75% of Columbus should not be allowed to drive.

DJ Byrnes's picture
April 16, 2013 at 4:05p
102 Comments

I love Columbus; it has the greatest reservoir of untapped potential of any metropolis in America. After washing ashore on the muddied banks of the Olentangy in 2008 with only a tortoiseshell cat named "Betsy Ross" and bottle of Lady Bligh in my possession, I have never contemplated leaving the Capital City. Outside of the abomination that is Power 107.5, however, one thing has truly driven me insane about Columbus:

Only 25% of the people who drive cars should be allowed on the open roads.

I don't know if this is a by-product of America's car culture, or yet another wanton failure of our government, but I'm only here to point my bony, pasty finger at the Neanderthals who can only be described in the words of Bill Burr as "In-the-Way People." Seriously, spend a day driving aimlessly around Columbus and you will be left with such questions as: "How do these people operate a blender, let alone a 2,500 lbs. vehicle capable of instantly dealing death to other human beings?"

Most people in Columbus aren't aware of this hidden trick discovered by a stay-at-home mom, so allow me to illuminate: in your car, usually on the left of your steering wheel, is a lever called a "turn signal." Now, as the phrase may suggest, this can be used to signal which way you attend to turn your vehicle. Before you engage in a sudden turn across three lanes of traffic (because you've failed to grasp the numerically named streets originally set up for your convenience), it might be best to hit your turn-signal to save somebody from t-boning you... because chances are you're driving without insurance.

If you're making a left hand-turn, PULL UP INTO THE INTERSECTION. That way, the cars immediately behind you won't have to wait a whole light cycle to make the same turn you just did.

This next one may be too big of a concept for the feeble mind of the average Columbus Driver, but I'm going to roll with it anyway. If you're approaching a red light/stopped traffic, always stop before side-streets. This allows other people to turn on/off that side-street and not congest traffic any further than it already is. Driving is all about give-and-take (another concept lost on Columbus Drivers), and it's the best drivers who defer to others.

On that same vein, if you're at, let's just say a 4-way stop intersection, and somebody waves you on, GO. They have offered you their turn, SO TAKE IT. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, sit there like a clown and wave them on instead. YOU HAVE JUST WASTED EVERYONE'S TIME AND SQUANDERED THE CHARITY.

Speaking of four way intersections, wow. I'm not going to even go there because given the antics I've seen by Columbus Drivers, it'd be like trying to teach calculus to people who still write with crayons. The same goes with the merging, which is something that has probably baffled Columbus drivers since the days of the Model-T. We're too far down our hellacious path to attempt Enlightment now.

The best piece of advice I can offer to Columbus drivers is REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE SIX-INCH BUBBLE OF SELF-AWARENESS you have swaddled yourself in and PAY ATTENTION. It might be earth-shattering for most of Columbus' drivers, but there is an entire world outside of the six inches in front of your face. Driving is really not that difficult, as evidenced by the government allowing dipshit 16 year-olds to do it.

This is all without exploring another concept which Columbus drivers fail to grasp: street-parking. In short:

  • You're supposed to line your front-bumper up with the meter, not the middle of your car. You should be able to deduce this from simply looking at the placement of the meters, yet here we are.
  • You don't need six yards between you and the next car parked on the street. Obnoxious parking like that just screws other people out of precious parking spaces in Central Columbus, which is the purpose of this exercise: to expand your worldview past the six-inches of your gaping, oxygen-sucking maw.
  • If you're bad at parallel parking, it's because you want to be. It's not a quirky part of your personality that you get to laugh at with your friends, and you should be stripped of your license immediately because you're a terrible human being.

Columbus is a dragon who is only now being awoken. By 2020, the sky is literally the limit for this great city. Do you want to be a thoughtful, functioning denizen of the Capital City? Or do you want to be another short-sighted, self-absorbed sieve on what we're trying to accomplish?

Believe it or not, your driving goes along way towards answering that question.

Comments

steensn's picture

Ha! Recently being in California for 4 years I laugh because I learned so much there. Mostly, those 75% in Columbus would die in the first 3 days from: (1) not paying attention = crash (2) getting shot at a 4 way stop because they wasted everyone's time sitting there (3) got in everyone's way = crash. Simply put, most areas of the country you either learn how to drive or you die... Ohio driving is too lax for most areas of the country.

