two opponents.

This week we continue our tour of Indiana by visiting the Purdue Boilermakers in West Lafayette.  The last time our Buckeyes stopped by Ross Aide stadium I happened to be in Vegas.  There I endured the wrath of the local gamblers who, with the Buckeye loss, had just watched their parlays get blown up at 9:00 AM local time.  They were not a happy group.  The OSU offense had more turnovers than a French bakery.  Terrelle Pryor went into panic mode and played his worst game as a Buckeye.  A bad day all the way around.  It helped the Boiler cause that they had a defensive lineman, Ryan Kerrigan , now in the NFL, who we simply could not block.  Purdue coach Danny Hope had some choice words for Buckeye fans after his big win over the Bucks as to how we should “get used to it”.  Hmmm…Really,  Danny???  We are not even going to get used to your stupid mustache before you become the next coach at Wabash College.  Still we can look forward to the trip to West Lafayette to see the little train thing, the world’s 2nd largest drum and, if she makes bail, the Purdue Golden Girl.  That and a 24-13 victory makes for a fun weekend.

Last week Oklahoma escaped, barely an upset-minded Kansas State team, Nebraska gagged away the Limp Division lead by handing one to Northwestern. Iowa beat the visiting Weasels when Denurd had some trouble in the red zone.  Why is it whenever Denurd struggles, I just giggle uncontrollably?

Of course most eyes were focused on the battle in Tuscaloosa between top ranked LSU and #2 Alabama.  It was a classic battle of stone-age, or depending upon your opinion, great defensive football. The Tigers won in OT mostly because they had a decent kicker and Bama did not.  In a game with world class athletes and NFL talent strewn all over the field, this month’s Game of the Century, was decided by kickers.  That is like having a MMA bout won by Richard Simmons.

We are fortunate to have a report from our Conference Bubba Correspndant:

Howdy Friend of Brutus,

 Let me start by saying that it was quite easy to slip out of Tuscaloosa early this past Sunday morning. Apparently, "shock and awe" leaves quite the permanent mark on their impressionable emotional states. By the time Dumbo and the boys had dried their eyes and stopped tearing their hair out, we Coonasses were long gone. Actually, they're STILL whining. Not all of them, though. Some of them are extremely, shall we say, "upset". Others have still not spoken as of today. Dis Ole Cajun thinks that they talked so much crap for 2 solid weeks, they can't swallow it fast enough to keep from drowning in their own "juices". I gotta admit, it's kinda nice to hear the silence for a change. It's deafening, but I think I can acclimate to that.
  Whatta a football game!!! The "Best Coach in the Country" got out coached by our "Dumb-Ass MF who can't read a clock" (Dumbo words of wisdom). Not by much, but Bama stumbled, and that was the difference. Missed 2 FG's? Couldn't get any closer, could ya? Blocked another FG, didn't we? Intercepted your passes? The last one could have been called a completion and it wouldn't have been reversed on a review. One question, Dumbo ... What in the hell were y'all thinking during the OT? Honestly, Cuz, my Bayou Bengals were on your 2 yard line and driving when we ran out of clock at halftime. Our 2nd string QB throws that pass better, it's 7 - 3, not 3 - 3 at the half. The closest y'all got all night was our 17 yard line. Trent is one hellava RB. However, he had 169 of your 295 yards. And his last 2 runs lost 10 yards AND he was solo tackled on both. 23 rushes for 89 yards. 3 rushes accounted for 61 of those, and 15 of the remaining 20 rushes were negative yards. 80 yards on 5 receptions. 2 of 'em covered 60 yards. Ain't that "Best Coach in the Country" playing anybody else in a game?
  Your Defense is great, but you allowed 3.6 yards per carry, which is just a tad above your season average of 1.7 yards a pop. Y'all know EXACTLY why this Correspondent is telling y'all all this. Y'all spent a lot of time telling anyone who couldn't help but hear y'all crowing about how bad y'all were gonna beat our "asses". Well, our "Impossible to win a National Championship" 2 QB system outscored your "Impossible to beat us at home" team. Trent Richardson was very effective, but he ended up being all you had. So, he didn't run all over us for 200 yards and 5 TD's like y'all loudly predicted.
  The great thing about this one was that the Defenses were so good, they forced the Offenses to make mistakes. The Offenses were scouted so well that the plays they were used to practicing and running all season long just didn't work against these Defenses. So, in order to move the ball, both Offenses had to run plays they rarely practiced or used in games. That caused them to make mistakes. Bama stumbled ... end of story.
  So, cheer up, Dumbo. Y'all can limp on over to Starkville and "whip up" on them Mississippi State Bulldogs. But be careful. They ain't listening to big talk either these days. You'll have a hard time convincing the Dawgs that the "the best team didn't win" last weekend, as y'all have stated all this week. I guess you'll have to "bring it" one more time, cuz you sure ain't gonna talk them into surrendering either. And I guarantee y'all that Tennessee-Martin didn't make them Dawgs nearly as sore as y'all feel this week.
This team has something special going on right now. It's just a marvel to watch. We haven't been 9 - 0 since 1973. We haven't been 10 - 0 since 1958, when we won the National Championship and went 11 - 0 with Billy Cannon as a junior. We've never been 12 - 0.
  God, ... it's just great to be a Tiger!!!

  Go Bucks!!! Hope y'all make Purdue purr-don't.

  Geaux Tigers!!

Sadly, I am old enough to remember Billy Cannon, when the Tigers were coached by Paul Dietzel and gave us the politically incorrect, Chinese Bandit defense.  Supposedly, when Cannon returned a punt for a TD against (I think Ole Miss) the noise out of Tiger Stadium registered on some local Richter scales. 

This week:
Oregon at Stanford:  Luck vs the Ducks.  I think the Ducks have too much speed and Stanford runs out of Luck.  Sorry, that was just too easy.

Nebraska at Penn State:  No comment, even a wiseass like me knows when step away.

Oklahoma State at Texas Tech – Remember friends, this is the Tech team which went into Norman and whipped the Sooners a few weeks ago.  I think the Pokes will be ready and get out of Lubbock with their title dreams intact.

Weasel at Illinois:  Is Ron Zook ready to contribute to Western Civilization by beating the Weasels?  Though this is sort of like betting on the French army I think the Zookers get it done.

