Well, Ohio State lost. The Browns sunk to a new level of depravity in their loss. Football is stupid and the sporting gods have forsaken us.
Tip of the hat to Dino and Michigan State. They reduced Urban Meyer — two-time national title winner and millionaire — to a defeated man eating cold Papa John's pizza in the bowels of Indianapolis. The only way that photo could be sadder is if Urban were eating a pizza Lunchable while drinking the stale remnants of a Mickey's 40z.
Ohio State is set to face Clemson in something called the Orange Bowl in January. It's the first time Ohio State has seen Clemson since Woody Hayes faded some bro named Charlie in what instantly became his final stand as Ohio State strongman.
I don't really know what to expect from that game other than points. I'm also not sure what or who's the problem on defense, but I do trust Urban Meyer to make whatever adjustments are needed.
It's been a hell of a run, and the Buckeyes have a bright future. Bring on the Clemson Tigers and the 2014 season.
URBAN MEYER CALLED THE 4TH AND TWO SHOT. Gah. Thinking about this play (that both teams knew was coming) makes my intestines feel like Rob Stark's at the Red Wedding, and I'm not the hyper-competitive coach of Ohio State:
"That fourth-and-two," [Urban] Meyer said in a quiet moment, "is going to bother me... It was my call. I wanted to put the ball in the hands of the best player."
... "We anticipated that blitz," [Tom] Herman said. "We practiced against that blitz. We just didn't execute it."
Yeah, that's going to sting for a long time. I remember now why Ohio State has tried to avoid losing for the last two years.
Still can't believe that happened
— Joey Bosa (@jbbigbear) December 8, 2013
Me either, Joey Big Bear. Me either.
BRAXTON BACK, BRAXTON BACK!? Buried in the Pete Thamel article in Sports Illustrated linked above was this nugget:
Miller told SI.com that he plans to return for his senior season, but wouldn't guarantee it 100 percent, saying that he needed time to mull over the decision. There's also a strong expectation within the Ohio State program that Miller will be back, although Meyer said he hasn't broached the topic with his quarterback yet.
As an idiot on the internet, I think Braxton Miller would most benefit through another year in college (especially so if Tom Herman's services are retained), but I think the probability of Braxton Miller pulling his NFL ripcord is a lot higher than most think.
Braxton Miller is a father, and the MCL sprain this year could have made him realize how fleeting his athletic career can be. He'd be a project at quarterback, but he's without question an NFL-caliber athlete. I wouldn't bet against him returning for his senior season; all I'm saying is the chances of him leaving are higher than people think.
(Those ready to bash Braxton's NFL prospects should look at Terrelle Pryor, who is still getting paid.)
The Starcat was as shocked by Saturday's loss as you.MICHIGAN IS GOING TO THE WINGS BOWL. Let's take a moment to revel in a simple truth on this dark Monday: we aren't Michigan.
That said, I'd like to take this time to congratulate Michigan on another sterling five-loss season and and berth in the prestigious Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl against the Kansas State Wildcats.
With it, we will finally find out who is the better five-loss team in a throw-away bowl game that will be forgotten before the year is out.
One would think preparing for the dynamic Wildcats, lifting weights, watching film or doing something positive to protect Michigan's football brand from further dilution would be on the minds of most Michigan players, but one would be wrong.
Take Michigan captain Taylor Lewan, a future NFL draft pick and a guy who may or may not have once threatened to rape a rape victim, whose bitterness spurned him to a final potshot against Ohio State:
Like I said before Ohio is not the #3 team on the country... Or 2 .. Congrats to MSU well deserved . Great game for the big ten #NoBadDays
— Taylor Lewan (@TaylorLewan77) December 8, 2013
Taylor Lewan is probably my least favorite Wolverine since Mike "0-4" Hart (who is up for the Eastern Michigan job). Impressive for two guys who have one victory against Ohio State in nine tries. Have fun in a December bowl game, Lewan, the final chapter of your career of bitter failure at Michigan. It was capstoned by you having to live vicariously through "little brother."
FORMER FLORIDA PLAYERS HAPPY URBAN LOST. This Deadspin story on tweets by former Florida papers in the aftermath of the B1G championship is just bizarre.
Granted, I'm not a college football guru, but Quinton Dunbar, Kent Taylor, Ked Johnson, Brad Phillips!?!?!? Who the hell are these guys, other than bitter bums shitting on the hand that once tried to feed them? They sound like a lineup of suspects on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
KEVIN SUMLIN IN PLAY FOR NFL STILL. Last week, Texas A&M's Kevin Sumlin agreed to a six-year contract extension, which everybody assumed ended the courtship for his services by NFL teams. However, it was reported yesterday by the NFL Network's Ian Rapoport, Sumlin hasn't signed that extension and is technically still in play for pro teams.
THOSE WMDs. Dino confirms UCONN has contacted MSU about DC Pat Narduzzi... Madison turns skeptical eye to city's Snuggle House... Fantastic AP photo from yesterday's Blizzard Bowl... "Airbnb said this man didn't exist, so I had coffee with him"... Jim Ross calls Ukrainian protesters toppling Lenin statue... Amazing iPad drawings... Terry has the baddest-ass OSU jacket... Turns out, there could be coaching changes at UM... AMERICA, SON... #TenYearWar2...