KBonay's picture

Right?!
Try driving through areas like Westminster, CA.  Or getting behind every jack-ass in a Prius who tries to conserve their gas in the fast-lane.  CA driving is the worst. PERIOD.

steensn's picture

I certainly didn't say they were "good" drivers ;), but they don't locked into a waving contest at a 4 way stop. In fact, if you don't just go, you won't get a chance.

GoldenBearBuckeye's picture

Agree that California DRIVING is the worst   .... which is why So. Cal DRIVERS are the best.
They drive fast, they pass on the left and they use their turn signals.  They are the proverbial rats in the cage.  If you aren't paying attention, do not get on the road.  Incompetence is not an option.
Lived many places -- Ohio drivers and No. Cal drivers are medium.  Colorado drivers piss-poor (no driver's training required and they grew up with 25% of the people there now, so they don't share nicely).  So. Cal drivers are head and shoulders above the rest

Dougger's picture

Feel better after writing that? haha I can see where you're coming from DJ, but have you ever been to any other major city? Do you have any friends that live in another major city outside of Ohio? Dallas? Milwaukee? Chicago? LA? Everybody says that about every city they live in. I've actually noticed people using their turn signals a lot more recently to be honest.
Bottom line is there are people who don't drive up to standards everywhere, so it's up to you to be safe at least. it's unfortunate people don't use their turn signal, and that you gotta wait a few more minutes to get to your destination
Bottom bottom line: go bucks.

I like football

aboynamedtracy's picture

Wait, wait, wait... we're designating Milwaukee as a major city now? When did that happen? I think someone's been drinking their Miller Lite kool aid...

NoVA Buckeye's picture

They drink it like it's Kool Aid, so why go away from it?

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

buck-I.8's picture

The angsty return of the once-hailed DJ to the 11W blogging community comes like this? I'd recommend a stress ball and a(nother) mulligan.

William's picture

I feel the same about drivers in Columbus every time I get on I-71. It's like people don't know how to merge, or use their turn signal. But as my uncle once told me "Half of the people in this country are idiots, you can't expect them to drive smart." Also in Driver's Ed they no longer teach people to pull into the intersection when turning left, it boggles my mind. 

Baroclinicity's picture

In some places, it's illegal and gets you a ticket...
edit:  annnnnnd of course being late to this party, I didn't read all the way down the thread and see the lengthy discussion.  I do this often and never learn...

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

kr66osu's picture

If you think drivers in Columbus are bad, try driving in Chicago

lamplighter's picture

or Louisville, DC, Cincinnati, or anywhere in the tsun (possibly the worst anywhere).  Toronto is not all that great either

BME_Buckeye's picture

I second this. I don't know how people in that city make it driving daily but I have severe road rage (flipping people off, blowing horn, yelling at drivers, bumper riding and etc.) Its as if they don't mind cutting people off and just running them over. I'll never forget when we were driving to Milwaukee from Cleveland and stopped in Chicago the number of near accidents we were in. It was a good thing I wasn't driving as I was paranoid riding through the city as a passenger. I pray that I never have to work/drive in cities like Chicago, LA, Atlanta and etc. 
The author should also note, Columbus drivers don't know how to navigate through snow when it hits the ground. 

Look closely, because the closer you think you are, the less you will actually see.

 

Buckabroad's picture

So true, especially about Atlanta. But if you want a real adrenaline rush, try driving anywhere in the Rhineland in Germany, preferably on a holiday. No one has even the slightest regard for their own or anyone else's life. Pure rage, daring, recklessness and overestimation of one's ability. Most travel at 130 mph in a line of several cars, all bumper-to-bumper. If anyone blinks, everyone dies. It's amazing I'm still alive.

"The minute we stop expecting greatness, we become Wisconsin."

SPreston2001's picture

Ahhh the autobahn!!! Very fun place to drive but like you said it can also be VERY dangerous!!

Bucks43201's picture

Bravo!

"You win with people." - Woody Hayes

William's picture

Anyway Columbus has nothing on Atlanta. Of the many times that I've driven from Ohio to North Carolina/Georgia/New York/Texas (family), the only city where I've seen horrendous accidents has been Atlanta. It's like they have a restriction on people with an IQ greater than 5, for if your IQ is above that, you're not allowed to drive. 

causeicouldntgo43's picture

Let's face it, driving anywhere these days in the age of the distracted driver, requires a full-time navigator/defensive coordinator to ride shotgun and to audible all the inane moves going on around you........