Michigan State after having the green stuff scared out of them by Minnesota last week, travels to Iowa.  I think the Spartans prevail, but we must issue the Hawks a word of thanks for the Weasel whipping they performed last week.

Bama visits Mississippi State:  If Dan Mullin can pull off this upset he gets an interview for the OSU job, should it become open and if Urban turns us down.

LSU plays a women’s rugby team.

                                                                                                                      Indiana Week

To steal a line from the Four Seasons…”Oh what a night”! Wow! From the moment our scoreboard welcomed Bucky Badger to the “Shoe at Night” and declared “Its on” you could tell it was going to be a special night.  Who knows how this season, the NCAA sanctions, Luke Fickell’s tenure will all turn out…but for a brief shining moment we were back in our world of Buckeye bliss.  The Silver Bullets stoning a high powered opponent, our offense making big plays, the big crowd roaring and storming the field in a display of scarlet and gray madness.  The absolute joy felt in that stadium was not just the result of a big win against a ranked and favored opponent, it was a release of pent up emotion which had been building since last winter.

The big guys on the line of scrimmage made up for getting pushed all over the field in Camp Randall a year ago.  We dominated on both sides of the ball.  The O-line did a good job all day in both protection and run blocking.  Boom ran like a mad man.  If I had to make one criticism it would be that Boom tried to bounce it outside on too many of his runs.  I know that worked great against Illinois, but the Badger defense is a different type of rodent.  Jordon Hall seems to have regressed a bit.  He has been obviously shaky fielding punts and does not seen to run with the same fervor that he did earlier in the year.  Might be time to get Carlos Hyde out of the garage or doghouse.  That being said I have to give a ton of credit to Hall and his kickoff return.  That really set up the final drive and is credit to Hall’s determination and ability to keep his head in the game despite some setbacks.  That kickoff return showed me a lot of character.  Braxton Miller seemingly came of age.  I’m sure he will make some mistakes and has a lot of growing to do.  Still he showed what is to come; we saw the future and it looked awesome.

On defense, the line controlled their gaps, the linebackers contained and filled and we had 11 Silver Bullets flying to the ball.  It was a thing of beauty right up to when it wasn’t.  To completely stifle the Badger running attack was more than amazing.  Bret Bielema looked like the fat kid who had his Halloween candy stolen.  I guess we will have to chalk up the late collapse of the defense to inexperience.

In other games last week, Clemson fell from the ranks of the unbeaten in a big way,  getting drilled by Georgia Tech. 

OU shrugged off their upset to Texas Tech by slaughtering Kansas State and ending their undefeated run.

Stanford and Andrew Luck whipped a homestanding USC and Matt Barkley in the battle of the future NFL QBs. 

 Everyone else held serve in the BCS race as Bama and LSU both had byes.
This week:

Texas A&M visits Oklahoma:  In the pre season this game looked like a really big deal.  Not so much.  OU has been beaten and the Aggies have been wildly inconsistent.  Sooners will roll.

Kansas State at Oklahoma State:  K State no longer matters but to the boys from Stillwater this is another hurdle in their path to BCS championship game.  I don’t think many people realize what an amazing climb it is for this Oklahoma State program to be talking national championship.  Have they ever even been to a BCS bowl game?  They have a way to go yet, but just the fact that they are in the conversation is amazing. This has to prove that T. Boone Pickens is the smartest investor out there.

Oh yeah, it seems there is some kind of contest in Tuscaloosa this week.  8:00 PM to be exact.  From what this humble observer has seen this year these are not only the two best teams, but nobody else is even close.  I think there is a huge gap between these teams and everybody else.  Both offenses, I would say are pretty good.  Trent Richardson is the best running back in the country now that South Carolina’s  Marcus Lattimore is done for the year. The defenses, my oh my!  The defenses are special.  They are both fast and aggressive.  They punish teams.  These may be the best defenses college football has seen for several years. There will be NFL talent all over the field. The defenses are classic examples of why Conference Bubba has been so dominant. 

The threat level in Tuscaloosa has reached Defcon Two and is rising, so it is time for a report from our Cajun Correspondent, deep under cover and just a bit biased:

  Greetings to all in the free world,
   Your Cajun Correspondent is deeply embedded with our troops in collard greens country. Alabama is a beautiful state. There’s only one thing wrong with it. It’s just full of people from Alabama.
  The Tidee Bowl folk here are talking a lot of smack. It seems that our Bayou Bengals are not a worthy enough opponent for their National Championship bound Red Elephants. Their D is better, their RB is better, and, above all else, their Head Coach is just the best in the country. You know, this just some dumb Ole Cajun thinking, but why is it Bama seems to be the only NCAA member that has a mandatory course for their Head Coaches in “Walking On Water 101”? They do have a great RB in Trent Richardson. Their D is the best in the land, by far. Their QB, O-Line and WRs are very efficient. Hey, they’re a very good team. And, actually, the team members are not saying one word of trash toward my beloved Bayou Bengals. However, the “Coaches” that moonlight with regular day jobs are filling that audio void with a lot of mighty big hollering about how bad they’re gonna beat on LSU. Again, I’m just a dumb Ole Cajun, me, but it sure is easy to see who’s been watching game film for the past 2 weeks and is gonna actually play on the field and who’s just been busy listening to the sound of their voices. Must be music to their ears.
  Well, here’s a little news flash for my Conference Bubba Bama Chapter Friends:     We’re coming.
  We really appreciate your kind invitation to pass the afternoon in your yard. We’ll bring our best behavior and our best effort to this little shindig, and then we’ll see how this all shakes out. Gotta a great D? So do we. In fact ours has more turnovers than yours. Gotta a great RB? We’ve used 5 different RBs very effectively this season. In fact, our running game has 50 more attempts than you do this year. Gottan efficient QB? We’ve got 2. Effective WRs? We’ve got 8 that have caught passes this year. Played a tough schedule? You’re opponents are a combined 33 – 33, with 2 winning records, 2 even records, and 2 ranked teams in 8 games. LSU? 38 – 27, with 4 winning records, 2 even records AND 6 ranked opponents.
  Bottom line, … Everybody’s healthy. So, … pull your hat on, buckle it up good and tight, shut your big, fat mouth, and let’s get down to it. Cuz we’re bringing our own cans, and we WILL open them mothers up.
  So let’s tee it up, y’all. The book’s giving us 5 points? I’ll take my Tigers and 5 points  … anytime. In fact, I’ll spot y’all 5 points, cuz I firmly believe you’re gonna need every one you can get.    Let’s see whatcha got, Hot Shot!!!

