Jay Jacobs (Auburn AD) looks EXACTLY like I thought he would.

BuckeyeAbroad's picture
December 1, 2013 at 9:31a

Total. Douchebag.


I have posted one other time on 11W, but this guy's gall, arrogance, and his dumb, fat, (and likely bourbon-laced, slow southern-drawl-emitting) face compelled me to post again. His musings with my retorts in open letter to... format.

"An SEC team can't get left out of the (championship game) with one loss," Jacobs said. "We just beat the No. 1 team in the nation, and a team ahead of us struggled today, I understand." I guess that "one-loss SEC team, who beats the #1 team, while another team ahead in the standings struggles" rule is written down in the double-secret, BCS NCG Team Selection Rule Book that no one else is privy to? Can you clarify the rule?

"...a one-loss SEC team that wins in Atlanta — if it's us or Missouri — you can't get left out of the BCS after you beat the No. 1 team. We have a better argument because we beat the No. 1 team." So, wait... if Missouri beats you in Atlanta, the Tigers would be required to play in the NCG as well because it will have beaten the team that beat the #1 team? You just said the team that beats the #1 team has to go. It's "a better argument." For God's sake, you JUST said that!. It's in "the rule book", right? Okay, if beating the team that beats the #1 team is the same thing as beating the #1 team, please just clearly quote the rule as listed in the BCS NCG Team Selection Rule Book to remove confusion. Also, there's a corn dog stuck on your chin. And one floating in your "bourbon, tall".

"It's already happened in 2004, and it would be a disservice to the nation if we got left out." Who? You mean an undefeated team from a power conference getting left out of the NCG? If ONLY we had a currently-undefeated, power conference team having its legitimacy being questioned to really reinforce the unjustness your school suffered at being overlooked for the NCG in 2004 (oh, BTW, there were TWO undefeated teams ahead of your team when it was "left out"). Holy crap, could you imagine the national outrage if that team was undefeated for TWO straight years and got left out in favor of a one-loss team!?!? We're talking "National Guard shooting rioters in the streets outrage", I would imagine. Finally, "a disservice to the nation"? Are you bat-shit crazy? A one-loss Auburn/SEC team playing in the NCG is so far from being on the level of anything remotely important at a national level that your statement makes me question both your qualifications to lead an athletic department and whether you should be walking around without a safety helmet. 

Has anyone reminded you that your team has needed two legitimate miracles (call-the-effing-Pope type miracles) to win its past two games? Oh, AND your team has a loss? Losses are "struggling" x infinity in case you haven't heard.

I'll tell you what ass clown, why don't we do this: 1) You: shut up. Just. Shut. Up. You're embarrassing yourself and your school. 2) Let's have Missouri go ahead and beat your school next week. Out of curiosity, is there a "one loss SEC-#4 team-that-beats-the-#3 team-that-beat-the-#1 team in the SEC Championship Game" caveat in that rule book of yours? If so, I'll start writing my reply to Mizzou's AD now.


Nick's picture

is there a "one loss SEC-#4 team-that-beats-the-#3 team-that-beat-the-#1 team in the SEC Championship Game" caveat in that rule book of yours? If so, I'll start writing my reply to Mizzou's AD now.


Chief B1G Dump's picture

I love how all these jabrones overlook the fact that Auburn shit the bed against a 3 loss LSU team. They flat out lost the game. Yet now that doesnt matter beacuse they benefitted from Bama beating themselves.
If anyone has a gripe, its Mizzou. They lost in double OT without their starting QB. But im not going to help weave that story as im sure we'll hear plenty of it if they win next Sat.

And yes, AllBarns AD looks like Herbies long lost illegitimate brother.

Hovenaut's picture

Not to mention they should have lost to a woebegone Georgia team.


We have filled the Braxton Miller position.

MN Buckeye's picture

I believe that woebegone is the name of a lake in minnesota . . .

BuckeyeVet's picture

WELL played, sir, well played.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."          - Groucho Marx

"The possible recipient of Oyster's ONLY down vote".

Jeeves's picture

Herbie is now fat herbie.

GoBucks10's picture

Pure gold pants gold worthy! Great write up!

"Because I couldn't go for three."  - Woody Hayes

sharks's picture

That's an older, heavier Herbstreit.
I'll bet if you pull that guy's mask off, Scooby Doo style...

A man got to have a code...

GreatLakesBeer's picture

I guarantee he snorts coke before going to church on sunday mournings........... i just get that vibe and my dad was a detective so im prolly right

If you will it dude, it is no dream

Alhan's picture

Your reasoning seems to be perfectly sound. :-)

"Nom nom nom" - Brady Hoke

kmp10's picture

He looks like Herbstreit's fat older brother

ShirtPants's picture

Dear jay Jacobs,
Just because you shot Jesse James, don't make you Jesse James......
-signed buckeye nation and mike ehrmantraut

bigbadbuck's picture

"It would be a disservice to the nation if we got left out"
I'm in the process of polling the whole nation to see if, in fact, they feel like a disservice has been done to them. I will be back with the results later.

Edit: After polling the entire nation to get their feed back the results are in.

21 percent asked me "Aub" who?
17 percent weren't even sure Alabama was a state
42 percent wanted to know why the Securities and Exchange Commission ($EC) were interested in college football
20 percent told me to get the hell away from them.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, its a war room

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

I interacted with Jay on a number of occasions when he was the strength & conditioning coach at Auburn. When I found he he'd been named AD a decade or so ago I laughed for probably a full minute. He's the very definition of a good 'ole boy...not very bright, but by gum he'll do what he's told and he'll never rock the boat. 

Maceyko's picture

Would this really be the time to lobby for your team when you haven't even won your conference title game?  I think if you get beat in that game you REALLY look like a fool after putting all of this out there.  Stupid.

toad1204's picture

Reminiscenct of a certain "Karma" tweet

Nothing like dancing on the field in 02... 

Whoa Nellie's picture

Wouldn't his time be better spent on the phone with FL prosecutors?

“Don’t fear criticism. The stands are full of critics. They play no ball. They fight no fights. They make no mistakes because they attempt nothing. Down on the field are the doers, they make mistakes because they attempt many things.”

TennesseeBuckeye's picture

Better worry about MO, who lost to SC who lost to TN who lost to FL who lost to FCS GA Southern.
Oh how the might SEC is hurting. When the SEC stops losing to FCS teams then they can come and tell us how bad we are

I may not be able to outsmart too many people, but I can outwork 'em.
Woody Hayes

BuckeyeAbroad's picture

For the record - in case a record is being kept - this was not an intentional Herbstreit look-alike slam posting. No, I just wanted to really express my frustrations with stupidity.

Remy's picture

Perfect post on this situation. You nailed it.

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later." ~ Mitch Hedberg

causeicouldntgo43's picture

Great column - I believe Marcus Hall would give Jay Jacobs two thumbs fingers up..........

buckeyerose's picture

OMG what a fat, ugly *ucking douche.....reminds me of Herbie's 3rd cousin or something.  Eeeeuw!  

First ever undisputed National Champions! OH! 

gobucks96's picture

His argument using the '04 Tigers is in direct contrast to what he trying to prove..

acBuckeye's picture

I didn't know Pat Forde was Auburn's AD.

This post was pure gold.

teddyballgame's picture

Guess he fell off the wagon again, because he's definitely back on the cheeseburgers

Sgt. Elias's picture

I've never realized how much forehead real estate he has going on. As someone once said one time, "It's a fivehead". 

"Okay -- I've got an El Camino full of rampage here." 

LiveLoveARob's picture

Wait a minute!! What's wrong with a little (or a lot) of bourbon every now and again?