Nappy's picture

Indianapolis is no better.  Fuckin dumbass Hoosiers.

Fan of bacon since 1981

MN Buckeye's picture

Or anywhere in the state of Indiana

JYBUCKEYE's picture

Very well written post DJ!!  Try living close to a tourist attraction (Cedar Point) you get all these ass clowns coming to one city.  By the way Meatchicken drivers are the worst.  They drive like they root for their team (self entitled, arrogant, stupid, delusional).

William's picture

I have found driving in Michigan to be a blast. Once you hit I-75 north of the border, it turns into NASCAR, me gusta. 

JYBUCKEYE's picture

I know.  It was just a jab @ Meatchicken.  

southbymidwest's picture

Heh. Grew up in NW Ohio. When idiot drivers would zooooom past us on I-75, or, my personal favorite, tailgate in the right hand lane while you are going 15 miles over the speed limit with no one in the left hand lane, 9 times out of 10 it would be an idiot Michigan driver acting like the truck driver in the movie Duel, and you are the hapless Dennis Weaver. (This just shows my age, as it came out in the early 70's. Yikes.)
At least Columbus drivers don't brake going up an icy hill during a "mixed precipitation" event like they do here in Virginia. Or act like Son of Duel during said events because they think that because they have a 4 wheel drive they can stop on a dime on icy roads. Yeah. I know. I whine.

Jelligrim's picture

Detroit rush hour = 90 mph.  Love driving there.

BrewstersMillions's picture

I work for the nation's largest auto insurance company and see the wonders of the human mind behind the wheel of a car on a day to day basis. The lengths people will go to explain why they feel they aren't the cause of an accident never cease to amaze me. Now, I only get to see Illinois drivers at their finest but I'm of the mind that %75 of the country can't drive. Its not just Columbus, or Ohio. Its the country.

Do I come off as arrogant? Shame on me, I was hoping it would more obvious.

Dougger's picture

craziest story... go

I like football

BrewstersMillions's picture

Its not so much a story as a theme. Rear end collisions are all pretty much cut and dry. If you rear end someone-you are at fault 99.9 percent of the time, barring some strange scenario. I had a girl tell me that she hit a stopped car but didn't think it was her fault because her cell phone provider sent her a text reminder to pay her bill, so since she was afraid of losing service, she was attempting to pay it online. She admitted she had one hand on her phone, another rifling through her purse to find her debit card. Plowed into some 78 year old woman who was making her once a day trip out of her house. Girl had the nerve to say "She was old and shouldn't be driving anyway".
Now, I'm supposed to do what's best for my clients at all time but when she asked "Is this going to affect my rates because I don't think I was at fault" it took every ounce of strength I had to not throw her out of my office by her ear.
Not crazy so much as its annoying and logic defying.

Do I come off as arrogant? Shame on me, I was hoping it would more obvious.

Dougger's picture

Incredible. Thanks for sharing.

I like football

ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

It's scary that people like that girl actually exist.

Class of 2010.

Idaho Helga's picture

I work for a company that sells the agency software you might be using.  I hear stories like yours every day.  Its amazing.
Everyone with a city of population >50,000 thinks they have the worst drivers.  Who knows?
 

Grantschu54's picture

If you're making a left hand-turn, PULL UP INTO THE INTERSECTION. That way, the cars immediately behind you won't have to wait a whole light cycle to make the same turn you just did.

This is actually Illegal (or frowned upon), I have gotten pulled over for it. Plus if the guy in the oncoming lane decides to push it to make it through the light you are in a very bad spot.

What do you need water for, Sunshine? We're Stretching and You're a Kicker!

buck-I.8's picture

You're only supposed to pull into the intersection in anticipation of a gap when the light is green, and even that should be subtle. When you pull all the way into the intersection, you're that asshole that waits for the line of cars going straight to stop when the light changes and then you're running a red light. That said, it's DJ's world, we're all just living in it.