I have no idea who will win this game, but I cannot wait for the collisions. 

OK, time to try to get serious.  Our Buckeyes need to win every game remaining on their schedule.  No slip-ups allowed and that includes this week’s clash with the Hurryin’ Hoosiers.  All I can tell you about Indiana is that ever since Bobby Knight moved to Texas, everything in that state got boring.  This may be one of the worst Hoosier teams we have seen.  Think about that statement.  There is a lot of competition for that title. They just kicked their best player, off the team.  They have a true freshman quarterback and his name is not Braxton.  Let’s stomp em early and get some snaps for Carlos Hyde and Kenny Guiton.  I just learned that Jordan Hall is doubtful with an ankle sprain. Indiana has defeated only South Carolina State.  They have fallen to the likes of Ball State, North Texas, Northwestern and Iowa among others.   Bucks roll 42 to 10.

                                                                                                                      Wisconsin

Two weeks ago, up in heaven,  Woody Hayes shoved Gandhi aside (though not widely known, Gandhi was a huge college football fan and something of a problem gambler), grabbed the headset and started calling the plays.  At first Luke Fickell was suspicious but it was working so he just relayed the calls.   Four passes attempted and one victory later the Bucks contributed, thankfully, to the demise of the Ron Zook era.  It was, if not a great victory, certainly a much-needed one.  Illinois, as only Ron Zook can, contributed to our win with some bizarre decision making late in the game.  Bottom line is that Illibuck the turtle is safely in Buckeye hands, so long as the NCAA doesn’t make us give it back.

When the MSU prayer was answered Bucky Badger’s magical season, looked a lot like many other Brent Bielema’s  efforts.  Badgers always look great against weaker opponents, especially when playing at home.  When faced with quality opposition away from Camp Randall the Badgers record is similar to that of the French army. 

USC, fresh off a meaningless win over Notre Dame, hosts Stanford.  Matt Barkley and Andrew Luck, potentially the first two NFL draft choices, face off and the Cardinal will prevail. 

ND, fresh off a meaningless loss to USC, hosts Navy.  ND will win.  A word to the Irish faithful:  Relax.  I know this season has not gone the way you hoped, but you do have the right coach….this time.  Kelly will take you as high as you can go, though I really am not sure how high that is these days.  Now would be a really good time to join the Big Ten.  Natural rivalries abound, academic standards, while maybe not as high as your own, are higher than that of most any other conference this side of the PAC 12.  The Big Ten is also winnable.  The SEC is not.  The Big East is irrelevant and the ACC is a basketball conference.  Remaining an independent will continue the cash flow in the short term, but over time will lead you into long term irrelevance.

Florida vs.  Georgia:  What was once a classic has now sunk into the muck of a game meaning nothing to anyone not affiliated with the schools involved.  But that is the game….The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party will remain a classic.  Up North we sit and watch gray skies hemorrhage rain and threaten snow and can only dream of a week-long bacchanal with sunshine, beautiful women, rum drinks, tricked out tailgate vehicles (think RV’s with stripper poles).  Oh yeah throw in a rivalry football game.  I don’t know what your vision of heaven is, but if you were trying to talk me into strapping on a bomb vest and blowing up into a mosque, this might come as close to enticing as anything.

OU visits undefeated Kansas State.  The Sooner’s season blew up like an infant eating Thai food when they could not cover any of the Texas Tech receivers in a rare home loss.  The Wildcats are one of the surprises of the season so far, having scheduled themselves into a 7-0 record.   7-1 is not bad either.

Clemson visits Georgia Tech.  The Tigers, led by QB Taj Boyd, are making Dabo Swinney into a household word.  Georgia Tech can’t keep up in this one as Clemson rolls.

Purdue at Michigan:  The Boilermakers beat Illinois and it impacted me emotionally.  First, I was saddened by the luster it removed from the Buckeye victory over the Illini the previous week. Then it gave  hope that the Boilers could hand the Weasels their second straight loss. Finally, it just reminded me that Ron Zook still coaches Illinois.  In their loss to MSU the Weasels looked confused and on the verge of a two-quarterback system.  This is the time of year when the RichRod Weasels would collapse.  I know the bar is low for Brady Hoax, but I have faith that he can get under it.

Could the Big Ten institute a dress code for head coaches? Please.  Bret Bielma and his Soprano-like warm up suits is the main reason I call for this much needed reform.  I sense Bret has Spider Man pajamas under the track suit.  Is he going to strip them off, stretch out, and run the hurdles?  Grown men, especially paunchy grown men, look silly in warm up suits.  Bo Pellini’s raggedy sweatshirt is next in line.  I know former Brown failure and present NFL genius, Bill Belichick popularized the hoody as coaching apparel to die for, but Bo’s sweatshirt is not in that league. I am not looking to reinstitute neck ties for the coaches.  Certainly Joe Pa still wears one, but with him up in the press box we cannot have him as role model.  For all we know he is sitting up in the booth without pants.  That vision troubles me more than I expected.  Maybe we could have a special edition of “What Not to Wear” for our coaches.

The merger and acquisition activity among the conferences has strangely slowed.  It has slowed with Missouri and West Virginia twisting in the wind.  The WV move to the Big Twelve makes some sense, as the Neers need to find a home while the Big East disintegrates.  Mizzu moving to the SEC, I find bizarre.  Why would Missouri, and for the matter Texas A&M want to move to the SEC?  They both will have higher academics than anyone, aside from Vanderbilt in the SEC.  More importantly,  Mizzu or the Aggies will never, I mean NEVER, make it to the conference championship game, let alone win a championship.  Mizzu should be in the Big Ten and WV should go to the ACC. 

