The Pro Bowl is this weekend. That might be the worst collection of 6 words ever written. Step aside John Rocker, Ann Coulter, Joe Biden, Michael Savage, Howard Stern or anyone else who utters offensive/stupid phrases. You have met your match. THE PRO BOWL IS THIS WEEKEND. Game, set and match. Your wicked tongues cannot top that horrifying sentence.
I can't think of a bigger waste of time than the NFL Pro Bowl. Seriously, I would rather watch a reality show about hoarders of empty toilet paper tubes or used diapers than suffer through the NFL All-Star/Replacement Star/Alternate Star/Warm Body Game. There is UFC on Fox this weekend. Meh. By itself that is hardly enough to draw my attention. There are some CBB games of course, and regular season NBA games. Again........flat-lining. Oh I forgot about the Aussie Open. How could I? While I love a good tennis match I don't love them enough to watch them in the middle of the night. Federer-Nadal at 3:30 a.m. actually sounds like punishment for an insomniac, or maybe it's actually a cure. SO............opportunity knocks, or it texts/tweets, I mean who knocks anymore?
I implore you my friends to help me in my quest to invent the ultimate Sports-Entertainment Event to fill the void in our souls that is created by NFL Pro Bowl Week. So here is what I am thinking. NASCAR kick off race, College Basketball on top of a very tall building (they did an aircraft carrier already), Beyonce and Jay-Z, NHL Hockey on a melting arctic ice sheet with polar bears nearby, Steven Tyler and Paula Abdul, NBA in an arena with only black lights and Tim Donaghy officiating, Kool and the Gang featuring KC and the Sunshine Band, UFC on Fox (what the hell keep in there) and I'm spent.
It could start at noon on Saturday and run through prime-time Sunday night. It would be epically epic in its epicness, and we could call it "Not The NFL Pro Bowl" brought to you by Instant Gratification.com.