William's picture

It's impossible to 'run a red light' if you entered the intersection while the light was green or yellow. I don't know what in the Hell they're teaching people in Driver's Ed, but it's not running a red light if you enter the intersection before the light is red. Really people are the assholes when they don't pull out into the intersection, and hold up the cars behind them. It's the same thing with merging, people slow down more often than not when merging, when they're supposed to speed up. Too many people are indecisive when they're driving, it's maddening. 

buck-I.8's picture

When I took driving school, they told us that being stationary in the intersection is not the same as "being in the intersection when the light turns yellow," as referred to by that rule.

William's picture

That doesn't even make sense. How can it be deemed 'running a red' if you've already established position inside the intersection? 

buck-I.8's picture

Because the idea is not to pull up and stop in the intersection in the first place

William's picture

So you hold up traffic in the process (which is illegal in some states)? Again that doesn't make sense. 

Brutus Forever's picture

where did you go to driving school buck-i.8? that's not how it works here in ohio

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer

Doc's picture

William you are 100% correct.  My father taught drivers ed for almost 20 years.  He taught us to be in the intersection when you are waiting for a left turn.  I have NEVER had a problem with a cop when doing this.  People are stupid animals, why should we be good drivers.  75% of us shouldn't leave the house, let alone drive a 2500 pound projectile.

"Say my name."

Crimson's picture

You're right: you cannot "'run a red light' if you entered the intersection while the light was green or yellow."  That isn't the point; it's about obstructing an intersection.  Here are two pieces of information for Ohio:

4511.712 (A) No driver shall enter an intersection or marked crosswalk or drive onto any railroad grade crossing unless there is sufficient space on the other side of the intersection . . .

http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/4511.712
People mostly interpret it as for moving straight through an intersection, but I do not see how it does not similarly apply to turns (i.e. if you cannot make a turn right now).

One may advance into the intersection as a prelude to turning, provided that no other traffic control devices prohibit this action.

http://publicsafety.ohio.gov/links/hsy7607.pdf
This leads to more of a debate.  What is the meaning of prelude?  Considering that people in Ohio get ticketed for this, it should refer to the impending situation that you see happening now, rather than once the light turns red in the future.
Here's the rule that us young people were essentially given: "You can only enter the intersection when you can safely complete your intended action."  If you cannot complete your turn, because the road to the left became full after you entered the intersection, or if an emergency vehicle cannot get through because of same, you are liable for a ticket.  Therefore, even if you continue to claim that you can enter and sit in an intersection waiting to turn in general, there are cases in which you can legally receive a ticket for it.

William's picture

One may advance into the intersection as a prelude to turning, provided that no other traffic control devices prohibit this action.

This is all dependent on there being 'traffic control devices' that prohibit this action, such as a traffic light solely devoted to turning, or a sign that prohibits turning. That doesn't describe entering the intersection as impeding the flow of traffic. Again, if something isn't explicitly listed, you shouldn't be given a ticket for it. It's kind of hard to break the law, when what you're accused of doing isn't prohibited. 

Crimson's picture

Read previous post.  Thank you.

Brutus Forever's picture

it seems you are allowed to pull into the intersection as long as you don't block a crosswalk, railroad Xing, or if there is a sign that explicitly prohibits you from entering the intersection. The quotes you cited state this, therefore it is not illegal to pull into the intersection during a green light to wait on a turn if you obey these guidelines.

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer

DJ Byrnes's picture

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

Poison nuts's picture

It's a state by state law..in Florida, it's illegal, although I do all the time & never had any issues.

"Do not pass me, just slow down - I can move right through you" Superchunk - Precision Auto.

Triv's picture

In Ohio driver's ed (3.5 years removed) we are taught to pull 1/3 of the way into the intersection. So either it is not illegal or they are teaching us illegal things in Ohio

Sorry Urban, Woody is still my favorite

Nick's picture

What happens when they give any idiot that can make four right turns a license.  Also people don't believe in headlights in bad weather anymore.

harleymanjax's picture

As a Truck Driver I can say without a doubt Columbus is a cake walk compared to most of the country!

"Because I couldn't go for 3"

NoVA Buckeye's picture

Columbus drivers are terrible. When I drove the family up from DC, where the driving is equally terrible, I nearly lost it when someone who didn't have their turn signal on pulled up on a turn section. I may not be educated on Ohio driving laws, but I'm pretty sure you need to put on a turn signal and...
... most importantly... 
NOT TURN ON RED.