Wisconsin at Ohio State:  The Badgers loss to Michigan State last week has in some ways diminished this clash, at least in the eyes of the nation. In Big Ten country, the Badger loss has made this Laredo Divison clash all the more important.  If the Bucks can pull off the big upset they will be squarely in the driver’s seat.  To avenge last year’s loss in Madison the Buckeyes will need their defense to dominate.  That is a tall order.  With the addition of QB Russell Wilson, the Badger offense is now versatile.  Sure they still have a great offensive line and a stable of good running backs and scary receivers.  Add to that mix, a heady, dual threat QB and you have a pretty potent offense.  The Badger defense is not quite up to their usual standards, but then again the Buckeye offense has hardly threatened anyone this season.  So we need three turnovers and a defensive score.  We need to dominate special teams and one special teams TD.  Face it this is a huge game for Coach Fickell.  Playing the best team on his schedule following a win and a week off, in the Shoe, at night, it sets up well for an upset. 21-17, Buckeyes and bring on the Hoosiers.
 

Illinois 2011

Well, I’m back from a totally unwarranted one game suspension. I go to a friend’s beach house in the Outer Banks for a few days of golf and the NCAA calls that an improper benefit, so I miss the Nebraska game. Can’t anyone have fun?  Speaking of fun…how about the first half in Lincoln?  It looked like we had the Buckeyes of old back on the field.  Then the second half happened and we were back in the sinkhole which this season is rapidly becoming.  Hey, all is not lost we are only 2 games out of first place in the Liebowitz Davison of the Big Ten (12) with plenty of football to be played.

What happened in Lincoln?  One minute we are cruising along looking like the 1975 Buckeyes with a 21 point lead.  Then our QB limps off and our non-QB starts throwing the ball places Google Maps has yet to chart.  When Braxton left everything changed.  The play calling went from Bill Walsh to Bill Murray.  The tackling, inexplicably, went from Jack Tatum to Tatum O’Neil.  Momentum changed sides faster and further than Chaz Bono.  All in all it ended up with one of our most disheartening defeats in recent memory.

Oh there were bright spots.  Braxton Miller played better than most expected him to before next season. Hankins, Simon and the rest of the D-Line dominated the Huskers for 30 minutes. Left tackle Mike Adams made his season debut and impressed.  Carlos Hyde ran like a bull.  Then everything changed.  Still it was an improved performance over the Michigan state fiasco.  It just ended in an epic collapse.  At half time I would have given Luke a 65% chance of keeping his job.  Now I would give him a 40% chance, and that is generous.  I don’t like that.  I don’t think it is fair to Luke, but this is big boy football and this team has to play a lot better to save Luke’s job.  It needs to start this week in Champaign-Urbana.

Elsewhere last week:
The Sooners made an example of the Texas Longhorns and a joke out of the Red River Rivalry by neutering Bevo on national TV.  Maybe the Sooners deserve to be in the discussion with LSU and Alabama after all.

LSU handed the Florida Gators their second straight wacking.  Maybe Urban wants to return to Gainesville. 

The Weasels overcame a bunch of Denurd interceptions to somehow rout Northwestern.

This week:  Not much happening on the national scene this week.  Might be a good weekend for Nike and Under Armor to break out some new hideous uniforms.  Penn State could use a splash of color.  Iowa’s copy of the Steelers is getting a bit dated. 

Michigan at Michigan State – Are the 6-0 Weasels for real?  Win this game in East Lansing and I will believe it.  I think the Spartans get it done and Coach Hoax looks less and less like Bo Schembechler and more like Bo Didley.

Arizona State at Oregon- Not sure if we should care, but this is probably as meaningful a game the PAC 10, 12 or whatever the hell they  are, can produce this year.  At least until the Ducks travel to Stanford on November 12.  Ducks soar this week.

South Carolina at Mississippi State – Now that the Steven Garcia era has officially and permanently ended (or has it?) can the old ball coach just keep running the ball?  Please!
The top 3 teams will roll as OU faces Kansas, and in Conference Bubba LSU travels to Tennessee, and Bama visits Ole Miss.  None will be challenged, though the Tide’s game might be interesting for a while.

Ohio State at Illinois – Ron Zook.  The thought of losing to guy makes my intestines ache.  Maybe it is the amount of Irish whiskey it took me to get over the Husker debacle.  No, it is definitely Ron Zook.  Ron Zook, with all his SEC bluster and funny facial expressions has the Illini 6-0 for the first time since Red Grange. C’mon man, even Brent Musberger can’t remember back that far. Illinois has a soph QB, Nathan Scheelhaase, who they think is the next Jeff George. Seriously, nobody besides his mother liked Jeff George.  I just like reminding the Illini faithful of their legacy.  I think the Buckeye defense plays for 60 minutes and dominates.  Braxton is good enough and our running backs pound them.  Buckeyes 24 Illinois 14.

Note to the world:  It has come to my attention that the NCAA has cleared Auburn of all wrong doing in the Cam Newton saga.  Wow!  And Miami still has had only one player suspended for more than one game.  The NCAA knows justice like Charlie Sheen knows sober.

                                                                                                    Here Comes Sparty

Sadly, Ralphie did not make the trip to Columbus last week and an uninspired Colorado team got rolled by a Buckeye team looking to build. While we didn’t know it at the time, the Joe Bauserman era had ended quietly in South Beach with a 2-1 record. Stay ready, Mr. Bauserman you are, again, one snap from prime time. Braxton Miller took the reigns to the offense against Colorado and did OK. Not spectacular, but good. No fumbles or interceptions. He showed a good bit of elusiveness when he ran. Most of his passes went more less where they were supposed to. Not all of them were caught, but that is another story.

It is hard for me to realize the Buckeyes just beat a team, Colorado, from the PAC 12. I still think of the Buffs as part of the Big 8, which has long since become the Big 12, now with only 10 teams. Please don’t confuse that with the Big 10, which of course has 12 teams. Anyway, we beat ‘em and soundly. Don’t look now but Drew Basil has hit 5 field goals in a row and our special teams against Colorado were,…..well….kind of special. Special in the good sense, not in the short bus sense. Kick and punt coverage was good, Ben Buchanon continues to punt opposing teams deep in their own territory. Jordan Hall did a very nice job on returns. The Buckeye defense showed improvement too. More swarming to the ball, fewer (but still too many) missed tackles. My major concern is in our zone defense, which we, understandably, run most of the time, our DBs drop well into their designated zones. Then they seem to sort of stand there and do not react quickly enough to receivers or footballs entering their zones. Compare them to the roving band of assassins in the LSU and Bama secondary and you will see a very large difference. Maybe it is an experience thing, but there seems to be a lack of aggression back there. I am also a bit concerned with the speed or lack thereof, of our linebackers. Andrew Sweat has looked pretty good, but may now be gimpy and Storm Klein and Sabino seem to get lost for long periods of time. This, too may be mostly an experience thing. Freshman Ryan Shazier, whenever he is in there, seems to be moving at a faster speed than the rest of them. We need the silver bullets to grow up and crank it up this week and beyond.

