Confidential: Brady Hoke's Intercepted Txts

January 17, 2014 at 1:25p    by DJ Byrnes    
38 Comments

It seems Brady Hoke is a bit of an anti-technology guru, which is surprising because he's the frontman of an organization that churns millions of dollars a year and it's 2014. 

The latest revelation: Brady Hoke is an ALL-CAPS TXTR, because Brady Hoke is just about out of damns to give. 

We here at Eleven Warriors are unable to confirm how these texts fell into our possession, but we did not pay for these and there's no reason to doubt their authenticity:

BRADY HOKE TAUNTS HIS COORDINATORS

According to our sources, Brady Hoke often keeps himself occupied during football games by group MMSing his coordinators. This one was allegedly sent during the opening minutes of the Michigan-Ohio State game.

BRADY HOKE ASKS THE $10,000,000 QUESTION

This one absolutely breaks our hearts. We fix it by looking at the final score of The Game.

BRADY HOKE WEIGHS IN DURING CRITICAL TIMEOUT

MGOBLOG Headline: Brady Hoke is the next Vince Lombardi.

BRADY HOKE NEVER SLEEPS

We're just going to leave this one here.

BRADY HOKE REPEATS: THE MCRIB IS BACK

Brady Hoke is a master recruiter.


38 Comments

Comments

osu07asu10's picture

Awesome, I needed a Friday pick me up.

"They don't know what they don't know." - Coach Mick

bigbadbuck's picture

I love good espionage!

droessl's picture

Brady Hoke suffers from voice immodulation in texts?

luckynutz's picture

A LITTLE BIT SOFTER NOW...A LITTLE BIT SOFTER NOW

Oyster's picture

"MUST BE OHIO GRADS"  Classic!

May you R.I.P. Otsego, but know this. Gaylord Rocks!

BierStube's picture

That is a real burn to those pesky Bobcats!

"No matter where you go, there you are." B. Banzai

sharks's picture

This topic is so awesome that I upvoted all the previous posters

The postgame show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. The hell with it...

Buckeye_Ryan's picture

Wait - are these really fucking real? 

Born a Buckeye, raised a Buckeye, will die a Buckeye.

Baroclinicity's picture

I guess Lewan was making a booty call.
 

When you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

gobucks96's picture

no wonder why he had to hit on a cheerleader during the game..

Thomas's picture

If these are real, they are glorious! 

BucksfanXC's picture

Wait, are all the questions about whether this is real real?

“Any time you give a man something he doesn't earn, you cheapen him. Our kids earn what they get, and that includes respect.”  - Woody

JOhio1560's picture

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?  IS THIS REAL LIFE!?  WHERE AM I!?  WHERE ARE ME TWINKEES!?  WHY AM I WEARING SHORT SLEEVES!?

"You Win With People" - Woody Hayes

The Butler's picture

AT DANCE CLASS:

I've trained Canaries in the sport of falconry.

 

JOhio1560's picture

That's disgusting.  Love how the two little girls in the background are frozen in shock/horror.

"You Win With People" - Woody Hayes

Doc's picture

I just looked at this thread with my iPod playing on shuffle in the background. As I saw this thread the Stones came on and the song was Whip Comes Down. It fits perfectly to this gif. Mind blown. 

"Say my name."

johnblairgobucks's picture

Probably nothing new for Brady, there.....  I'm 100% certain that is how he dresses and moves every morning standing in front of the stove, frying up some bacon and  cooking up some pancakes.

Borrowed Time's picture

Major props to whoever created those - hilarious!
Reminds me of the Texts toGreg Popovich on Grantland, which are also hilarious
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/text-messages-to-gregg-popovich-from-a...

MN Buckeye's picture

OMG, I had not seen these before. I have been laughing for 10 minutes and my wife is wondering what the hell is going on.

German Buckeye's picture

Had a bad day going, this cheered me up.  Thanks!

Joe4's picture

I think my favorite was the one with Kobe. 
"Snakes don't get nervous."
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/text-messages-to-kobe-bryant-im-afraid-of-snakes/
 
 

GoBucks713's picture

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY RUM-HAM, AND CAN YOU PICK UP SOME BACON ON THE WAY HOME -BRADY

-The Aristocrats!

JOhio1560's picture

True Fact: Linda Hoke's, maiden name is "Homburger."  I wonder why Brady tried so hard to gain her affection.

"You Win With People" - Woody Hayes

droessl's picture

RUM HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

AkronBuckeye13's picture

You might say we're getting ham-mered.

Buckeyeneer's picture

We're saved! It's the Guido's!

"Because the rules won't let you go for three." - Woody Hayes

THE Ohio State University

GoBucksToledo's picture

These can't be real, in the meatloaf text he didn't call the recruit Alex.

Hovenaut's picture

I NEVER KNOW WHAT HE'S TEXTING ON THERE.....

 
FAHK!

ChazBuckeye's picture

This is fabulous!

Some people think we’re the hunted.I don’t feel that way at all.We’re the hunter.Everybody wants an angry football team.Everybody wants a team on edge and a hungry team.If you’re a hunter,that usually equates to being hungry.

BamaBuckeye144's picture

I give it a solid 'Six Kinds of Awesome'. That's what this post has.

OH-IO!

BoFuquel's picture

Absolute zero, and that's way beyond cool. GO BUCKS!

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Kurt's picture

The hell is 'tracphone'?

BuckeyeStrong2's picture

one of those prepaid/pay as you go plans.

BuckToAsT's picture

It's the Verizon for drug dealers.

WC Buckeye's picture

A "burn" phone. If it looks like someone is going to seize it or get your number, you throw it in the trash and get a new one.

The only thing that's new in the world is the history that we have forgotten.

ToothBuck's picture

These are hilarious. Makes me see why a lot of kids love the guy. The McRib is back!

Knarcisi's picture

CAPS in honor of BWW, McD, and M&Ms.