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

William's picture

What do you mean by 'Not turn on red'? 'Right on red' has been legal in every state in the US since 1980. It's only illegal when a sign explicitly says so, or there is a right turn traffic light. 

NoVA Buckeye's picture

Sorry I didn't make it clear, I meant LEFT on red. I can see why you're confused.

The offseason begins when your season ends. Even then there are no days off.

William's picture

Oh alright. That's another thing that people fail to do in my mind, turn right on red when they should. 

Brutus Forever's picture

having lived in NYC for five years I can tell you that in NYC and boston, right on red is illegal, and at most intersections in these cities there are no signs that explicitly say this.

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer

MN Buckeye's picture

What if you are Derek Zoolander, and can't turn left?

Buckeyeneer's picture

I'm not an ambi-turner.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

Grantschu54's picture

Then you start a center for kids who don't read good and want to learn to do other stuff good too. 

What do you need water for, Sunshine? We're Stretching and You're a Kicker!

RedStorm45's picture

People in every region of the country seem to claim their area can't drive (Atlanta, DC, NY, Chicago, LA, etc).

jedkat's picture

NYC you don't drive. Long Island, now THAT'S another matter entirely. Some would say they're not really driving either...

"I was tired of trying to work my way around the back, so I just ran him over"

~ Joey Bosa

Buckeyejason's picture

Long island has some of the worst goons driving in the U.S. 
On the other hand...EVERYONE thinks where they live has the worst drivers. 

BUCKEYES BABY!

hodge's picture

I live near a three way stop, and hilarity (and rage) ensues as about 40% of all people driving down the one direction that has no stop automatically assume that they need to, and constantly park their car in the left turn lane, assuming that they're just somehow missing the stop sign.
It never ceases to amuse me, right before I unload a ferocious swath of epithets.
Columbus, as a whole, isn't a terrible driving city, though the parallel parking near campus is downright abysmal, as is the hospital curve on 315 during rush hour or any time it rains.

William's picture

The hospital curve on 315, the 315 North-270 interchange, and the 270-71 North interchanges are some of the worst spots in Columbus. They accentuate the failures of people who can't drive/merge. Also the exit for 23 on 270 has to have at least 5 wrecks a week. 

Buckeyeneer's picture

I used to work at Campus View on the north side. Getting out of that damn development took forever and then I still had the I-270/SR 315/High Street/I-71 fustercluck to deal with.

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

Bucksfan's picture

If you're making a left hand-turn, PULL UP INTO THE INTERSECTION. That way, the cars immediately behind you won't have to wait a whole light cycle to make the same turn you just did.

In many cities, what you're saying people should do is technically against the law.  You might need to check Columbus's policy first, or at the very least recognize that many people in Columbus might be new to the city.

On that same vein, if you're at, let's just say a 4-way stop intersection, and somebody waves you on, GO. They have offered you their turn, SO TAKE IT. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, sit there like a clown and wave them on instead. YOU HAVE JUST WASTED EVERYONE'S TIME AND SQUANDERED THE CHARITY.

The person with the right-of-way should be going through the intersection first.  Just because someone waves someone else on doesn't mean that person should be going through the intersection.
 

William's picture

One of the problems is that ~99% of people driving didn't pay attention in Driver's Ed when going over Right of Way. Most people driving don't know what to do when people arrive at the intersection at the same time, or which direction receives Right of Way. It's idiotic really. 

Also you'd have to to show me evidence of your claim that pulling into a intersection is illegal. Maybe cite some cities where it is, because it's legal to do that in the state of Michigan. http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2012/09/traffic_talk_should_you_enter.html

In fact there isn't a single stipulation in the ORC that prohibits one from entering an intersection and waiting while turning left. If it isn't prohibited it isn't illegal. Could a city have certain laws for turning, like NYC? Sure, but I highly doubt ol' C-bus has anything like that. http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/4511.36

dumpus's picture

its illegal in DC, NYC, Boston, Miami, VA Beach, Albany, Cleveland, and Minneapolis.  that's just the first page of a google search for "block the box law".  yes, the "block the box" laws apply specifically for gridlock-inducing halfwits who pull into a congested intersection on green and then get stuck when it turns red - but the wording of most of these laws covers any vehicles stationary in an intersection.  you likely won't find any sympathy because it poses an obstruction risk for emergency vehicles; i've seen more than a few ambulances or firetrucks have to actually pull around a vehicle waiting to turn in the intersection because the vehicle got hung out to dry and couldn't go forwards or backwards without missing his turn. 
the funniest thing is watching someone get crushed by a red light camera for pulling into the intersection and waiting and waiting and waiting and then being committed to turning through the red because they're now impeding crossing traffic.  hahaha sucker. 
regardless of legality, its still a dick impatient move by the driver. 