My other complaint is about the receiving corps and the dropped passes. Nobody catches everything, but this is becoming a problem. We have a rookie QB and not all of his passes are going to be perfectly on target, but when he hits you with the football, it needs to be caught. Until, they start catching passes on a more consistent basis I am going to refer to our receivers as wide outs. I thought the coaches did a nice job of managing Braxton’s initial start. I know he only attempted 13 passes, but certainly more passes were called, but a bunch of them ended up with the freshman, after surveying and reading the defense, for maybe a nanosecond, deciding to run. It was enough to allow him to grow, and for our team to win. Mission accomplished. But now the mission grows. However much Braxton grows this week and beyond, this Buckeye team will be a running team. That is where the talent is. I have been listening to fans for over 50 years complain that, Woody, Earle, Coop, and Tress, needed to “open up the offense”. The thinking seemed to be that the coaches, after having spent 100 hours in preparation for this game, with their livelihoods on the line, just slammed running backs into piles of defenders, so as to piss off all the fans. If they just passed more, the Buckeyes would never lose. Well, this team is not geared that way. Patience, people, patience. Some times you just need to punt and try to flip field position. Some times you need your defense to make a big play. Well, we have been winning about 90% of our games over that 50 year period, with pretty much the same offensive philosophy. This is not the year it is going to change.

Last week:

LSU survived the trip to Morgantown . The Tigers dominating performance prevented the couch inferno that authorities had feared. LSU has moved to the top of the polls and begins a leisurely stroll through Conference Bubba this week. If it weren’t for the language barrier and the grits thing I would consider moving south to enjoy some great football in the next few weeks. Bama at Florida this week. Florida at LSU next week. November 5 LSU at Alabama. An all-you-eat buffet for FB junkies. Yum!

Dabomania lives as Clemson whipped up on a FSU team suffering the after effects of their loss to OU. Can Clemson be this year’s Auburn? Did I just insult Clemson? I have no idea how much Clemson paid for their QB, Tajh Boyd, but he looks like he is worth every penny. How many of us could find both Clemson and Auburn on a map? Is their exact location some secret of the confederacy? Is there a reason they do not have a state in their name? I know some other schools don’t have state names but they are Duke and Stanford and all those Ivy League teams with academics.

Games this week:

Nebraska at Wisconsin: Beware my gentle children of the corn; Madison at night is a hot mess. Oh, on the field, I’m sure your Huskers will compete well with the Badgers. UW fans are not exactly known for the ability to hold their liquor. The Badger fans are obnoxious by noon, but by the 8:00 PM kick off in Camp Randall, I think projectile vomiting will be as much of a problems as the Badger O-line. 30,000 Husker fans are expected in Madison for Nebraska’s first game in the Big Ten. What ESPN keeps referring to as the great atmosphere in Camp Randall will, by about 7:30 degenerate into a “prison riot with coeds”. (Thank you Dan Jenkins). The Badgers are favored and I cannot come up with a good reason for them to lose, though I can think of plenty why I want them to lose. I am not sure but I think a Badger loss would help our cause in the Leopold Division of the Big Ten. I think Nebraska is in the Leonard Division, so we don’t have to worry about their record. This whole division thing is not settling well with me.

Alabama at Florida: The Gators are stronger than expected, but I still think the Tide defense will be too much to overcome, even in the Swamp.

Notre Dame at Purdue: The Irish take their turnover machine to Purdue. I don’t see any way Notre Dame can screw up enough to lose this one. Purdue is lousy and this game will show that.

Minnesota at Michigan: Who cares? Is this the battle for Paul Bunion’s ox or something like that? Again, no one cares. The Weasels will likely win this one easily as the Gophers are bad. Minnesota doesn’t even know if they will have their coach. First year mentor, Jerry Kill has been suffering seizures and may not be back for the trip to Ann Arbor. So the bad guys win and Brady Hoax continues his assault on Hometown Buffet. Yes, the Weasels are 4-0, on their way to 5-0.. They were undefeated at this point in the season in both 2009 and 2010. They are better, but still they are not good. Fear not, Buckeye Nation.

Auburn at South Carolina: Isn’t this the kind of game that Spurrier teams always seem to blow. Maybe the Old Ball Coach will give the ball enough to Marcus Lattimore to prevent QB Stephen Garcia from losing the game

Nevada at Boise: The Broncos try to avenge the defeat which prevented them from whining about the BCS in 2010. This year, on the Smurf Turf, the Broncos will roll.

Kentucky at LSU: The Tigers will vacation in sunny Baton Rouge while embarrassing the visiting Wildcats. Kentucky produces great bourbon and excellent pre-probation college basketball. Football just enhances the bourbon as they wait for hoops.

Michigan State at OSU: Although we have not played the Spartans for the last two seasons, Coach Dantonio is 0-2 against the Bucks. Coach “Dino”, of course, was an ultra-successful defensive coordinator for the Buckeyes early in the Tressel era. Coach Dantonio is very close with Luke Fickell, so you know both coaches want this one on a personal basis. The relationship which worries me is Dantonio and Jim Bollman. Since Dantonio was on the OSU staff for years, I am sure he knows the mind of Jim Bollman very well. I think the fact that Toledo Coach Tim Beckman has been on the OSU staff may have contributed more than we know to the closeness of that game. Sending our freshman QB against a Dantonio defense is not a desirable scenario. Our line and running backs need to help out the young QB in a big way. Need I mention that the receivers need to get open and C..A..T..C..H the ball. On defense the Silver Bullets need to swarm to the ball and stuff the run. We do not want to allow Kirk Cousins to play-action us to death. Our DB’s need to step up the aggressiveness and make some big plays. Also the fans, yeah us, need to make some noise. Cousins is a 5th year senior and we cannot let him sit back and analyze. Pressure to hurry him and noise to disrupt their communications. Look, Michigan State is a good team, but not a great team. They were humiliated by Alabama in the Capital One Bowl at the end of last season, and they got drilled by a mediocre Notre Dame team this year. Plus they are Michigan State and despite the Dantonio effect they still have psychosis in their collective DNA. They are never more than a few snaps away from a melt-down. The Buckeyes will steal Sparty’s medication and win 20-13.

