The Dubgate Says 'Hail Xerxes'

By DJ Byrnes on December 7, 2013 at 6:00a

“ There will be no glory in your sacrifice. I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories!” — KING XERXES

Granted, Mark Dantonio never struck me as a man who enjoyed entertainment until yesterday when I read his sit-down with Johnny and Eleven Warriors Weekly, but even Jim Tressel's dark apprentice has to know there will be no 300-styled feature films about this band of Spartans' futile final stand against an empire.

(Besides, Connor Cook ain't no King Leonidas.)

Yet, make no mistake: Ohio State could very well lose their first game since that sorry-ass Gator Bowl almost two years ago, but I think the Buckeyes enter the contest as their biggest enemies. If Ohio State takes care of the magic diamond and gets it to its athletes in space (GOOD TO HAVE YA BACK, DONTRE), it's curtains for ol' Sparty.

Ohio State is going for a school record 25th consecutive victory. They're playing for a BCS title shot. This is one of the most likeable teams in recent memory, so enjoy it folks. Teams like this are only eternal in memory, and they don't come around very often.

Now go out and get this chain off these upstarts, Buckeyes.



Four-star cornerback Shaun Crawford is from Lakewood, Ohio but is committed to a certain school up north. That could change, however, because last night Bucknuts' Bill Kurelic reported the 2015 product will be visiting The Ohio State University. 

Shaun: our secondary could use the help, and there is still plenty of time to not make the worst decision of your young life. The Motherland needs your talents, sir. (Although, I guess I'd understand the appeal of Michigan: they've beaten Ohio State once in the last decade.) 

Brady Hoke has a strict policy against Michigan commits taking visits to other schools, although the extent of that policy is about to be tested. Jabrill Peppers, a five-star cornerback and crown jewel of Michigan's 2014 recruiting class, has tweeted he plans to take visits to other schools before signing day. (He has yet to schedule anything official.) 

It's interesting times up in Ann Arbor to be sure, but definitely not as interesting as playing in the B1G title game. Until next year, bozos.


Call me crazy but I think the 'Zou Tigers show out tonight and do the damn thing. I also think Duke (+28), high as hell after huffing fumes of disrespect for the last week, could be itching for a fight. 





Comments Show All Comments

HTSBuckeye's picture

Let's just hope that Buckeye follows that sign and destroys everything in it's path...

97Buckeye's picture

I'm happy to see Braxton is feeling confident... because I'm nervous as hell. Go Bucks! Play like Champions!

Jonnferrell's picture

Leonidas and his Spartans are famous for a brave, yet hopeless stand and defeat at Thermopylae.  Dantonio and his Spartans will earn their fame in the same way--a brave, yet hopeless stand and defeat at Indianapolis.  Go Bucks!

"I miss Brady Hoke."

gwalther's picture

After this battle, I think we should transition to a different historical comparison though...

Class of 2008

Oldschoolbuck's picture

Masada? With tOSU as the Roman Legions?

Abe Froman's picture

I think a better historical lesson would be the 1998 team when they encountered MSU or even the 2002 NC team when they were given no respect and punched (figuratively) the immortal Miami Hurricanes in the kidneys several times before they succumbed to the slow painful loss.  I want to be the team with the chip on our shoulder.  Not the over-confident champions.  I can't remember his name, but I leave you with this... "Be nice to everyone, but have a plan to kill them."  I believe it was a great USMC Sargeant but I could be wrong.  Or if you want OSU history, play Curtis LeMay to their Tokyo and bomb the into the friggin' Stone Ages.

Basking in the wake of mediocrity.....

The Vest-er's picture

General Mattis: Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.

Fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.

stevebelliseeya's picture

Upvotes for everyone! Let's go BUCKS!!!!!

"We are eternal. All this pain is an illusion." - Tool

SOF_Buckeye's picture

With regard to disrespect, I have a feeling that tOSU defense, after a week of self inflicted bashing by the national media, as well as their own fan base due to their performance against ttun, is going to put forth a much more than respectable performance tonight; in fact I think they will provide the difference.

"The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." Woody Hayes

gumtape's picture

The style of offense utilized by staee, Walrusball, plays right into the strength of our defense. At least, that is what I keep trying to tell myself.

High and tight boo boo

buckeyerose's picture

Go bucks!   Roll HYDE!

First ever undisputed National Champions! OH! 

GoBucks10's picture

Let's Go Buckeyes!

"Because I couldn't go for three."  - Woody Hayes

BuckeyeFreak4844's picture

Starting to see some green now but I would say early in the day 80 to 20 buckeyes!

Michigan Sucks!

3 Yards And A Cloud of Dust's picture

Leave everything on the field.  There is no next game - only THIS game.

BuckeyeFreak4844's picture

I'll also be supporting my 11w skull session shirt when indoors!

Michigan Sucks!

Hovenaut's picture

There's a game on tonight, and I need to tell someone.....

Scarlet_Lutefisk's picture

Why is Kurt Rambis on a soccer pitch?

BuddhaBuck's picture

Great minds think alike. Made this yesterday... #immortalBuckeyes

Don't text while driving.

bukyze's picture

Absolutely awesome!

mshaf's picture

I just made that my screen saver !

Seattle Linga's picture

We will be fighting for four full quarters tonight and we must play Buckeyes style football to win!

LeftCoastBuck's picture

Alright guys, here is a version of Xerxes Shazier that I ginned up

"Have a Coke and a smile!.....along with $150 in UM football tickets"

Paulillo's picture

Incredible! Haha

45has2's picture

I don't think taking Mizzou against Auburnt is crazy at all, DJ. The Columbia Tigers have a huge chip on their shoulders. They get no press, no choice AssEC time slots, and no respect from their AssEC brethren. They share the same loss against The Hatter as The Tige..Plainsme...errr War Eagl...oh, whaterver their freakin' name is, except it took LSU 2 OT's to put away Mizzou. Duke, on the other hand........

"I don't like nice people. I like tough, honest people." -W.W. Hayes

Blackbeards Delight's picture

It was the Ol Ball Sacks team, not Warden Miles inmates in the double OT. 

"Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve 23yr, it's what's for breakfast"

- Me