BTwrestle04's picture

That is not at all the same as going into the intersection to turn left. While "blocking the box" insinuates that there are obstructions on the other side of the intersection preventing you from getting out of the middle. If you are waiting to turn left and the light turns yellow, traffic coming the opposite direction stop and you then turn left without obstruction. It just prevents you having to sit at the left hand turn lane for another entire light cycle.

Brutus Forever's picture

"regardless of legality, its still a dick impatient move by the driver."
So what you're saying is that following the OHIO law, and doing as we were taught in OHIO driving schools and by OHIO driving instructors, is a "dick impatient move"? I think 99% of Ohio drivers would argue the opposite, and say that sitting at the white stripe during a green light to turn left while holding up traffic behind them is a dick "F*ck your time, you're on my time" move by said driver. The remaining 1% that think this is a "dick impatient move" also likely believe that pulling into an intersection to turn left is illegal or somehow frowned upon in Ohio.

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer

Triv's picture

Said it earlier in the thread, but Central Ohio driver's ed (at least the one I attented 3 and a half years ago) teaches you to pull 1/3 of the way into the intersection when waiting to turn left

Sorry Urban, Woody is still my favorite

Bucksfan's picture

Ah, fair enough.  That hadn't been posted at the time I commented.

Kurt's picture

I used to hate driving in Ohio as well for many of the same reasons - people move too slow, I move too fast.  Then I moved to NYC and left the car behind.  I then saw the light of the car-free existence and I'll do everything in my power to not rely on an automobile on a daily basis ever again - I may once again own a vehicle in a different, less transit-rich city, I just won't rely on it for everyday use.  
So ultimately I interpret this post as advocacy for better transit options in Columbus, Ohio and the Midwest (based on the comments) as a whole.  Bravo DJ, even if indirectly.

Kaceybrown's picture

I was stationed at fort bliss in El Paso Texas for 3 years. Flew into the Columbus airport & rented a car to go visit family. I also use a new '11 5.0 mustang as my daily driver & I consider myself an aggressive yet considerate safe driver. My point is, driving in Columbus was a treat compared to the non-driving @&&@'::()!??, in El Paso. 

cplunk's picture

I live in DC. If I even begin typing about driving here my head will explode in rage.
We have the longest average commute in the country (53 minutes) but we're not in the top ten in population. What does that tell you?
my commute, by the way, is longer than that average.

buckskin's picture

Here's one you can add to your list.  If you're in the fast lane and not passing anybody; PULL OVER!  I am a pretty relaxed driver but this one drives me crazy.  I often look over and these people are oblivious to anything around them; they are in their own little world. 
As far as waving someone on at a 4-way stop, don't do it.  The best advice is to follow the traffic laws in that situation as they pertain to right of way (1st person there goes, if both arrive at the same time, the car on the right goes).  I have seen about 100 near accidents where both people ended up going at the same time (both waving for the other to go). 

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

A-freaking-men!   The "left lane oblivious" driver is one of my all time biggest pet peeves.  Sadly, my wife does it sometimes, and I lose my mind with her.   My oldest daughter is about to start driver's ed classes and I have told her that her mother is NOT allowed to teach her anything.
And on the 4 way stop thing, please explain to me the "person on the right goes" when you both arrive at the same time from the opposite direction.   NEITHER OF YOU IS ON THE RIGHT.   What then?   But I agree with you, the incessant waving needs to stop, whoever go there first goes.

SMP's picture

After 15 years at UPS as driver supervisor and manager, I have seen a little bit of everything.  I would often help teach new driver class based at the Obetz Hub.  Trying to teach someone how to drive and park a vehicle twice the size of most cars was frustrating, scary and gratifying. Most students have never driven a vehicle that large, driven a manual drive (4 speed on most trucks at the time) or have driven in Columbus.  Basically it is an intense defensive driving class, which to this day I still practice the skills learned.  Columbus does have it's fair share of poor drivers, but Cinci has more! 