                                                                                                                     Colorado

Man the life boats, the good ship Buckeye has hit something in south Florida waters and she is taking on water like Ron White takes on Scotch.  Though it was only a shake-down cruise, the damage might be serious.  Remain calm.  The ship will make it back to port in Columbus and will sail again this Saturday.  Remember, you woke up this morning( a plus in itself) and you are still not Lloyd Carr's love child.

What happened? Miami has great speed and it took the OSU defense a quarter to adjust. It shouldn't have, but it did. The troubling thing to me is it was wildly reminiscent of the way Wisconsin blitzed us for 21 quick points in Madison last year.  It seems that we might be getting caught flat-footed on the road.  Why? The offense, ran the ball well when it was straight ahead.  Miami owned the perimeter on both offense and defense. The OSU passing game was nonexistent.  Bauserman gives up on plays and is too quick to throw it away.  In his defense that is better than throwing picks or taking sacks; still it doesn't move the chains and is causing me to drink too much.  Sadly, Joe was also inaccurate, other than when his receivers were dropping balls.  Miller, while he showed some evasiveness,  did not demonstrate any kind of ball security and generally looked, as his fullback, Justin Boren so delicately put it, frazzled.  Frazzled is not good. Frazzled causes me to drink.  The Buckeye receivers, when not dropping passes, were not bothering to get open let alone help their QBs when protection broke down.  The positives are that defense played hard all game and well for most of three quarters.  The offensive line did a decent job of blocking at the point of attack and in pass protection.   Both Jordan Hall and Carlos Hyde ran well up the gut and I thought were impressive. Things not to worry about:  Luke's use or non-use of timeouts at the end of the game.  It really did not matter at all.  Miami not taking a knee at the end of the game.  See the previous statement.  Things to worry about or as my English teacher would say things about which  to worry:  Quarterback.  While we get 4 pretty good players back in 2 weeks, none of them is a QB.  I think Braxton Miller will get a lot better the more he plays.  The ball security issue is very coachable.  Reading defenses and making adjustments at the LOS will take time, a lot of time.  Can he overcome his strategic limitations with athletic ability?   Joe B. is likely better than he looked.  Despite the fact that Joe is a 12th year red, gray and any other color we can think of, shirt, he doesn't have much more game experience than Braxton.  Personally, I would give the car keys  to our teenager, go home and pray.  I would be thankful for his safe return each time he gets the car back in the garage and hope he learns and grows each time out. I would not go out to inspect the car for dings and scratches, cause they are gonna be there.  I would keep Joe ready because as much as Braxton runs around the chances are that somewhere along the way he is going get dinged. I would drink heavily.  Is Kenny Guiton totally out of the picture here?  I had to ask.

Elsewhere last week: OU survived a trip to Tallahassee.  The Noles QB went down and that changed things dramatically.  Oddly that forced FSU to pass more with their backup QB.    When the game was on the line Landry  Jones showed his stuff and it should at least get him invited to NY when they hand out that little trophy. The Seminoles may be the team to beat in the ACC, but must get by an impressive Clemson team which snapped Auburn's streak of very lucky wins.  Clemson coach Dabo Swinney (loving mothers do not name their children Dabo) was so fired up after the game, he discarded coach-speak and gave a Knute Rockne speech... after the game. Look out world here comes, as Fred Flintsone would say, Dabo Dabo Doooo.  Or as my friend Sue said after watching his  tirade "A little Dab'll Do ya".  If Clemson wins this week we may be dealing with Dabomania for a while.  LSU barely allowed home standing Mississippi Sate to breathe let alone score a TD.  The Tiger defense is something. I can't wait til they tee it up with Alabama.  Neither offense is likely to score, but oh my(thank you Dick Enberg), there will be some amazing collisions.

This week:  Arkansas at Alabama:  The Bama offense has not quite hit stride yet this season and is largely reliant on running back Trent Richardson, which is a little like saying Ford is reliant on selling cars and trucks.  The Tide still has one of the best two defenses in the country and that will be enough to get the win.

Oklahoma State at Texas A&M: Two programs which seem to be on the cusp of something special.  I think the Cowboys have a bit more and win a game which should be fun to watch.

LSU at WVU:  Once again our Cajun correspondent  has some words for us.  "Since the Mountaineers play on artificial turf (Field Turf), we're gonna bring some of our own Bahia and St. Augustine grass to the game. Gotta keep our Head Coach comfortable.  West Virginia is a great opponent and a great place to visit.  That being said, Cajuns don't know much about West Virginia, but them Mountaineers are talking a LOT of smack. We're bringing our own officials for this game. We might need them, seeing as how their idea of a victory celebration involves burning their own couches. What in da hell is dat about??? And since "word gets around, guys talk, you hear things", is it really true that West Virginia keeps Ohio from falling into Virginia??? Since y'all live a lot closer to them than we do, it might be good idea to keep an eye on them people. Bobby Bowden used to coach there a while back, too. That might explain a few things about the Noles playing Indian around a fire." 

Florida State at Clemson:  You know you are south of the Mason-Dixon line when the two coaches facing off in this headliner of a game are Jimbo and Dabo.  Jimbo vs. Dabo.  I can hardly say it without spitting grits all over my shirt. I like Clemson in the game aqnd cheese on my grits.

San Diego State at UM:  Brady Hoax's old team vs. Brady Hoax's new team.    Weasels will win the game but it might be fun for a while.

Notre Dame at Pitt:  Can the Irish handle success after whipping up on Michigan State?  Probably, as Pitt won't exactly provide quality opposition.  The Panthers gagged away a potential win last week to a very average Iowa team.  Speaking of gagging, the Irish offense has coughed up more balls than an asthmatic cat. 13 turnovers in 3 games makes one think the Panthers have a shot.