Indy_Buck87's picture

Come over to Indy and take 65 north to Chicago sometime if you want a white knuckle experience.  It's a 100 mile road race where get run off the road if you are driving less than 90.  I work for a company based out of north LA and have driving the 105, 405 etc many times.  It's a country drive in comparison. 

I know of only two things that are infinite, space and human stupidity.....and I'm not sure about space". Albert Einstein.

brandonbauer87's picture

I'll add mine. Engage the turn signal BEFORE you brake to turn. Throwing the signal on at the last possible second defeats its intended purpose. 

4thandinches's picture

There are bad drivers everywhere, not just in Columbus. No matter where you move you are going to be faced with the same problem. 

I wasn't born a Buckeye but I became one as fast as I could. 

Baroclinicity's picture

The one that really grinds me to pieces that I don't think has been mentioned is the shopping center idiot who stops when they shouldn't.  For example, often times when you pull into a mall or bigger plaza, there is an intersection just a few car lengths in coming off the main road where the incoming traffic is not supposed to stop.  Someone always does and miraculously still does it when the line of cars in front has already gone through without stopping like they were supposed to.  Effs everything up.  Takes all of my will power not to floor it head on into their car just to teach them a lesson.

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

GoBucks713's picture

I work part time as a Valet in this city, and people need to remember to
1) Leave the engine running when you valet, which means don't take your keys with you
2) Tip! We don't make ANY PART OF THE VALET FEE. That money goes to the rental of the lot where we are parking your car.
3) If it takes more than 2 minutes for us to get your car, please remember, most of the time we are running more than 1/4 for your car, then also have to deal with 1 way streets and pedestrians and bums asking us for money.
4) Tip!!!
5) If you treat us with respect, you will be treated with the best customer service in the world.
6)Tip!!!
7) If you are short, move the seat back a little for the Valet.
 
*End Rant

-The Aristocrats!

Doc's picture

I'm not directing my post directly at you 713, but valets need to remember my car isn't a nascar.  Secondly, why do they have to change the radio station and the mirrors?  If I get out of MY car with Van Halen blaring at ear splitting levels the car should be returned to me with Van Halen blaring at the same level, not country or rap or whatever else the valet wants to listen to for the 45 seconds they are driving my car.

"Say my name."

GoBucks713's picture

HAHA. The valets that I work with normally turn the radio down. We don't want to hear you rocking out to Katy Perry and whatever country garbage you're listening to. And in regards to the mirrors, most of the time we are backing into a spot and also in traffic downtown, so yeah, we're going to move a mirror or two. I'm also 6'3" so I move the seat too. I always let people know that I've adjusted things to be safer in their car as a courtesy. As far as driving fast, I've always kept it at the speed limit. I've valeted with some of the other companies, and I've had some of the same complaints though. I'll stick with parking with red shirts over blue or green shirts, but that's just me.

-The Aristocrats!

RodVedder4's picture

"How do these people operate a blender, let alone a 2,500 lbs. vehicle capable of instantly dealing death to other human beings?"
Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I've uttered some variation of this phrase...DJ, you are spot on with everything in this analysis.  Well done.
That said, you want a REALLY bad city to drive in?  Pittsburgh.  Not only are the drivers there complete morons, but they decided to give a 3 year old a crayon, have them scribble on a piece of paper, and then lay their streets out like that.  It's awful.

Excellence and greatness will be remembered...there is no room for average. None. - Urban Meyer

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - Joey Bosa

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

Pittsburgh (and Western Pennsylvania drivers in general) are ATROCIOUS.   They stay in the left lane for no reason, drive way too slow, and have a horrible habit of riding their brakes continuously downhill on the highway.   Drives me batty every time I am forced to cross the border into that turd eating state full of "y'ins-ers".

ShowThemOhiosHere's picture

Agreed.  People cannot drive for shit in this town.  Most people are either too aggressive or too timid.  Where's the middle ground?  Here are probably my biggest pet peeves:

  • The merging thing.  Drives me crazy.  You need to merge at highway speed - yet I find myself merging behind people at like 40 mph all of the time.
  • People who aren't in the lane that they need to be when a turn or something comes up, and then try to get there at the last minute, holding up traffic and/or cutting people off.
  • People driving 50 on the interstate.  Seriously, get off the road.
  • People who change lanes repeatedly, especially in heavy traffic, as if it is going to get them to their destination significantly faster. 