Colorado at Ohio State: The Buffs have a good QB in Tyler Hansen and running back in Westerville native Rodney Stewart.  New coach Jon Embree is trying to undo the damage done by his predecessor, Dan Hawkins, did to this once mediocre program.  Actually the 1-2 record is a bit misleading.  They lost the opener to Hawaii 34-17, but took Cal to OT before falling 36-33.  Last week they beat in-state rival Colorado State 28-14.  The Buckeye defense is angry and will not miss 27 tackles this week.  The offense will see a lot more of Braxton Miller.  At times we will wonder why he hasn't been in on every snap and at times we will cover our eyes and weep.   Our Buckeyes will move on to the Big Ten with a 2-1 record after dispatching the Buffs 27-10.  Colorado does have the best animal mascot in the world which leads me to ask if Ralphie is coming to Columbus? Please, please, please!

A word on the conference realignment mess:  First a disclaimer of sorts.  What I am about to say may or may not make any sense.  But since the situation itself defies all conventional logic let us proceed.  First let's look at what we have presently.  Mathematic issues: Big Ten has 12 teams; Big Twelve has 10 teams.  Geography issues:  TCU(that is TEXAS Christian University) has been granted access to the Big East.  Conference Bubba, as in the Southeastern Conference, is in the process of adding Texas A&M (go look up College Station, Texas and explain to me how A&M is in the Southeast).  The PAC (Pacific Athletic Conference) recently added Colorado and Utah to its ranks.  Frankly it already had Arizona and Arizona State, but I had attributed their admission to the fact that while they were not on the edge of the Pacific Ocean they had impressive amounts of sand.  Syracuse(as in Syracuse NEW YORK , and Pitt are moving from the Big East to the Atlantic Coast Conference. Of course the Big Ten started all this when they added Penn State, back when Joe Paterno was a young man and did not change their name to reflect the addition of an 11th team.  When Nebraska joined the fold the Big Ten still kept the name but split into the Legging and the Legume divisions so they could play a championship game.  So now we have Big East imploding ( does anyone care until basketball season), The SEC trying to add A&M, the Big 12 watching Texas and Oklahoma flirt with the PAC 12  while Oklahoma State and Texas Tech sit in the back seat waiting to follow.  West Virginia is running around like a fat girl at the dance being rejected by both the ACC and SEC. Then, like parents showing up at a teenage beer binge, the PAC 12 announced they were not interested in expanding....at this time.  Whoa!  What the...???  Right now the whole thing makes as much sense as a map of Europe.  Stay tuned.

A word on stadium deportment for those in The Shoe this week.  No matter who plays QB and no matter what your thoughts are on the situation, both Miller and Bauserman deserve your support.  Let's not have a replay of the embarrassing way Todd Boeckman was treated.  Please!  They are both Buckeyes.

 

Miami

OSU 27 – Toledo 22.  OK, you saw it.  I saw it.  It is over. It was ugly, very ugly.  I was surprised but probably should not have been.  Don’t we do this pretty much on an annual basis?  Sort of like some dreaded family reunion.  You have to go, but you really don’t want to go there.  Still, you show up and make nice and are miserable.  You keep reminding yourself that if you make it through this stupidity without a nasty divorce you get to go to Florida next week.  So our young Buckeye team sleep-walked through a near MACatastrophe.  This was not unlike what we have done in years past against Ohio, Marshall, Bowling Green, Cincinnati and Navy.  It is not a good thing, but seems to be something of a rite of passage.   The difference this year is we are not sure we have enough playmakers on the field to flip the switch when the competition merits doing so.   First a word to those five to ten thousand “fans” who thought it was appropriate to boo when Joe Bauserman avoided a sack by throwing the ball away or missed a receiver.  We have been over this before; it is never, and I do mean never, appropriate to boo a player in scarlet and gray.  Second, if you are going to behave in such a manner please go to your family reunion or whatever lame activity you have in your sad little life and stay the hell out of our stadium.  OK, back to the matter at hand.  My observations were as follows.  On Defense.  The Bucks tackled very poorly, especially on the perimeter. We did a lousy job of shedding blocks, which were probably holds.  It seemed that we had players in position to make plays on the quick screens and hitch passes which gave us so much trouble, but they whiffed or got locked up with blockers too long.  This is very fixable, and I trust will be remedied.  Pass coverage.  Our DB’s cover very well.  I saw very few receivers open beyond five yards beyond the LOS.  No one was fooled by the attempted double pass (thus, it stayed a single pass).  We had some trouble with the Wildcat formation.  Beyond the first time, I do not know why.  Toledo’s offense was good, and they were fast.  It will be interesting to see if they move the ball this Friday when they host Boise State in the Glass Bowl.  That may tell us a lot more than my ramblings.  We really need John Simon on the field.  When he left on a cart in the third quarter, to be re-animated in the locker room, it was scary.  Fortunately he returned in time to lead a late defensive stand and save the day.  It would also help if Nathan Williams would be available this week, but I just learned he was scoped today and is out indefinitely.  Andrew Sweat and Dominic Clark are players.  Tyler Moeller, please come back to being what you used to be.
Offense:  Joe Bauserman started hot then cooled off.  His receivers need to do a better job of making plays for him, especially on the long balls.  Joe needs to know that if he puts the ball within your grasp, you will beat the defender and go get the ball.  I would have loved to have seen Braxton Miller play, but I don’t think there was any place to get him in.  The coaches see him every day in practice and they know what he can and cannot do and what he knows and what confuses him.  If they thought he would have helped the cause last Saturday he would have played.  Please trust our coaches.  Luke and company were doing all they could to win the game against Toledo. Sure Braxton may be the future, but with this team we had damn well better stay in the moment. And at this moment Bauserman gives us the best chance to win.  I hope that changes some in Florida.
The one coaching decision I will question is this.  When we were driving to salt the game away middle of the 4th quarter why did we give the ball to a freshman who fumbled last week?  That should have been Carlos Hyde’s ball all the way on that drive.  If we had scored, we would not be going through all this angst.  Field goals.  Someone needs to do a Jedi mind-meld for Drew Basil.  He looks so good on the PATs and is even OK on kickoffs, but what happens on the field goals.  I know he has a cast on his arm and hand, but cannot figure out how that screws up his kicking.  I guess we need to remember that it was toe injury which ended Dizzy Dean’s pitching career.   Maybe the cast throws off his weight shift as he kicks.  I think Drew may need to hire one of Tiger Woods’ former swing coaches and implement the stack and tilt.  My friend Roger Obenauf is available to explain and demonstrate the stack and tilt to the uninitiated.  Our special teams as a whole are a mess. Why?  Didn’t we used to win with special teams and defense?   Kickoff coverage has been spotty at best and we are coming up against a team who, if my memory is correct, took back both a punt and a kickoff for TD’s last year. We have had a punt blocked and to the naked eye Ben Buchanon seems slow in getting the punts off, not that the block was his fault.  Now that we have had a kick blocked there is blood in the water and every team we play will be trying for the block.    We have been below average in special teams for the last several seasons and I don’t get it.  One last gripe about the offense is that our RBs seem to lack  vision at times and make bad cuts.  That may very much be an experience thing.  Hyde in particular, has made some nice cuts, but has missed a few opportunities too.  I am not sure what to make of the offensive line just yet.  They appear to be coming off the ball quicker and harder than in years past.  They have done a good job for the most part in pass pro.  We do OK at the LOS, but do not seem to be able to get any helmets on guys in the next level, allowing the LBs and safeties to keep  blowing up our plays.
All in all, we need to keep several things in mind.  First this is a very, very young football team.  Secondly, missing the suspended parts is hurting a lot.  Whoever the playmakers are going to be this year, we have not seen them yet.  That could be because they are young and have not yet fully emerged, or they may not have played yet.  Another distinct possibility is that we are just not very good.  If we lose to Miami, brace yourself, 2011 is going to be a rocky ride.  If we beat Miami, remain with your seatbacks fully upright and your seatbelts fastened because I am not sure if Miami is any good either.  We do know for sure that there will be turbulence with the Spartans, Huskers and Badgers.
Other games last week:
Notre Dame at Michigan:  The first night game in the big house.  Wow!  Electricity comes to Ann Arbor.  Every week we get some team on national TV changing their unis.  Weasels, were your regular home jerseys not ugly enough?  The Weasel throw-back jerseys were more throw up than throw- back and on HD TVs no doubt caused projectile vomiting throughout the nation. By comparison Notre Dame’s throwback uniforms were just silly.  I thought their helmets looked a bit like a Lucky Charms cereal box.  It looks like Irish coach Kelly has cleaned up his potty mouth.  I did not see Irish coach Kelly swear once.  Sadly his defensive backs play did not improve as much as their coach’s vocabulary.  You gotta feel for Coach Kelly.  His defensive game plan was sound.  Stop the run, contain Denard Robinson and force him to pass.  They did just that.  Then when Robinson launched passes which had the parabolic arc of a miss-fired mortar, the Irish DBs wobbled around aimlessly while the Weasel receivers accepted the gifts floating down from heaven.  The Irish looked like early astronomers, staring skyward in silly outfits, not quite knowing what they were seeing.  It was the most amazing example of bad air defense since we attacked Iraq.  With a secondary of Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder and Jose Feliciano Notre Dame will get scored on more than Paris Hilton.  Just a suggestion but I’ll bet Michael Floyd could double as a DB at times much the way Chris Gamble did for the Bucks in the 2002-03 seasons.  All this allowed Weasel coach Brady Hoax to be off and running (probably  in pursuit of the Krispy Kreme truck) with a 2-0.  I am not sure whether Coach Hoax more closely resembles Fozzie Bear or Flounder of Animal House.             
South Caroline at Georgia:  The Bulldogs are now following up their stellar 6-7 2010 campaign with a 0-2 start.  The only thing anyone cares about in Athens now is who their next coach will be. 
Alabama at Penn State:  Nick Saban and the Tide looked like they were just trying to get out of Nittanyville without embarrassing the natives and their ancient chief.  I think Alabama is really good, especially on defense.
Iowa vs.  Iowa State:  The campaign to make Kirk Ferentz Coach of the Year permanently has been sidetracked.  Still the Hawkeye faithful will want to extend his contract because you never know when the NFL may need a guy who can’t win championships and looses to his rival (and a very mediocre one at that).  Just a tip to Coach Ferentz, John Cooper is still waiting for that same phone call.

This week:
LSU at Mississippi State (Thurs): I don’t think all the cowbells in Starkville can stop the Tigers.  After rudely dispatching the Demons from Northwestern state, the Bayou Bengals are ready for anything.
MSU at Notre Dame:  Notre Dame is not as bad as their 0-2 record indicates, but they are bad enough to lose to the Spartans and become 0-3.  Somehow, the Irish are favorites; what does Vegas know that we don’t?
Boise State at Toledo (Fri):  Wouldn’t it be nice to see the Rockets hang with Boise?  Would that not give us a sense of optimism and reduce our reliance on antacids before kickoff Saturday.
OU at Florida State:  I think Alabama, LSU and OU are really good.  I think FSU is high up among the “pretty goods”.  Can pretty good beat really good? No
Ohio State at Miami:  Last year the Buckeye defense had very little problem with the Hurricane offense.  Cane coach Randy Edsall has banned earrings and caps indoors.   Does he mean caps as in “hats” or caps as in “if you say that about my momma again I’m gonna bust a cap in yo ass?”  I recall that in a similar step toward a more disciplined program previous coach Randy Shannon had banned guns from the team’s facilities.  Sounds like the place is going to be a monastery pretty soon. In 2010, the Canes hurt us with their return game and helped us with Jacory Harris penchant for throwing picks.  We look every bit as vulnerable to returns, but Harris has been suspended so we have no evidence if his generosity will continue.
We need to be able to run the ball this week.  Really.  We need some big plays on defense like fumbles and interceptions.  Special teams need to not screw up.  Sounds like a pretty simple (and obvious) formula for victory.  Control the LOS, win the turnover battle and be OK in special teams.  I really have no idea.  We saw Miami lose to Maryland, but they were without eight players who had been suspended for just one game.  Plus no one knows if Maryland is any good and everyone was distracted by their ugly uniforms.  Will we see some more of Jamaal Berry and possible Braxton Miller.  Too many questions for this simple mind to know anything for sure.  We just have learned that our three suspended players (not to be confused with our 4 other still suspended players) have been reinstated.  If the NCAA geniuses don’t change their minds again, this should be good news.  How much it will matter is anyone’s guess.  So, just for fun I will predict a Buckeye victory to the tune of 27-17.  Yes, you read that right; Drew Basil emerges from his funk and stack and tilts two field goals.  Here’s hoping! My real advice is to start drinking early for this one.