Class of 2010.

Jelligrim's picture

I need Clyde to ride shotgun while driving anywhere.

Seabass1974's picture

You could actually change the title of this to 75% of the world should not be allowed to drive.

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. - Woody Hayes

Crimson's picture

Disagree.  75% of the world cannot afford a car; at least 95% therefore should not drive.

Firmthyfriendship's picture

Two pet peeves:
1) " it's not that I'm nervous to drive in the snow, it's those other people" said by 100% of the driving population. Why can't you admit it: "I don't have insurance and I'm scared as hell to be diving my rear wheel drive POS in this!"
2) lights out? It's a four way stop you morons! Just because you're on the "busier" street doesn't mean you get to run it!
3) bonus: iPad's auto-correct.

Brutus Forever's picture

+1 for #2

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer

9Route's picture

98% of the females of the mentioned 75% should not be able to drive 99% of the time

I'm just happy to be here

740's picture

i was at american university in dc for awhile. until you live la, nyc, or dc traffic, it's impossible to comprehend how awful drivers can be.
 
also, for ultimate awful driving experience, i recommend mexico city or bogota. 10 million people, (20 in mc) no traffic laws, and infrastructure built for a city of a tenth of that size. a friend of mine went through med school in mc (wasn't his first choice haha). he said when there's a wreck, you just f@#$ing abandon your car and run because the police are so nuts. he went through 6 junkers in 4 years.

buckskin's picture

If two people come up to a 4 way instersection at the same time from opposite directions; I'm pretty sure they are allowed to play demolition derby with their cars while everybody else waits, and as long as they shake hands afterwards; it's legal in Ohio.
Seriously, I don't know who has right of way in this instance.  It's only been 25 years since drivers ed. 

DJ Byrnes's picture

It would depend on who is turning where. If you're turning left and the other person is going straight, you yield to the person going straight. Any other combination of turns/driving straight won't impede each other.

Californian by birth, Marionaire by the Grace of President Warren G. Harding.

pjtobin's picture

I hate the ppl who refuse to merge before the lane ends. They have to outrun everyone and get two cars ahead? It makes no sense to me. I will get in the middle lane set my, cruise, and run 70/72 on 71 all day. If I need to pass, I do. If I need to slow down, I do. Even if I'm late I'm in no hurry. I have a wife and three kids waiting for me back home. Plus I drive a camo truck with company name and phone number on it. And it's bad for business driving bad. 

Bury me in my away jersey, with my buckeye blanket. A diehard who died young. Rip dad. 

Jugdish's picture

I live in a rural area where there are few chances to pass. There is a passing lane set up where an extra lane has been installed for passing. The sign says "slower traffic keep right". Many people will not pull into the right lane and you must pass on the right. Some drivers go 40-45 on the road leading up to the passing section then speed up to 60 in the passing lane. This really pisses me off and I will pass on the right anyway because they will slow to 45 once they get through the passing area.
The other peeve is two lanes merging into one before going onto a freeway. Just be courteous and alternate while merging into one lane. 

Remember to get your wolverine spayed or neutered. TBDBITL

Brutus Forever's picture

My personal Columbus favorite is when a driver going in one direction crosses over the double yellow line to sit in the opposite direction's turn lane. Idiotic at best.
In my 20+ years as a Columbus citizen, I can say that bad drivers in Columbus come in all varieties: from drivers in the hood ridin dirty, to prissy assholes in muirfield who think they are entitled to be douchenozzles because they drive a 3 series bimmer. It's not just a Columbus thing, but i've encountered so many tailgaters that I've started an organization for them to join: the DRAA (D*ck Riders Association of America)

"I learned to dislike Michigan at a very young age.” – Urban F. Meyer

William's picture

I'll tailgate at times, but that's only because people fail to realize that going anything less than 10 miles over the speed limit is just too damn slow.

Warfield's picture

Having commuted from the suburbs to OSU everyday for the last 35 years I can attest that Columbus drivers don't know how to merge and don't generally use their turn signals, but I've never seen anything like I experienced in Rome, London, or Amsterdam. I feared for my life!